I'm a crazy or is he being selfish?

Question

ok married to a great man and father of our 4 year old son. i am 8 months prego. my husband works alot. my son usually dosen't see him at least one night a week to do him working late or playing hockey. now i don't know if it's my hormones or what but it's driving me mad. I'm i being the selfish one or is he? like i said he is a great man over all when he is here he is great. he gets happy for the weekend when it's time to spend with us. i know that it's good to have hobbies even though i don't and that is another story. i don't mind him playing one night a week or even two but sometimes it's 2 days in a row. yesterday (sat) it was in the late afternoon it cuts into our whole sat. now tonight (sun) he has a game early evening. and he has another game on tue which means he probably won't be seeing our son that night. and for the rest of the week who knows with his work schedule. when i said something before he is like "i can't control when the team plays or not" i'm i being selfish?

Answer 1

Yes your hormones are involved....you are pregnant. It's okay. That said, working late is for YOU and your kids. He's bringing in an income and trying to advance so he can bring in more income later, too, when it's time to send your kids to school. So, you cannot sanely be upset by that. As for the hobby. I think it's great your guy is staying fit by playing hockey. (He's not out sitting around chatting with girls in bars, or playing pool and drinking; he's an athlete!) Why don't you pack that little boy up and go out to the games and watch your hubby play? That's what a good supportive wife should do, you know. You might have to give the boy a nap so he can stay up for the game, or you might have to bring him home at the end of a period, but take him and go watch Daddy! I do think you are being a little selfish unless you have a terrible medical problem with your pregnancy and cannot go out. If your husband is happy, your marriage will be happy. If you try to get him to give up his sports' team and let his buddies down, he will resent you and be unhappy, and then your marriage won't do well. Join in...be his biggest supporter, and he'll love you for it.

Answer 2

Go and see the games with your son. Show him some interest. I know you are pregnant, but life does not have to end. You may not feel like seeing all the games, but once in a while wont hurt. I would about give my right arm for my husband to just get out of the house. He has no interests, no friends, is lazy and controlling. I work 40 hours a week, keep the house clean, cook, laundry, cut the lawn (6 acres) while he sits on his butt. But thats another story. Be happy that he does have some outside interests and be happy that he is a great man and father. You are lucky.

Answer 3

Why in the world would you think that you are the one being selfish if this indeed the way the story is played out? He doesn't want to be home. He doesn't want to be a family unless you are invited to go with him and you refuse. How difficult are YOU being? Are you fun to be around or do you nag all the time? You can only control what YOU do not what another person is doing. Go with him to his games. Bring the kid. Show some interest.

Answer 4

I don't think he is being selfish. I think you need to find your hobby and have your 2 nights a week to go out. I think you are more jealous, than worried about his relationship to your son. Pick 2 nights that he is home from work and inform him you are going out for your night out. Go to the movies, or out to dinner, there are several other things you can find to do. You deserve the time just as much as he does. Your son will not be harmed by mom and dad having their own time a couple of nights a week. In fact it may well make for better relationships with your child. The child will also learn they can survive with out all of mom and dad's attention.

Answer 5

Just like people yell at the mothers and make us feel guilty for every bad thing we do...tell him to get off the team. He needs to put his family first. When I was pregnant (just had my 9 month old), I pretty much told my husband that we would be doing everything together until I wasn't pregnant anymore. He understood why I was keeping him with me b/c I couldn't do anything since I was carrying our baby that we both created.

My husband is great and had no problem staying at home with me. :) Even when he went out with our 2 year old, he would always ask me if I wanted to come. He wanted to do everything with us and that is what makes him the love of my life. Guys like my husband are few and far between.

Hopefully, your husband will put his needs behind for at least 9 months and be there for you, your youngest son and both of you all's newest addition.

And it may be hormones but who cares. Look at all that you are doing for your new baby. Pregnant women are entitled to have crazy hormones as much as they want.

I was sick my whole pregnancy and then put on bed rest near the end. All for my beautiful little man. It was so worth it, but these men that help women to get pregnant need to support them throughout their whole pregnancy and then after.

Good luck!

Answer 6

It would be helpful if he could repectfully withdraw himself from one of the games that is taking up his whole weekend. He may not be able to control when the game plays, but he can control when HE plays. Can he take your son with him? A little guy time with the little guy. It's not being a nag, it's being concerned about their relationship and making sure your son doesn't feel slighted by your husbands inattention or that he suffers as a result.

Answer 7

he's on a team, they have a schedule - the better they are, the more games they end up playing...it's sports...it's something when your son gets older they will share...

get the hormones in check mom!

Answer 8

ya its ok to have a hobby but right now no... he needs to be there to help you with your other child and help you period.... and being his schedule his family needs to be a priority not his own needs...