If you answer this question....?

Question

Will you say something really funny?

'my face' yeah, I now you're jealous.

Oops, I meant know.

Answer 1

Why are people here so mean??

Answer 2

A woman was stopped for speeding by a state trooper. She wanted to get out of the ticket so she asked if she could just buy some tickets to the policemen's ball. The trooper said, "We're state troopers, maam, we don't have balls." Slowly the trooper realized what he said and handed the woman back her driver's liscens and sent her on her way.

Answer 3

Something really funny

Answer 4

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

I know, I know...but sometimes corny is funny :)

Answer 5

need jokes? here u go!

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden
their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety
of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and
taste these."
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint,
but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of
the kids were stumped.
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's somethin your mommy
and daddy probably call each other all the time."
Instantly, one of the kids coughed his onto the floor and shouted,
"Spit 'em out, they're as*holes!"


A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the
office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he opened the door a
truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver's door of the
Lexus. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.
When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically.
His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now
completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body
shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are", he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Didn't you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
The lawyer looked down to his left side and let
out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!!! ... MY ROLEX!"


In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the step.

About this time the big Texan that was behind her in the line picked her up easily from the waist and placed her lightly on the step of the bus Well, she went ballistic and turned on the would-be hero screeching at him "How dare you touch my body!! I don't even know who you are!"

At this the Texan drawled "Well ma'am normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we was friends."






So it's little billy's first day of school. The day goes fine, but at around 1 o'clock the teacher decides to make an announcement.
"children, stand up if you think you are stupid." she says slowly and solemly, she has to find out who the kids are with low self esteem. But no child stands up. A few more moments goes by, and then little Billy stands up.
"Billy, do you think you are stupid?"
"No" comes the reply.
"then why are you standing up?" she thought she had made it clear that they were only to stand up if they thought they were stupid.
"I thought you were lonely standing there all by yourself."



Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.




On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "Im too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if Im going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well Ive had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"


For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. Hes gorgeous! Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:





"Iron this."





John invites his mother to come to dinner with him and his room mate Sarah. Johns mom has been suspecting that john and sarah have been sleeping with eachother for the last couple years. During the dinner, johns mom couldnt help but notice john and sarah staring at eachother for long periods of time. "Mom, i know what you're thinking" said john "but me and sarah are just friends!" and he left it at that. So the dinner was over, and johns mom went back home. A week goes by and sarah tells john that she cant find her life savings of money and that its been missing since johns mom was there. so john emails his mom, it reads: Dear mom, im not saying that you are a thief, im not saying that you took sarahs life saving, but i am saying that it disappeared when you left.
He got a response back saying: Dear John, im not saying you do sleep with sarah, im not saying you guys are in a relationship, but i am saying that if sarah slept in her bed, she would have found her life savings!"



wow yea I know that's a lot, hope I made you laugh :)

Answer 6

something really funny....

Answer 7

haha most likely not.

Answer 8

your face. now that's a funny topic right there.

Answer 9

i just farted

Answer 10

maybe