Why don't people just be honest about their intentions?

Question

Do you remember those teen years when your parents lectured you? When they said "I'm not lecturing you. It's not my intention to make you feel bad." So you open up, hoping it will be an ordinary conversation with discreetly placed advice, not insults that make you want to cry. And it does go well, until, right before they shut the door, they say something like "I'd hate to see someone with so much potential to ruin it all by making wrong decisions." that sort of comments very purpose is to crush you, to make you feel like absolute crap! Why don't people just say "I might be insulting you here, and I might be lecturing you a little bit, but it's for your own good that I lecture and insult you."Why aren't people honest about their intentions and what they mean? When people try to be something they're not and try to mean something they don't, it just makes them look like hypocrites. I remember feeling like I had no role models because they all said one thing and acted in another way. Why?

Answer 1

The best of therapists and religious heads are themselves poor parents when it comes to bringing up their own children or behaving with friends. A doctor cannot treat his own family properly and confidently as well as he does his best to an outsider. So is the case with a parent or a person who has ultimate responsibility for the good of a child (say mentee/ protégé). Due to their that ‘ looked up to status and feeling, they take it granted of their youngster and inferiors and tend to think that whatever they think as best for them is good enough and likewise not understood by the said wards for their good or bad (sometimes even bad is good in certain circumstance in the best experience of the elders-some things can not be just explained by anybody to everybody- the usual monologue you here everywhere) and there is no need as such for being too diplomatic about it or getting all the gear and care like wearing kid's gloves when dealing with them.

By know the writer is taken as a person past the prime and you are right. I don’t want to pretend. I parent a 23year child. Moreover it is parents 24/7, /365 days job. (It is not like greeting someone at his or her son’s or daughter’s wedding reception- a brief transitory moment of social grace and show off). The children continue to be part of flesh and blood of parents until they are so vexed to abandon them like animal do from the beginning (mostly right after birthing)
Unfortunately the youngsters are taking umbrage or bad at the impromptu remarks and get hurt and put themselves on the downhill gradient. Not all parents are sophisticated to learn how to talk with their children (they are nicer with children's friends though) and the younger generation are also are not adept in showing enough respect or try to understand their parents in right perspective as they are growing in life.
Here there is an ultimate and profound truth to learn and a few understand this.
A child of two years loves its parents for what they are and as it grows and gains in knowledge it has to prove to the world, including the parents, that by understanding them differently they can, at each stage, would prove they are really growing as otherwise they feel (also their advisor and peers) they are not growing and at a certain stage at the slightest chiding you can find them turning rebels.
Besides the parents, it is always handy for the children and youth to have the right role models around, also in divergent groups of such models to choose from. But it is chimera.
Another unfortunate incapacity youngsters have is, God to them is so distant as they think, than their mentors and have thus no comfort there too. So I don’t envy growing up and for that matter no one is surely -not grown enough- in one’s own lifetime.

Answer 2

Do I consider you're a nasty character? I do not know you, so I cannot say. Do I consider you've got sincere intentions? Possibly. Do I consider what you're doing is correct? No. Bottom line is, how do you turn out temperment and wellbeing? I recognize a ton of folks who consider their puppy is superb and must be bred, whilst in realtity, there are disorders with the puppy. People generally tend to overlook the unhealthy tendencies considering we adore the well ones such a lot. If you a minimum of do the correct wellbeing tests, then its now not as unhealthy. Doing vet tests at the dogs isn't ample or consistent vet assessments at the moms and dads aren't ample, I am speakme hips, eyes some thing genetic disorders plague your puppy. My private opinion is that puppies must be bred for a intent, in my opinion for what they had been orginally meant for. Breeding must be reaping rewards the breed and real to the breed usual. The method you turn out that is via titles. I consider a breeder must have a organization grab at the genetics concerned as there are lots of sicknesses which can be recessive. You must recognize what your strains bring. A breeder must have a quite recognize the breed within and out and recognize the fine details of breeding BEFORE breeding, now not at the same time it is occurring. Health tests are a have got to. Spay/neuter contracts until viable breeding clients and a accountable breeder must be inclined to take again the puppy at any time in its lifestyles. There are greater than ample "puppy: pleasant" puppies from each good deliberate clutter that there's no must breed puppy pleasant. ------------------------- ADD Lucy L- neutering is unnatural? Do you observe that domesticated puppies have extra heats than wolves considering of human involvement. Do you additionally recognize that domesticated puppies are much less selective in who and after they breed with than their historical loved ones? Again considering of human have an impact on on their species. In the wild, lower than part of the ladies in warmness will also enable the breeding approach. If puppies had been left to themselves, the populace could spiral out of manage.

Answer 3

Apparently the truth is too gruesome for people to hear, so they invent all kinds of ways to beat around the bush. I guess there is a "let you down easy" sort of mentality among humans, which is (as you pointed out) why people act exactly the way you say. They seem to think the truth will hurt less if they don't just straight up tell you like it is. I agree with you, its total BS and wastes all of our time and energy.

Answer 4

Not everyone is a born super therapist with all the answers. We are all human and we all make mistakes.

The best advice I ever received was... "Trust yourself"

If you think about it there are a few different ways of interpreting that. If you figure out the intended message you gain knowledge.

Answer 5

I don't understand having intentions. When you're close to Death all the time you just do what you have to. Intending to survive isn't really an -intention-. That would be planned out etc. Scheming. It is impossible to not be myself. My self doesn't have intentions. It is; and you might not like it and you devise intentions to avoid it.

(subconsciously inspired by Da Free John)

Answer 6

Speech is the worst way to communicate. It doesn't quite come out the way it was ment to. The feeling was there, but the words weren't right.
Sorry you had such caring parents, who just didn't say what you wanted to hear.
Don't worry, your kids'll feel the same way about you, even if you think you're doing it right, they'll find something to say about you too!
So suck it up princess.LOL

Answer 7

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. It would be good for someone to say what they mean and mean what they say- but I have yet to find anyone that really does adhere to that old adage.

Answer 8

Ditch them like yesterday's trash. If they are family, create a new family with people who share your values.

Surround yourself with people who have the capacity to be honest.

Answer 9

most people lie to help prevent to hurt other but it is quit evident that they are lien and it only makes maters worse

Answer 10

The reason is that we teach best what we need to learn!