hi. i'm 28 years old, well i started having sexual contact with my girfriend every 3 weeks or so, but i have trouble getting it up.
I notice that when we get intimate i cannot get erect enough for penetration.
This is my first sexual experience, I do feel kinda nervous. I notice when i am alone i am able to get erection even after masterbation. My girlfriend is very very concerned and dissappointed about this. We've been together for 8 mths now, i fear i may lose her over this. When we do talk about this i feel very nervous about this. Is there anything i can do about this?
2007-06-03 09:49:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
could be performance anxiety that caused it in the first place..this erection thing is kinda tricky too,sometimes stress affects it..when its not working how abt switching to getting intimate emotionally..it could make you closer in a way that sex never could..we girls dont just need a good bed partner,sometimes the hugs&kisses are important too.if she leaves you because you cant get it up dont fret too much. sex is not everything,,sure its great but there lots of things more important that can keep the relatioship going like the things you have in common, respect,LOVE...you have to talk about it,bottling things up cause tension and more stress especialy to you..tell her ur scared of loosing her bcoz of this,her answers could take your fears away..and help you relax coz you no longer have to perform to keep her love.
2007-06-08 03:09:24 · answer #1 · answered by ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya u have to talk to her and explain to her that everything is fine at home but u get around her and u get nervous and it all goes down hill from there. If she loves u she will understand and do her best to help u. U've got yourself so worked up that youre body is no longer cooperating with u. U need to tell her it's not her, I'm sure she's starting to wonder, but if u explain yourself that will ease her fears. I have been down this road and once we talked we took it slow after a few more times we had the problem taken care of. Maybe her words alone can calm u down, u just need her to calm u down and ease your fears. I'm sure she loves u or else she wouldnt be here today. Use a condom, take it slow and talk about it. Dont make this taboo it will only make it worse. Try something to distract u from your fears (think about her, how good she feels against u etc) it might have the opposite effect but if I were her I would like those results just as well
2007-06-03 17:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by do you know me? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your troubles. Once every three weeks sure isn't much. Perhaps, you two are not suited for each other. She should be your source of courage and calm. Is she too passive? Try other forms of sex with her. I doubt she'll be open to anything but lay there sex. I hope I'm wrong. Tell her what turns you on and ask her what she likes. If things don't work out, keep in mind that not all women are the same. You both deserve great sex and sometimes, love has nothing to do with it. It's physical chemistry. Good luck to you both.
2007-06-09 20:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by firestarter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 28 and this is your first sexual experience? Wow. I imagine there are some nerves involved here. Hang in there. If she really cares about you she will work through this with you. She should be very flattered if she is the one you've waited for.
2007-06-11 15:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by King Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the next time you are together, forget about sex. Work towards intimacy, instead. Most men confuse the two.
simply both of you undress & give her a nude massage. the focus will be on exploration, not on sexuality. get familiar with her & her body; what she says feels good.
as you explore, it will be both person & intimate. your fear should go away. then, move naturally & take the next step, but...only when YOU feel comfortable. If it's not this time, then wait. You may be dealing with performance anxiety & your Doc can help you with this.
2007-06-03 16:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The NUMBER ONE reason for ERECTILE PROBLEMS... is STRESS!!!
Stressing about... YOUR APPEARANCE... HAVING ENOUGH MONEY... "PERFORMANCE" in the sack!!!
JUST RELAX... and LET NATURE take its course!!!
Remember... guy's who "jack" too much... tend to "have problems"... doing it, with a PARTNER!!!
So... LET HER... do MOST OF THE WORK... especially, LOTS OF KISSING, TOUCHING, and FOREPLAY!!!
THE "REST" ... will happen... in DUE COURSE!!!
Good Luck!
2007-06-03 16:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by Zed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
early onset erectile disfunction.
talk to your doc.
there is a pill for that.
actualy several options
2007-06-08 20:11:21 · answer #7 · answered by razorraul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your doctor to rule out a medical cause. if she really cared, this wouldn't be the reason you would lose her.
2007-06-03 16:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by KitKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet you were raised very RELIGOUSLY. Until you work things out with God you're gonna have problems.
2007-06-03 17:23:29 · answer #9 · answered by Trenese 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sometimes you just need to slapher around the house and tell her what to do?
2007-06-11 09:42:36 · answer #10 · answered by James M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋