hepl me please?

Question

Should I break up?
my gf told me that she doesnt have to appreciate me because I live in her house but she says that I should I should appreciate everything she does. she also says that cooking is not her responsibility and she shouldnt have to feel obligated to have sex with me. Her mom is always dipping into our relationship and its making me sick. Ive been raising her kids for 5 years and now that the real dad wants to step up, she feels that I should roll with it and continue doing my part as their fake dad. She says that since I live here, its my responsibility. help please

Answer 1

Sound to me like you gf lacks commitment that is very important in a relationship. I don't know how well-off you are economically but you need to move out from her mom's house. This way she wont get involved in your relationship. You are obviously in love with girl because if these kids are not yours and your not married--you really don't have to stick around. I know and understand how attach the kids become to that person who's there for them day in and day out but the responsibility falls on the mother. This is a tough position in be in... Oh by the way, there is no such thing as a fake dad for five years you have been these kids father figure, so eventhough you are not there biological father, you are technically their father. Anyone can bring a child in to this world, but he who deals child is the true father. Your gf doesnt now how fortunate she is to have you around most males wont have anything to with any body else's kids. I feel you might be better off leaving relationship.

Answer 2

You said your girlfriend right. Naturally she's gone be defensive it it's her house you're living in. The only help you need is for someone to point the door out to you. Unfortunately she has the upper hand. Sorry, I don't sugar coat. Mom gone dip in whether you like it or not. That's her daughter and grandkids. If you've been helping with the kids, that's admirable. Their real father should have be a part of their lives too. If you're sick of the situation, maybe it's time to get your own place where you can be the man of the house. Take care

Peace and Love

Answer 3

I agree with Sherry N there is just enough info on your part. Because if she feels this way you must don't have a job or no source of income that would make her respect you. If you love her children think about what would make them happy and go from there. She sounds a lot like me, so I would let her know how I really feel, and if she is negative leave her and the kids and let her take it from there. Just leave for a couple of days then return and she how she takes that! If her response is still the same way as before you left then she is gone out of your reach and there is no turning back to you.

Answer 4

Again, sweetheart since you have given a little more details now- this is too much for one person to bare. If I were you I would politely pack up my bags and move on. You are a good man and you won't be single for long, there are a ton of women who would love to have someone like you in their lives. I know its easy for us to say leave but you have no other choice. If you are there because you have no place to go then save up and get out when you can. It maybe hard on the kids and some women fail to realize that when they bring men into their children's lives and it doesn't work out the kids also loose out on that relationship as well but it sounds like she is just taking you for granted and is very manipulative and not deserving of someone like yourself, if you can leave please do so, you will be better off if you do. Good luck to you

Answer 5

Sorry for your situation, but, honestly, she's taking you for granted.

She's got a ' live in ' babysitter.
Her mother doesnt' mind her own business if she's continuely at the house... Thats a MAJOR NO-NO
You, supposedly, are to cook, clean, babysit, work, bring home the bacon, treat her well, and NO sex ??

Tell her that if you move out and are GONE< then she'll be the one to cook, clean and take care of those kids ON her Own .. gee,,,, how will she handle that ?? Bet not long...

Sorry sweety, but I would get out.. If you are boyfriend/girlfriend, then if you ever decide to marry her one day, it will be NO different. she's abusing you now, she'll do it then too.

I'm not one to tell people to get out of a relationship, but there is no way , in you know where, that I would tolerate her abuse Anymore !

Answer 6

You should leave. She is being a real *****. I would be happy to find a man to help me with the household chores. And i wouldn't tell him that it's his obligation. She shouldn't keep throwing that in your face that you should appreciate her. Find you a real woman, that doesn't have to bring up everything she did for you, in the relationship. When the kids father came back, you do have to step back a little bit. But this woman is taking you for granted. It's hard to find a good man, and i don't have kids. But she has kids and she is being a *****.

Answer 7

The problem is that you, and not just you but lots of others, go into these relationships with people who have children (5, you say, OMG) without working out the details, like if the bio parent shows up. Sounds like you are at her whim where that is concerned. However, she sounds like a control freak and I would cut the ties that bind and get the heck out of Dodge! I would run so fast and so hard that even the Road Runner would be eating my dust. Ready, set, GO!!!

Answer 8

Get yourself out of there before she really messes you up. If she loved you she'd appreciate everything you do for her no matter how small. Raising someone elses kids is a real big thing for anyone to do and for her to call you a fake dad is just plain disrespectful. She sounds like to most ungrateful sort of harlet out there. Appreciate yourself and get away from her, you owe her nothing.

Answer 9

I hate to tell you this but yeah, if she's paying the bills, she calls the shots, otherwise hit the road. If you think this will get better with a ring on her finger, you need to stop smokin crack and sober the f**k up. There was a STANDARD rule of thumb I always went by. Look at the girl's mama, if you DON'T like what you see, beat feet hard and fast in retreat!!!!

Answer 10

If she is your girlfriend, she SHOULD appreciate you. And if she doesn't, she's no good for you. She shouldn't feel obligated to have sex with you, but if she doesn't want to, there's a problem too. As for her mom, sounds like my mom, and she's gotta tell her to butt out.

Unfortunately, she sounds like she has no redeeming qualities. Get out of there. It'll take time to get yourself together again, but you will be SOOOO much happier. It's like having hip-replacement surgery.