Can anyone tell me why the hell my soon to be ex mother inlaw is so interested in my life. Yes I am the mother of her Grandchildren but that's as far as it goes. I was married to her son for 14 years. He's buggered off with another woman and now she rings me every night wanting to know where I am, who I've seen, where I'm going, it's driving me insane. I don't want to hurt her feelings as she has had a lot of illness recently plus she has to put up with the fact that her son is a complete prat.
Please advise!
2007-06-04 02:12:22 · 24 answers · asked by Pitstop!! 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to her,. explain things she will listen im sure
2007-06-04 02:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't assume the worst, but it would pay to use misinformation with her to test her alliance. Could be one of two scenarios.
Your ex is asking her to pry info from you for his own purposes.
She feels responsible for her son's activities and wants to make sure you are as good as can be despite the circumstances.
Oh, the third possibility, she wants to maintain some civility towards you so she can still have a relationship with her grandchildren.
I know my parents live for my children. If something happened, I got divorced and lost custody of my kids....my parents would be absolutely desperate. There is nothing on this earth that pleases my parents more than their grandchildren. What would they do if they were not around anymore???? I would bet money that my mom would call my wife regularly. My wife would probably be driven insane by it.
I don't know if this is your case because there are too few details to tell.
2007-06-04 02:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by DH1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She obviously likes you and I think that she could be feeling a bit guilty for what her son has done to you. However you could try talking to her and saying that you appreciate the fact that she keeps calling on you. You never know by going around to see her and chatting to her you might find out that there is a problem and that is the reason that she keeps calling you.
The thing is you can tell her to stop calling you, because that come across as being rude. Due to this I would just go around and talk to her, tell her that she can see her grandchild whenever she wants to. And that after 14 years of being married to her son, you are ready to stand on your two feet and look after your child and make a new life for yourself. Hopefully by you saying this it will make her realise that she doesn't have to keep ringing you and that you will be fine by yourself
2007-06-04 03:15:34 · answer #3 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably really ashamed of her son and feels the need to look out for you.
Flattering really, even though it is annoying.
She does have rights to see her grandchildren so she doesn't want to ruin that relationship - she knows she has to keep you sweet in order to see them.
Why not give up one afternoon a week to have her over to see you and the kids and make it clear that only emergency phone calls will be tolerated between visits.
Poor woman is probably trying her best. Cut her some slack or you'll end up bitter and twisted.
Good luck though!
2007-06-04 05:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on now, you were married to her son for fourteen years! You became like a daughter to her; she cares about what happens to you now, and may feel some guilt that your marriage is over. Be patient with her, and re-assure her that she'll always be a part of her grandchildren's lives. Best of luck to you with your future!
2007-06-04 02:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by grandm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe your soon to be ex-mothering law feels guilty about the way her son has treated you, she might be afraid she wont have contact with her grandchildren as well, i think you need to sit her down and explain how you are feeling before anything is said the shouldn't be. good luck.
2007-06-04 02:53:42 · answer #6 · answered by jannette h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its either she feels responsible for her sons behaviour and wants to make sure that you are moving on with your life or prying into your affairs and feeding his prat of a son.
2007-06-04 02:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you probably won't like to hear this. She probably valued you and hers relationship more than you. When you get divorced from your spouse, that doesn't always mean you are getting divorced from your in laws. It is up to you. She probably truly cares about you. You act like you just were going through the motions with her. This is a very fake way of going through life, and my trick knee says, you probably went through the motions with your soon to be X-husband, which could have caused him to cheat!
2007-06-04 02:21:29 · answer #8 · answered by 345Grasshopper 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd just tell her nicely, that u feel uncomfortable talking to her about these things when u were married with her son!! Good Luck
2007-06-04 02:26:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't trust mother in laws much so just be careful what you tell her - she may be looking for reasons why her son should come get the kids from you - you know like the unfit mother type thing! Watch your back!
2007-06-04 02:27:46 · answer #10 · answered by MizzeL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she really cares and loves you, as a daughter. She sounds very caring and you are the mother of her grandchildren. Give her a chance.
2007-06-04 02:21:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋