My husband constantly puts his family above me and I'm sick and tired of it. It's like I don't exsist. He doesn't seem to understand that I go above everyone, how can I let him know that without a fight. I've tried speaking to him and it doesn't work. Any suggestions?
2007-06-03 18:57:03 · 14 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He wasn't like that when we were dating. I was everything, most of his time he was with me, rarely with his family so how its my fault?!
2007-06-03 19:06:56 · update #1
He treats his mother good but he doesn't treat me the same. It's like he respects everyone but me.
2007-06-03 19:09:19 · update #2
we're from the same culture, and we all know the wife goes first, had I known he wouldnt put me first I wouldve never married him.
2007-06-03 19:10:34 · update #3
I would appreciate some real advice. If you're not married and don't understand then don't bother advicing. There's no wife in earth that doesn't want to be first and thats the way it should be! Period!
2007-06-03 19:44:23 · update #4
I have talked to him about it, even showed him all I've done for him but still nothing works.
2007-06-03 20:29:48 · update #5
had this problem but my husband joined the army and the sarg told him i was number one.... you need to tell him that marriage mean family even if yall dont ahve kids and if he can't start to put you first then he wasn't ready to get married speak up for yourself
2007-06-03 19:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by ocliz4lyfe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him understand anything if he doesn't want to. You went into this knowing how it was... so this is your fault. You ignored this aspect of his behavior thinking that when you got married some magic would happen and he would focus on you.
All you can do is learn to deal if you want your marriage to work. You can keep trying to talk to him in a loving and understanding way, but if he gets upset then you are at an impasse.
You made your vows, for better or worse. Here's the worse. You can learn to handle this, it's only fair, you married him this way.
2007-06-04 02:02:39 · answer #2 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He still needs to spend time with his family. How would you feel about him as a person if he turned his back on his mom, brother, sister, etc. When a family member is in need family steps up. That's what we do. Did you turn your back on your family when you got married? The judge of a good man is how he treats his mom. If he treats her like dirt you turn and run the other way. He is being a good son.
2007-06-04 02:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds more like a princess who doesn't get her way all the time. Why must you be number 1 or "above everyone"? That's women's unilateral thinking. Respect is earned, not granted.
Both parties put up a nice front to get the other side hooked. So don't just blame it on him.
2007-06-04 02:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knew this before you got married. Don't try to change the picture now. You can suggest counseling, but if you accepted a backseat during your engagement, then don't expect the front seat now.
I know the wife is to take priority, but you should have gotten that out in the open before you said I do. But don't pit him against his family. It sucks to have to disappoint your mother because your wife is being petty.
2007-06-04 02:05:38 · answer #5 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your family and desires first. He will get the message when you remind him that he knows how important it is to do for family.
The bad part is that you knew he was this way before you married him and now you want to change the rules. NAW HONEY! He will continue to take you for granted as long as you let him. ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. SO GO GET IT GIRL. DO YOU CONTINUE TO CATER TO HIM AS YOUR FAMILY? MEN REALIZE THINGS BETTER WHEN WE SHOW THEM, RATHER THAN NAG A LOT ABOUT IT. Good Luck.
2007-06-04 03:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky, tricky, tricky. Sounds like he's real close to to the family of his birth, which isn't a bad thing. There's a big gap between you don't exist and you come before everyone. Are you somewhere in the middle? That wouldn't be so bad, would it?
2007-06-04 02:04:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you mean siblings and parents? Or do you mean kids? If it's the first and he doesn't get that you have a lot of trouble ahead of you--how was this when you were dating. If it's the second one then sorry you don't get to be first. You should be a close second but you don't get to be first.
2007-06-04 02:03:05 · answer #8 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant really say anything to him he should already know that when he marry you his wife come before everyone, but
it sound lke he need to get counseling to deal with the fact
that he has a new family his wife.
2007-06-04 02:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take my advice if you want him to treat you as first treat him
as a special persone flirt with him and talk to him about your feelings he will understand.
2007-06-04 03:22:17 · answer #10 · answered by simi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋