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i have asked so many questions in the last week that most of you probably know my situation. but here it is in brief for those of you that don't.
I have recently split from nearly a 10yr relationship. we have a daughter of 2.Me and my daughter are currently living with my pearents (hoping to get my own place in 2 wks) which is fine until the days when my pearents goes to work and my ex has our daughter over night i wake up and feel lost not knowing what to do. i have plenty of ideas housework, wash the car etc but cant get the enthusasium to acctually do it. my mind just gets to thinking about the split the future and everything else in between. so then i start feeling depressed thinking this it my future and how crap its going to be evan thou i know its not yesterday i was fine and happy and positive its the days on my own does it become easier? will i get used to it? does anyone have any tips ?

2007-06-03 22:25:03 · 10 answers · asked by kitty4 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

10 answers

Yes it gets easier if you find stuff to keep you occupied.

2007-06-03 22:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It does get easier. The doubts, fears, and even the joys are all a part of the process of healing and moving forward. Each day will bring you closer to the point in your life where you will again look forward to the promise of a new and brighter future. Let yourself go with those feelings for a bit, and then take on a new task. Even if it is simply washing your car, do it and feel even that little accomplishment. It is okay to look back, just don't dwell on it for too long.

2007-06-03 22:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0 0

it will get easier, but only in time. now, you have to stay busy. keep your mind busy, so you dont have time to think about "stuff". make yourself do all those things during the day, and chances are, the busier you are during the day, the more tired you will be at night. you need to spend some time with a friend, or 2. someone that you can talk to, and is not going to judge your feelings.

oh, and by the way, it wouldnt hurt to be all dressed nicely, have your hair done, and always look your best when you are going to be around the ex. wear the special perfume that drives him/her crazy, but dont let it be obvious that you are doing it for him/her. always try to be all smiles when you guys exchange the child. you might be surprised what kind of attention you get

2007-06-04 00:20:32 · answer #3 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0 0

I was in a very similar situation - my husband left me for another woman and we have a three year old son together. It was so awful in the beginning. I personally couldn't recommend a counsellor more - I wouldn't have made it without her (but you have to find a good one - I went to three others before her and they didn't help at all). She literally helped feel happy and positive again, when I felt like I might just jump off the balcony some days (really!). I'm doing great now - I love my life, my son and things are good. Counselling may not work for everyone, but for me - well, it made all the difference in the world. Good luck - I know exactly how you feel and I will send good thoughts your way.

2007-06-07 18:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jenm 3 · 0 0

Rejection of any kind hurts...but it does get better! Allow yourself to grieve...but only for a short time. If it has been over a month....YOUR TIME IS UP. NOW, GET MAD AND GORGEOUS! Spend some time doing what you like to do. What makes you happy. Get selfish with this. I don't care if it is a glass of wine/cheese in a bubble bath. SPOIL YOURSELF. Take time with make-up and hair. Be particular how you look when you are outside the home. TREAT YOURSELF AS SPECIAL AS YOU ARE. It will project to others that you value yourself and it will attract good people around you...including men.

THE BEST WAY TO FORGET ANY MAN IS TO GET 3. ONE TO TALK WITH OPENLY, ONE TO TAKE YOU OUT AND ONE TO HAVE MAD SEX WITH.

Still be a good mom of course and never allow any man in her life till you know it is very, very serious and right for a long term relationship. BUT HAVE SOME FUN, BECAUSE ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. NOW, GO GET SOME!

This new attitude that your ex has done you a favor to allow someone right for you to come along is a blessing. Thank God it did not take 11 years.

2007-06-03 22:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Go with the flow. Try to keep your kids happy and spend time with your friends more. Support your children in everything they do. It will be hard on them also. Time heals all wounds. It's a gradual feeling of becoming one again instead of two. As the days pass you will find yourself becoming more and more dependant upon yourself for happiness. This is why you need to stay busy. Try to replace all negative feelings with positive ones each day. Good Luck

2007-06-03 22:40:25 · answer #6 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0 0

It's whatever you make it. If you want to enjoy life, this could happen. If you want to feel sorry for what has happened and become depressed, that's what will happen.

You have total control. You have to lift your spirits. Get your self pride, dignity, respect, value and strength back. It will change as time goes on. This isn't your future. This is just a bad time in your life. We all have them. You could make it so much better, especially for your daughter.

I wish you all the luck.

2007-06-03 22:44:15 · answer #7 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0 0

I have been through this. It gets easier as time passes.
All I did for me to get over this hump is to think what has been happening, what just happened and what will happen in the future. I realized that it wasn't worth it, I don't deserve to be treated that way and I allowed it to happen to me. I accepted everything in my heart. Decide that it was time for me to prove to myself that i am worth more than how i was treated. After that, everything seems to be a lot easier. I realized, My daughter needs me more. Now, doing very well emotionally and financially. (Financially well-off than my ex)

2007-06-03 22:46:07 · answer #8 · answered by Zail-Em 2 · 0 0

u have to take it one day at a time, it will get easier as time goes by, but there will be days where you will feel depressed and lost. just try to keep busy, get a network of friends who are supportive and non judge mental. just know that the grief process takes time but is necessary for being able to move forward in life.

2007-06-03 23:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0 0

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2016-11-25 21:02:46 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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