what made me so fearful that i scare to talk to everybody?

Question

ok heres my story im 18 year old now and believe me i am hopelessly shy and loner oh and loser as well.
as a child i saw fight between my parents my dad used to drink and beat my mom everyday. i mean every night i cried because of my moms innocence and my dad violence. since 16 year i used to scare from my dad alot i mean i was not even able to talk to him. so two years ago we came in America and my fear got decrease towards my dad i don't know how? now my dad drinks two time week and sometime fight with my mom but dont beat her like they used to! so my questions is that my dads fear made me sooooooooooo shy?or am i mentally ill who cry alot and always alone without any friends!i have no freind in school i go to school everyday go to my classes and sit alone in the luch period or sit in the restroom?

i dont know if that make any sense at all cuz life is really hard to save in this small box!

Answer 1

You are not the victim here so stop acting like one. You always have a choice and stop putting yourself down you are not a loser, Maybe you could find a counsellor to vent these emotions out so you can move on with your life. Impower yourself. You are only a victim if you choose to be one. It's your choice!

Answer 2

You are the victim of a dysfunctional abusive family where violence was all too common, and fear was the response.

Many people have absolutely NO understanding of why they are fearful, scared, and upset about everything.

You have made the first step to recovery by understanding what you saw, and what you experienced. Many people blank this violence out of their minds and never realize WHY they are like they are.

You are FAR from alone in your suffering of the psychological abuse/trauma from watching family violence at home. It is very common.

Talk to people. You will soon understand that it is much more common than you think.

Your childhood was not perfect, and it affected you. ----It happened. Now you have to accept it, discuss it with YOUR PARENTS, tell them how it affected YOU, and talk to other people, adjust to it as part of your background, and most importantly------, make sure it does NOT happen in YOUR family when you start one. Make sure this kind of psychological and physical abuse is NOT something YOUR children will see and experience.

Good luck with that.

Answer 3

violence hurts everyone.... you would think with all those big egos running the world they would care about it long before now... they spend money on what makes hair spray work... then they spend all this money saying don't use hair spray it hurts the enviornment you would think that they would have figured out how hatred and violence is hard on the environment... they sit worried about global warming give us a lot of lip service about they could fix it... then go out and make another war.... WAR AND VIOLENCE HURTS THE ENVIRONMENTS DUMMIES....

you have been hurt... you are not mentally ill your father is mentally the american government is mentally ill... religions christians catholics are mentally ill... they are all violent pay us lip service and don't care that THEY ARE THE CAUSE.... the only advice I could give you is hold on... once you move out you have a chance to make your own choices.... your mom should have left him a long time ago... she does you no favors by staying... so talk to people who like you for who you are.... you'll find a way to make friends don't fall for anyone trying to sell you a religious bill of good will just be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire... you are surviving the toughest time in a human's life.... be determined to get through it... good luck.... and be strong.... for you cause you are worth it... and when you are free so is life.

Answer 4

You are going to have to get involved with others. Find a club at school, a church group or something like that so you can have safe environment to socialize in. Finding out why you feel like you do is not as good as just making the changes you need to. Try saying hello to one person each day. Most teens are rather vain and if you compliment them they respond. You are alone and sad and trying to adjust but I doubt you are mentally ill.

Answer 5

well i actually had a very similar prob
my dad beat me and my mom cuz he was drunk and he thought 4 no reason that she was cheating on him(which she wasn't) and i was always crying and not only from being hit, but 4 my mom to....he took everything from my mom except 4 some of her clothes and same w/me, we moved to america and got away from him but i cant seem to talk to people now and im having a hard time making friends
well enough about me, to help u out.....
some of my friends that i have now started to talk to me and introduced me to more, but if u want to make some on ur own, think about who u r going to talk to and think about what might interest them but also make sure u no what ur talking about and always b urself just try planning what u r going to say a while b4 u say it
ps try not to rely on this cuz u will meet somepeople out of the blue and if u want to b there friend u have to talk

Answer 6

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