I have been living with a guy that I really love for 3 years and we have known each other for 6 years. He says he loves me all the time and that he wants to get married. He is a great guy in a lot of ways. But he hasn't gotten me a ring or made any plans with me. He makes excusses about not having enough money. I need to know how long I should wait or how do I know if hes not really serious.
2007-06-03 12:56:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Six years? You've waited long enough and heard enough excuses. Move on or you'll find yourself asking this question six more years from now. A mature man knows what he wants and goes for it. You sound like you just want to be married no matter to whom as long as you think you love them. All wrong.
2007-06-03 13:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with many of the contributors. The "cow and milk" thing is very true too. So it's all up to you. Do you think you can wait another 3 years (if not 6) before he finally take you down the aisle (if he ever!). The truth is, he is complacent with what he has now. If you have "marriage" in your head, then you really have to take a drastic action: tell him about what you want OR leave him. If he really loves you and WANT you, he will act accordingly. Well, if he's still the same old one, then, I think...he's just using you, passing his time! Sorry to say that, but honestly, you SHOULD have a serious talk with him, now! Good luck.
2007-06-03 13:20:22 · answer #2 · answered by ni2penang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard the saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. I don't mean to be disrespectful to you but he has become comfortable with things the way they are and he will not make a serious commitment to you until you do one of two things 1. give him and ultimatum or 2. move out. I suggest that you sit down with him because he has been with you long enough to know if he wants to marry you or not and if you are seeking marriage then talk with him about it and let him know that you are not his bed buddy and you expect more from the relationship and no more excuses he either wants to marry you are not. As hard as it is to do you may have to walk away or if its your place you may have to ask him to leave because you want more from the relationship and if he is not willing to give you your heart desires which is to be married then you need to open yourself up to meet new people and find someone that can give you what you need in a relationship. I have seen it before and he will continue to be your roommate forever if you allow it to continue to happen. Good luck to you and whatever you decide to do, stick with your decision and see if through it will be hard but pray about and get with your friends for support and you will probably need to lean on them but you can make it. good luck to you
2007-06-03 13:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by Pegi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you have already waited three years too long. Your clue should have been in the wanting to shack up and not get married then. At that point, three years dating would have been the prime time to get married. However, now he doesn't want to or need to get married - it has NOTHING to do with money. It's obvious that it's not serious on his part - you want marriage and he doesn't, or he would have asked long ago. Again, sorry, but you two are not a match.
2007-06-03 13:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you and you love him don't worry about putting it on paper yet. If he is being honest and it's a money situation, it may help budget some money into a savings for this purpose. It's a little different when you bring children into the picture. For now, enjoy and keep lovin each other. If he's serious he will agree to the savings for this purpose and follow through with the plan.
Good Luck
2007-06-03 13:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't take much money to get a marriage license and go the the judge and get married legally. Seems he is wanting his milk for free and not up to buying the cow. (Not that you are a cow, but think about it). Wouldn't a man that loved you WANT to marry you?
2007-06-03 16:40:57 · answer #6 · answered by ~Casper~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say watch what he DOES, not listen to his words.
When a man loves a woman, he will do just about anything to be with her and marry her if marriage is important to her.
Sounds to me like he's OK with things the way they are right now. You are playing house....so why should he bother and marry you? Good luck.....
2007-06-03 13:07:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depends on a lot of things, Hon.
Is he important enough to you that you're willing to wait?
My husband and I were together for three years before we got married: it gave us a lot of time to really get to know one another, and that's not a bad thing. (We've been married 26 years!)
Since he says he loves you---and he wants to get married at some point----I'd take him at his word. You don't need a ring to be committed to one another, Hon.
.....And....there's nothing saying that you can't be the one to propose if you think he's being a bit pokey about it! ;)
2007-06-03 13:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cannot push guys when it comes to this. When he is ready he will ask. He may not be able to give you a time frame either. Don't play games, be honest about what you want and you decided how long you will wait for him.
2007-06-03 13:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by ilmfs3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. Turns out that after seven years that we were together, he never once proposed. I just found out he cheated on me. Even though marriage is not a guarantee this wont happen it is a sign that they are commited to you and no one else.
2007-06-03 13:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by Shoegal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋