Being nice...?

Question

I try my very best to put others before myself, not to complain about things and be very selfless. I go out of my way.

Recently i've just been rubbished for everything I do. I feel so unappreciated. I'm begining to ask myself why I should bother.

Helping people and seeing the reward use to make it all worth while. But now it's actually bring me down.

What should I do?

kellybuckelew2000- Thank you, but my parents have no influence on my behaviour. If I let my parents influence my choices I would be a self-centered bigot, to put it lightly.

Answer 1

Good evening, Wabby.

When I was a little kid, particularly at your age, I used to do the same thing. I put others before me and satisfied their wants.

My friends would be remembered on their birthday's and special occasions. I would also visit their houses to accompany them. I would use my car, my hard earned gas money, and take them to places they demanded. I was their favorite little slave, for they remembered me not when they should have.... I was not invited to my so-what-call best friend's birthday party, but of course all his other friends were invited. This female friend of mine was sponsored by me ultimately in almost every circumstances, but I wasn't the one she choose to date... The only time they would call me on the phone was if they needed to go somewhere, or to borrow $5 to $50. I never wanted to end my friendship with them because I needed friends, too. But I decided to open my eyes to see that I never really had a friend.

My paycheck at that age was $600 a month, and I would spend it all on my friends just to keep them happy and to show them that I care... Unfortunately, I was greatly in need of help, and none of those who I cared for did help me. They all came up with excuses and refused to help. After I got back on my feet, I decided to live for myself alone. I decided to stop living for people. I decided to enjoy my life. I decided to compliment myself. I decided to keep myself to myself until someday a girl walks into my life so I would marry her and start being their for my own family. Honestly, it was the greatest decision I ever made in my entire life.

Results:

I was free.

I could save.

I was no longer a slave.

I was no longer bothered.

I don't have to lend my money anymore, which I never got back anyways.

And I became a person, a resonable person.

Try not to live for others, ok? It won't work. Not even your own child you should live for. As soon as your child grows wings and ready to fly, kick him/her out of the nest and tell him/her to find his/her own life now.

Dad.

Answer 2

Wabby, you must try to find balance in your life but more importantly be true to yourself.Everyone is not going to appreciate your efforts so you must be happy with your choices.At some point in time you must put yourself first, that does not mean to ignore the needs of others.We can care about others without losing ourselves or our ideals.Look up the lyrics to Garth Brooks song "The Change" it is an inspiration and will give you perspective on life and your ideals.Never lose site of the fact you are important too!

Answer 3

Good for you, don't ever change.
There will always be mean spirited people out there, you know what is in your heart, it sounds as if you were brought up to be a loving and caring person. And that is so special!
That speaks volumes about your parents ......good luck to you and I for one hope you never change or become hardened.
Sometimes we get discouraged and it seems like people take, take, take, but somewhere along the way, you have and will help someone, who just needed that good word or deed,and it made all the difference in their life.

Answer 4

I know what you mean; I have helped people that later turn out to be totally ungrateful. Sometime people just forget that you are doing a "favor" and that is not your "job" to help them.

Some people just don't deserve to be helped. They forget so easily. I have even heard in the news about people being killed by the same people they were helping (homeless, addicts, or even normal-looking-people). And that's really sad.

It's good to help people but just remember that you can't save them all. Be more selective on who you help and put your time and energy on those who really deserve and appreciate your time and effort.

Answer 5

Get down off the cross honey, we all have bad days, even you saints. When your a mother of young adults you'll really feel unappreciated. I did meet one lady who absolutely took every ones garbage, we had very crabby old clients, hit and cursed like sailors, yet this gal bowed like a servant, even recooking their bacon to specified correctness, and carried a banana peel across a large lawn jn pouring rain to the garbage can, I'm sure she was a saint, (unforgetable!)

Answer 6

People like you are hard to come by these days. Don't turn to the "its all about me" dark side that rules the world now. You're gonna meet a thousand of these ungreatful beings but the ones the show gratitude to you will make it worth it. Fight the good fight.

Answer 7

It sounds like the people in question are taking you for granted.
Do what suits you so you are happy, but I have a feeling it is in your nature to give your support to others.
Make the most of life, we all have our ups and downs.
Remember the good times and don't dwell on the past.

Answer 8

It's good to be nice, but you really shouldnt let people walk over you. If you are too nice and dont speak up for yourself, people will take advantage of that. Whoever is bothering you, not appreciating you, ect, just let them know, and let them know you wont tolerate it anymore.

Answer 9

Well, I think its time to stand your ground and let people know that you arn't going to be nice to them unless they treat you with the respect you deserve. If they don't then it their fault, not yours.

Answer 10

do a few things for yourself!