My 12 year old daughter has had the same boyfriend off and on for a year. He was always pushing her to kiss him but she wasn't ready. Well, I think today she had her first kiss with him, maybe more than one! What should be my next step with her...should I just talk about the kiss or go much farther? I feel like she's crossed the threshold and who knows what's next? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Please help me figure out what to do next...I feel sick to my stomach. Please be nice.
2007-06-03 13:51:42 · 32 answers · asked by Mustang Sally 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well...I'm almost 16 and my mom is the one who is VERY overprotected....she doesnt let me do anything, she freaks out when a boy calls me...(not to much anymore) but i know i got my first kiss when i was 12 and it wasnt cause it was something i really really wanted, it was just cause my mom really didnt want me to do and made a big deal about it. And its just something about younger kids...when somebody doesnt want them to do something...it makes them want to do it even more. I bet you have a good Daughter and i highly doubt she'll go any further. I would just talk to her about it, and be more of her friend. Inless you start having thoughts and getting clues that shes doing more, then i would put a stop to the relationship....hope i helped. : ) Wish you the best of luck!
2007-06-03 14:04:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm a 12 year old and my parents are the same as you making a big deal out of stuff, but I learned that we're just growing up, and that's the process that we go through we have a boyfriend on and off, and then might even have our first kiss with them, but don't make a big deal of it, it's ordinary for kids our age.
Also my parents already had the talk with me, and gave me warnings of what boys might say to me, to get me to do things with them, so definitely the talk with her, also if you don't feel comfortable talking to her about the talk, at my school in 6th grade they have sex ed., and so see when her school is doing that!
2007-06-03 14:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by Princezz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm twelve years old and I haven't even considered datin till I'm at least 16 but I do know that the more you have the awkward conversation the less she'll want to talk to you about it. I'd say let her come to you and then if she doesn't after awhile then just gradually bring it up in a conversation. Just let her know that you trust her and know she's a good daughter. Then she'll feel too guilty to disapoint you by going any further than kissing. Hope I helped!
2007-06-03 14:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by ChocolateEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Mom, this is a little young. I think you must have the "further talk". Unfortunately children see many things regarding sex and relationships much too early. She may have an inaccurate depiction in her mind. You may want to talk with her and keep the lines of communication open. You can always talk to this young man's parents as well.
Be sure to set limits on your daughter. Remember if you forbid something/someone then they are much more likely to want it. It is best to discuss and set limits. Be open with this young man too. Obviously, he has influence over your daughter or she would not have kissed him back. It takes two, one to do it and one to allow it to happen.
If it makes you sick, you know it is too early. Trust your instincts and offer other alternatives. (Why don't you two be friends? How about going out to play basketball- I'll come with you? Let me take you roller skating- be with them and let their time be watched.
....Parenting is never done. You just need to be more clever than your child. Best of Luck....
2007-06-03 13:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by Helene C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 ways you can look at this...
1) She's 12, relax! Everyone has their first crush and kiss sometime, she's just growing up, and it's something you have to deal with. If you feel the need to talk to her, put yourself in her shoes: how awkward would YOU feel if your mom asked you if you kissed that boy you like? =] A kiss is harmless, but keep it at that.
2) This could be the first signs of peer pressure on your daughter. If this boy bullied her into doing it, or you feel she was uncomfortable, you should talk with her and check in to make sure it's something SHE wanted to do and wasn't forced into doing. Make sure that she made the choice SHE wanted to.
Cheers,
Joe
2007-06-03 13:56:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
well n ow days most girls are getting their first kissed from 12-14 you need to realize its normal and maybe talk to her, just ask her if it happened but dont get mad.. make sure she knows not to go any further or she will get in troble but an occasional kiss is fine if she really does like him.. let her know though at school people will spread rummors so kissing may n ot be the best idea. just dont get mad cuz it really is normal and if she's liked him for a year thats pretty good that she hasn't kissed him untilnow, she obviously felt ready, just make sure nothing else does happen!
2007-06-03 16:13:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sick to your stomach? Me too! 12 yrs old and a boyfriend? I have a 12 yr old daughter I could not imagine allowing this at 12!
She should not be dealing with these kind of pressures at this age! You need to put a stop to it now!
2007-06-03 15:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a sign that your daughter is unfortunatly not a lilttle girl anymore. Im not trying to make it sound like im telling you what to do, because its your daughter, and its non of my business what you do. But here is some advice.
Okay when I turned 12 my mom let me have my first girl boy party. When the party was about to end my friend asked if we wanted to play spin the bottle and of course I had never kissed a boy so I thought heres my chance. Well we started, it was my turn and I landed on this kid Nate, well just as me and Nate were about to finish our little smooch my mom walked out and FLIPPED OUT, all of the people at my party had to go home early and I got grounded for 1 week.
I talked to my mom about it like two days later and she told me she wasn't ready for me to grow up yet and she still wanted me to be her baby girl, and I explained to her that im more mature now and that you should trust my judgement. I still was grounded but after that my mom and dad were both okay with me doing grown up things. I was so happy that my parents finally were treating me like a young adult.
I know this story was long but I hoped it helped. It supossed to say that I know that your a concerned parent, so are most parents, and your just trying to lead your daughter in the right path, but I wouldn't go far from just talking cause thats what parents are there for, to guide and lead their children in the right direction. I hope this LONG story helped. GOOD LUCK!!
Glad to Help
Peace&Love
<3
2007-06-03 14:32:09 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ kels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your 12 yr old aloud to have a boyfriend anyway? A crush is totally different from a boyfriend. I had my first kiss when i was around 12. I wasn't aloud to date till i was 17 but my step dad was over protective.
2007-06-03 15:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As-Salamu Alakyum ♥ Subhan'Allah. You daughter must be truly LOVED by Allah. You should never be worried of her acts.......... Since they all deal within the guidlines of Islam ♥♥ You should actually be extremely happy that you have a daughter like this. Now. About her telling you that you need to be close to Allah. She must have been told in some way or form................. Especially becuse afterwards you had a dream about this?!?! She might have had a dream and was told that you were in need to get closer to your Lord. Are you close to Allah? Do you pray? Do you give zak'aat? Mash'Allah. That is beutiful.... May Allah give me daught exactly like her ♥♥♥ Tell me how things turn out to be habeeti :) May Allah Guide Us All To The Striaght Path ♥
2016-05-20 06:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋