Are there people who dwell on success, or is it human nature to only dwell on failure?

Question

Can you train your thoughts to wander to good memories instead of bad? Why does an insult from a known jerk become the memorable comment when mixed with a hundred compliments from people you respect?

Answer 1

I think once people have achieved success in life, they become obsessed with staying at the top. I don't think successful people spend too much time thinking about failure, but do spend the majority of time dwelling on how to stay successful. The reason one bad comment in a sea of compliments stands out in our minds is that it bothers us that someone doesn't see us as we are and for who we are.If we dwell on nothing but our failures, we will never be anything more.

Answer 2

There are loads of people who dwell on any sort of success. It doesn't matter if it is job related, house-remodellings, even playing a board game. It is unfortunate to say, but I know people like this. They were once my friends, and now I call them acquaintances.

I am in university, studying for my B.A in psych., via distant education. To them, that is a waste of time and I am wasting money on that, than rather buying a house. These people are so bloody stubborn, that they don't see the long term effects this degree can have for me and my family.

We don't have a big house, we don't own two cars, etc. Our friends like to dwell on our family as to what we don't have as opposed to what they have. They only see us(me) as a failure to my family, not a provider. Funny, because my children see me working hard and studying, I think that that is a good thing. There are times, when they say things and I have to bite my tongue, because it is all thrown into mine and my husband faces, about our failures (mind you it is all based on money and what you have).

Since this has happened, I have trained myself to think and say something positive to the situation. I have taught myself to wander away, and bring up the things that I/we have done in our lives, and that gets them to shut up. Plus, the comment from the known jerk, fades fast.

If this person is known to make rude comments, then that person is lacking something in his own life. He feels the need to say things to make him/her self feel better. The memorable comments stick more in my mind anyways. You have to think of where the comment is coming from and let it roll off your back like a duck does to water.