I love my husband very much but i dont like sex, I'm not comfortable having sex, I prefer cudling and hugging, the opposite of my husband. Is there a problem with me? What should I do?
2007-06-04 00:11:35 · 17 answers · asked by potpot 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A healthy sexual relationship is a very important and wonderful thing. Is it possible that you haven't given your man enough instruction on what you like to make him a more enjoyable lover? We don't all want to have sex all the time, I know I sure don't, (an 8 mth old baby and pregnant again takes its toll) however I know that every time I do I thoroughly enjoy it. Maybe you don't have alot of body confidence, I know I lost nearly all of mine when I had my son, but I have to remember that my man still loves me and finds me sexy regardless. I think if you continue to have trouble enjoying sex you should seek professional help, because I'm sure you WANT to enjoy it.
2007-06-04 00:22:32 · answer #1 · answered by j81s79j06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
High school is over.
There is nothing wrong with requesting a bit more foreplay on the front end, but to make excuses to NOT have sex will lead to trouble.
For women sex is an act of intimacy for guys it is the release.
You are going to find that the hugging and cuddling will cease when you adopt the that's all attitude. There is nothing quite so frustrating as dealing with the "all I want is cuddling" thing.
That totally discounts what your husband wants/needs from his physical relationship with you. That is a bit selfish as is the "I don't like sex" line.
A big part of this may relate to your getting married with unrealistic expectations. Because you never saw your parents having sex did you think it did not happen frequently in a marriage? Did you think that sex was just to get him married and once done you were off the hook? Were you told for 18 years that sex is for children and little else?
It becomes obvious that there is a big disconnect between your reality and your sexuality.
If it takes therapy or just a real heart to heart with some married woman this needs to be addressed.
I think you know that or you would not be asking this here?
It may be as simple as giving in a little and releasing some control of yourself to your husband. Long and short of it most guys will have serious issues with the wife who refuses them time after time.
The Mrs, is spot on, WHY don't you like sex?
Find the key to that question and the solution is on its way.
2007-06-04 07:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey potpot,
Girlfriend lemme tell you ......there is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like maybe your husband you need to talk to your husband. Let him know that you just wanna be cuddled and kissed and have him spend quality time together. Its not that you dont like sex its just that your husband need to take time out for each other. why dont you leave him a sexy little note with a kiss or scent of your fave perfume, or make love coupons where you all share hugs, be confident and feel sexy.
2007-06-04 09:11:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What don't you like about sex? Have you ever liked sex? What is different now?
EDIT-I agree with semper. Often times lack of sex creates HUGE problems in marriage which can lead to infidelity or just plain a feeling of being unloved and a lot of resentment.
2007-06-04 07:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your husband's approach lacks tenderness. As they say, foreplay. It is what stirs the woman, ignites automatic responses. But anyway, there are women who really don't like the act for various reasons. Why don't you and your husband discuss this problem you have, maybe he has noticed and might misinterpret your lack of response or passion for something else. If you open up and tell him why you feel uncomfortable doing it, he might understand and help you.
2007-06-04 08:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by annabelle p 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for hearing that, i think the problem is simply that your husband try to fast forward things into deep intercourse so you need to tell him to take a little bit more time in foreplaying cudlling and all usuall stuff befor starting sex this way you'll more in the mood.
2007-06-04 07:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by ash 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes there is. It will destroy your marriage. Better you learn appreciating ur husbands desire. When men love a women, they feel hard on for her. If you dont respond he will think you dont love him but only intersted in marriage and his property.
Slowly he will start searching else and loose love. You can grow his love now otherwise it will be too late. Dead love can not be made alive again.
2007-06-04 07:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should talk with him about ur sex life. If u continue making excuses he'll go somwhere else to get what he needs!
Sit down, first with yourself think everything trough;
Try to find what exites u, what turns u on, u must have a swich somwhere, we all do, we r made to have sex! And enjoy it!
2007-06-04 07:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by SCULLY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plenty of women feel this way. It is up to you to rekindle that fire so that he does not take his business elsewhere. Try doing things together without the children at least once every other week. Maybe take a vacation together.
2007-06-04 07:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you like sex? What's wrong with you? Why didn't you let him know before you got married? If it's a physical thing, see a gyno. If it's psychological, get yourself to a professional FAST! Something is not right with you.
2007-06-04 07:48:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋