Me and my boyfriend/fiance of 5 years just recently broke up.. about 2 weeks ago. I found out from a friend of his that he was cheating on me prior to the breakup which hurt me so bad. But i kept quiet about it, Once I told him that I knew he was cheating on me,he denied it but finally admitted that he had caught hard feelings for the other girl. I moved out and we didn't speak for a few days. He then called me and said that he wanted to talk to me face to face about it. While we were talking he said that he loves me and he was confused about who he wanted to be with. Then he later said that he wanted to be with me and her, he didn't want to choose. How could he fix his mouth to say something like that? While In his presence I must admit that i became weak and I did allow myself to be intimate with him. He told me that he wanted me to move back home, but later said that he wanted to be with her. Now he says that he needs time to see where he wants to be and he wants me to wait for him.
2007-06-03 09:13:56 · 9 answers · asked by Shay R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He says that he needs time for himself and that he will make a decision as to who he wants to be with, but for me to be patient with him because he could choose me. He also told me today that he loves her, but they have only been together since April 27th. I don't have much family and friends to help me get through this pain. 5 years is a long time and I still love this man with all my heart. Walking away is a difficult thing and staying will only cause me more pain I know this, but how do I avoid him? I wish I didn't love him so much!
2007-06-03 09:24:59 · update #1
Shay:
You are going to have to be a better friend to yourself, and start demanding better behavior from those that are close to you. This manipulative fellow is bad news, but there are many more waiting, as bad or worse. R.E.S.P.E.C.T., in Aretha's words, is what you must have, from EVERYONE that touches your life. Don't waste an instant on this fellow, who does not know how to love you. Instead, start today and demand a little respect ! You will notice a big change in the way people treat you, I promise.
2007-06-03 09:28:06 · answer #1 · answered by Elwood Blues 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you're going through this. I wish there were a quick answer that would immediately fix this, but there's not. In all honesty, you need to let this man go. While you do love him, you are also comfortable with him and change is extremely uncomfortable...especially when you didn't initiate the change. By now, your partner should know what he wants and what he wants is to have his cake and eat it to. He wants you when he wants you. That is a load of crap. Please don't let him manipulate you into be available for him to use when and how he wants. If he truly loved you, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. And unfortunately, chances are if you wait and take him back after he's had his fun, he will continue to do the same thing to you as long as you let him. As hard as it is, walk away. Don't let him use you, put you in second place, or continue to disrespect you. You deserve so much more. Don't wait...get out now and start living your life for you. Best of luck and I hope this helps. I know it's not a fix, but I do understand and sympathize with your pain.
2007-06-03 10:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by sassyredhead1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would not want to be with him. He cheated on you, and he can't make up his mind what he wants. If you take him back, he will likely cheat again at some future point. Better to say goodbye now than after you've been together for another 5 years and possibly have children who will be hurt when he cheats the next time. I hope you can find a good guy that will love and appreciate you and be honest with you in the future.
2007-06-03 09:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't waste anymore of your time on someone who you were with for 5 years and now he wants you to wait longer while he decides what he wants in life. What about you? Does he think he is so perfect you will want a life with someone who is with you one day and the next someone else. He has proven his true colors to you and now it is entirely up to you what you do. If you wait another 5 weeks or more than he decides no he wants someone else that will only make the pain more. Your worth more than what he is trowing you and that is crumbs. Never settle for second best.
2007-06-03 09:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the fool if you take him back, he's just playing you if he had to choose between both he would choose her he's just trying to get a little tail as long as he can. You must not have a lot of self esteem because their is no reason to even consider getting back with him.
2007-06-03 11:44:44 · answer #5 · answered by ADR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. I say leave it alone and move on even though it hurts so much. He needs time to do his own thing. You would be wrong to just sit around and wait for this man.
2007-06-03 09:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dating a total loser. You must also be a total loser for still talking with this guy who treats you like A DOG. You are nothing but a piece of @$$ to him, go find another guy. Trust me there are plenty of single guys that will treat you 10x better than him.
2007-06-03 09:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does still have feelings for you but don't wait around and let him decide about your life.
Tell him that you will always have a special place in your heart for him....but it's time to move on.
Would you ever really trust him again if he came back?
2007-06-03 09:20:28 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
cause we usually do it alone its hard to trust people cause some like my wife love to cause pain they cant even b honest with theirself let alone someone else.good luck
2007-06-03 09:34:59 · answer #9 · answered by paultoledo34 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋