I have a close friend who left her husband and recently went back to him. She is still seeing the man secretly that she was seeing when she left her husband last year. Do I keep my mouth shut?
2007-06-03 08:34:43 · 25 answers · asked by dewingedfairy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For those who are saying it is non of my business-- I want to add it makes me uncomfortable because she wants my circle of friends to babysit her daughter while she goes to her boyfriends house and wants her daughter to lie also, and I am terrified of being asked by her husband questions. She lied to him one and said she was living with me when she moved out. I am totally against lying and I am not sure what to do if I get cornered.
2007-06-03 08:46:43 · update #1
True it isn't your business, however she is making it your business by trying to get you to lie for her. That is wrong.
I would very clearly tell her this, "I will not lie nor cover for your infidelity. If your husband asks me any questions, I will answer them truthfully. If he brings a topic up and he has the incorrect information that applies to me,my house or my family, I will set him strait about the facts. If you can't handle that then I guess this friendship is over."
Also I would not babysit her child anymore while she goes and gallivants around with her BF.
2007-06-03 09:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, keep your mouth shut. You're job is to be a supportive friend. it doesn't mean that you have to approve of her behavior, she is a grown woman. You are suppose to be non-judgemental. Your friend is going through something and is apparently unsure of what she should do. Besides, if you were to say something, you would probably lose your friend. Mind your business and just be her friend. If you feel that you can't do that, then end the friendship by telling her that you don't feel that you two are compatible as friends.
2007-06-03 15:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since none of this is your business, yes, keep your mouth shut. Other people's morals are not your concern. Doesn't matter how close of a friend she is. It is her personal choice, and this isn't something you have any right to stick your nose into.
If you don't keep your mouth shut, this isn't your friend. I wouldn't expect to have any contact with her again if you do something stupid like rat her out.
2007-06-03 15:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by Babber420 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her plainly that you are not willing to take care of her daughter while she continues her adulterous affair and that if questioned by her husband you will tell the truth. She would be wise to come clean. In the end it will come out into the open. I'm all for you continuing your ideals on being honest and not lying. You don't have to change your values to protect your friend from the consequences of her actions.
2007-06-03 16:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by DK Julie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am 84 years old, and the best advice my Dad gave me was "Keep your eyes and ears open, and you mouth shut". The best advice I have ever had. This is not your problem, and you should not get involved in it. Sooner or later the truth will come out without your "help".
2007-06-03 15:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ooooo, good one. If you disagree with what she's doing, then quit enabling her by babysitting, and tell her why. Even though you're close, it is not your place to say anything to her husband. Not if you want to remain her friend. She's using you and everyone else, and needs to decide who she wants to be with. as her close friend, if you want to tell someone something, tell her what you think. She may be confused and not see what she's doing.
2007-06-03 16:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should refuse to have anything to do with her as long as she leads this double life.
SHE can lie to her husband all she wants to, but expecting anyone ELSE to cover for her is way beyond the line.
Refuse her calls & visits, and do not watch her child while she's behaving this way....and if her husband asks why, tell him to ask HER to tell him.
This woman is not a friend--she is using you as her alibi--don't let her suck you into any more of her personal drama!
2007-06-03 15:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it were me though, I would drop a anonymous note for the husband to get a PI, that she's still been seeing the guy. And to her act like I know nothing.
Or tell her you won't lie for her anymore, that you won't be a part of this desctruction, and ask her why she cannot find the moral courage to be honest about it and make up her mind.
2007-06-03 15:52:31 · answer #8 · answered by Unicornrider 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I do not think you should say anything to anyone. It's her problem to deal with, and no one but she can know the whole situation. No one else has the right to judge, or decide what the right action is. Encourage her self-esteem and her good qualities as well as you can, to bring out the best in her, and let her handle it.
2007-06-03 16:03:06 · answer #9 · answered by Mother Amethyst 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your friend has put you in a terrible position. Tell her you don't want to hear any details and that you will not lie for her.
I would stay out of it. Her husband likely suspects that she's still up to no good, but unless he comes straight out and asks you, don't tell him.
2007-06-03 15:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋