My mother enjoys hurting my father!! help?

Question

My mother treats my dad awfull, and my dad love her so much, he doesnt want to leave her! he cries because she treats him like ****, they both are old, my dad is around 80, she insult him all the time.. she enjoys when he has to pay for evertything even the fact she earns more money ... if we correct her she start to cry and say that we are mean daughters.. and my dad does not want to leave her! Help!!

Answer 1

He's stuck in a rut. I've been there and the only way it got better was her to be finished with me! He has to make it intolerable to live with him to do that and it sounds like he's willing to do everything to please her! If that's the case, then treat him with great respect for being that loyal to her, because that is hard to come by, even If she dosen't appreciate it. Make your relationship with him as special as you can and send him away with lots of love, because he is a wonderful man! A man to remember!

Answer 2

I agree with Will S.

It's terrible that your father has to bear the emotional brunt of the lopsided relationship. But it is obvious that he does love her, and that he's extremely loyal to her and takes the marriage seriously. These are the signs of a strong individual. Who knows what your mother is going through internally to cause her to behave like this (maybe just the stresses of old age, or falling into a bad rut - or maybe she's afraid and feels vulnerable, and has discovered that being angry makes her feel a bit more empowered), but seeing how emothionally manipulative she's being, I think it's safe to say that your father is the one in control of the situation, not your mother.

I think it would mean a lot to your dad for you to let him know that you admire and respect him for being willing to be the strong one in the relationship right now. and for his loyalty and unfaltering love for your mother. You might be surprised at how much easier it would make things for him if he felt that someone recognized what he was trying to do. He wouldn't feel so alone.

My heart goes out to him - but also my admiration.

Answer 3

looking at their age, i think they have a long relationship already, but i cant get the point why your mom would treat your father as that.. do they have personal issues that your mom has to hurt your dad like this? if she has, then, she's getting her point.. if not, then you as a daughter, should probably find out why. is it their old age thing? or your mom just enjoys this kind of fun? maybe your mom has personal issues or problems and she couldn't deal it with herself, instead of that, she blames it all on your father. i hope your mom and dad will settle up soon. i'm sure your dad wont leave her, because that's love. don't worry, i think asking them both to confront the problem would help.

Answer 4

Let me start with your father-he appears to be a masochist, even if he still loves your mother.Now your mother appears to be the opposite- - a sadist, and believe it or not, may actually love your father but is self-centered based on her re-actions to your corrections.From your fathers' age(I suppose your mother is about the same), this is a relationship that they both have accepted; maybe even enjoy for quite a while. At this point ,there is nothing any of you can do to change them.Try to console your father when he is hurting;that is about all you can do.

Answer 5

okie dokie. you're mother is a hypocrit big time. She needs some type of therapy or something. Try talking to her again and keep going no matter what she says or does. Another method that's seems to be proven helpful and effective is video taping. try video taping the way she acts and treats him. most of the time when people do this and show someone, they can actually see how they are acting.

Has you're father ever tried to talk to her? and tell her how HE feels about it?

i hope this has helped some. if it doesnt.. i recomend dr. phil =)

Answer 6

Pamper your dad and show him your love. Do the same with your mother. At their age, I can't see you changing the situations. But you can show your love for your parents and I think that a loving daughter can be a real comfort to your dad. I'll be honest, I think it's fairly normal to have one out of control, selfish parent in the family.

Answer 7

thats why faith is BS. i myself had to study the solutions of believers, yet there exchange into only one, and its no ask your self : "get a faith so your mom feels extra efficient" WTF !? shall we see : as i'm instructed, god is all understanding, so he would be conscious of you're nonetheless an Atheist, even you "have been given" a faith. real ? So it won't trick god, the Atheist son remains going to hell. Now, the mummy could be conscious of as nicely, that god can't be tricked, and he or she could be conscious of, that her son did not incredibly grew to alter right into a believer - so she could nonetheless not relish heaven i think. and that i think extra, she does not even relish life, understanding her son is gonna finally end up in hell. wow, what a BS faith is.

Answer 8

at that age there is nothing to do. they have been doing this so many years that she does not see where she is wrong. i would try and keep them apart unless someone is thee ts help her not be ugly to him. it is hard when the parents become like kids and the rolls changes .

Answer 9

If he's almost 80 then he's old enough to know he doesn't HAVE to put up with it.

Answer 10

Wow!! She sounds angry. Talk to her and your father separately. Unless it gets physical there is really nothing you can do. I'm sorry to hear that.