Why am I trying to get the guy I'm crushing on to go out with a girl? Does that make sense?

Question

I like this guy (who'll be 'called' Z in this question).

I've known Z for nearly 1/2 my life (I'm 13 now; 14 in a few months). I've never really known him to like many girls, but nor have I known him to like ANY guys. I like him (Z) a lot. He's my best friend, and I'm not sure what it's like to love anyone outside your family, but if I did he'd be the one of them. Although we're great as friends, I'm not sure what we'd be like as a couple. He's always bettered me, as I the same for him. But taking it to that level (bf/bf) could complicate things. I feel as if maybe he had a girlfriend I'd be less obliged to like him the way I do. I also think that if he had a girlfriend I'd never have to worry about us going out. He's a great guy (really) and any girl would love him...I have soo many mixed feelings about the whole predicament, and so many things could change between our relationship since we're going to HighSchool for our first year once break is over; same HighSchool though.

I guess I don't actually have a specific question. I just wanted some advice on what you might do, and what you think of the situation.

No flames please....

Oh well... I think I already mentioned it, but, I AM indeed going to highschool once summer break is over, so waiting until highschool is not an excuse; although it'd be our 1st year going anyways.

I'm basically looking for PROS AND CONS of getting him a girlfriend.

BTW- I'd make sure she's a good girl he can enjoy and not some random... if I did try to hook him up..





THANKS FOR ALL YOUR ANSWERS THUS FAR.....

PLEASE CONTINUE !!

Answer 1

"I've known Z for nearly 1/2 my life (I'm 13 now; 14 in a few months)"...LMAO

---DigitalGooDNess---

Answer 2

Why? Because you're 13 going on 14. Therefore, you're--very reasonably--scared of sex at the same time you're fascinated by it. In this respect you're like most of the other guys your age in this country, gay or str8.
If Z becomes your boyfriend, it creates a very real possibility of sex for you--greater than for a str8 boy with a girlfriend, partly because there's no chance that either of you will get pregnant (and a low but not 0% chance that he'll give you AIDs). Moreover, there's a lot better chance that your best friend will say yes to ANY request from you (even this) than that most girls will have sex with a 13yo guy.
You've thought of a way to remove that sex possibility, thus reducing your anxiety, so that way looks good.
And let's be honest, not PC: If Z is str8, the world is going to throw him a lot less grief than if he's gay or bi. That's another reason the get-him-a-GF plan looks attractive to you--loving somebody means wanting what's good for them.
Now you know why you want Z to have a GF.
I don't need to tell you why you want Z as a BF.
Finally, let me point out that even if Z is basically str8, if he's as sexually mature as you are, then he's also basically horny. In that situation, Z might well be willing to let you give him sex, even tho he'll never love you as a BF--or Z may have too much respect for himself, or too much dislike for gay sex, to make that possible. If you're willing to have Z as a "friend with benefits," you may want to find out. But if YOU have too much respect for yourself to do that . . . good, man!
If you do ever have sex with Z or any other boy, use protection or stick to safer sex unless you are utterly certain that you're both virgins. Even at 13 a guy *could* have been molested by, or even had consensual sex with, somebody with AIDS or some other STD. Even the milder diseases are nasty, and you do NOT want to be asking this board how a 13yo boy can get treatment for one!
P.S. I have no idea why Digital Goodness thinks that sentence is so very funny--and I'm about 60. Of course, I don't even think that a 7yo saying "when I was little" is *really* funny. Humorous, maybe, in both cases, but not LMAO!

Answer 3

Just be a young person and enjoy life, there will be time for boys/men LATER, say in High School or College!!! Your just 13, wait for another 2/3 years and see what happens. I think you just have a "hero" crush which is something most guys (yes, even straight ones about certain athletes) get. Not that your not gay, I do believe you are, you just sound to sure. But, by waiting what could be messed up by youth and inexperience could be something beautiful in a few years.

Other than that, your only other option is to come clean about yourself liking guys and see how HE reacts. If he likes the idea or not. Your just going to have to make a decision on what this relationship is worth to you and what you want to risk and when.

Good luck, and I hope you do the right thing.

Answer 4

Maybe you are trying to find if he prefers boys or girls better and by trying to set him up with a girl you think you'll find out?

Maybe you are nervous about having a first relationship, especially the kind of relationship that is often ridiculed by others in society?

Maybe you are a bit insecure and think he's too good for you or that you'll never have the relationship you want with him?

Maybe you are afraid of him rejecting you in that sense and ruining the friendship you have?

I dunno you or the circumstances it would be hard to say exactly what it is. Seems you've thought this through (which is impressive for being 13 years old, sometimes 30 year olds don't think about their relationships this much). Good luck figuring it out, I hope it all works out for you! :)

Answer 5

I had a similar situation... and for me, looking back on it, the only thing I ever wanted was for him to be happy -whether it be with me or someone else. And since he was straight, it was with someone else. So, no matter how much I loved him, I pushed him to be with girls who made him happy. Its a really difficult situation -well it was for me- and it was a time when i wished i could bite the bullet and let go of my emotions. But that is a lot harder than it sounds sometimes. But, telling him will make the situation easier for you, because you wont have to lie to him and yourself about who you really are.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

I think you should tell z how you feel about him. Just let him know. It will make you feel way better! Trust me! If you worry about you going out thats all you will think about. BUT, dont get hopes to high because if you dont get accepted it could hurt. bad. I know

Answer 7

This usually never works out. Once in the friend zone always in the friend zone. Just let it pan out and see what happens if you tell him you like him and he's not gay you might scare him off. Be very careful.

Answer 8

I'm not exactly sure what you want answered...lol.

But if it's if you should tell him or not, I think you should go for it. If he's a true friend, he won't bail on you.

Good luck.

Answer 9

just wait till hes drunk off his *** and take advantage of him
thats how i dooo

Answer 10

damn it grow up and tell him you like him.