Is there a status difference between single mothers and single fathers?

Question

I am wondering if you feel differently about single mothers than you do single fathers. I overheard a conversation between two teachers talking about a student in a "single parent family." The assumption was that it was the mother raising the student and , of course the student must be having problems with a mother like that. When the second teacher found out that the single parent was a Dad - all of a sudden he was a hero and maybe "we as a school could do something to help out". Help out? I never heard such a huge difference in attitude about parenting. How do you feel about it?

As a Single Mom myself, it always hurt when the assumptions were made. The question was never designed to elicit name calling, but the fact is - there are people out there who, no matter who has the kids - want to blame the woman. The fact that someone calls a single mother scum and calls a single dad hero - proves what I had suspected - that there is a huge status difference. I am going to extend the deadline. I think this is an important discussion. Thanks.

Answer 1

There really should not be a difference, but of course there is. Interestingly, single fathers head only less than 20 percent of all single-parent households : http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/releases/archives/families_households/009842.html .

In Susan Faludi's _Backlash_, she ponders why all the most popular '80s television shows portrayed single-father households and hardly any single-mother households at a time when the percentage of single-father households was somewhere in the 5 percent range.

Anyway, just another example of the bias against single mothers - who, according to psychologists, always raise "screwed up" children. Of course they wouldn't want to "help out" a poor, lazy, psychologically diseased single mother. It is also merely another example of male privilege:
http://colours.mahost.org/org/maleprivilege.html
http://www.case.edu/president/aaction/UnpackingTheKnapsack.pdf

And this is exceedingly interesting: http://hugoschwyzer.net/2007/03/05/fatherhood-age-and-male-privilege/ .

Answer 2

There does some to be some stereotyping - for example, everyone suggested to a single dad I know that he hire a housekeeper. They kept insisting that he "deserved it". (Which he did, of course.) I've *never* heard anyone admit that a single mom couldn't possibly do all the housework, raise the children *and* work full-time. It's kind of funny how that works, isn't it?

Answer 3

Well I am a single mother. Loving every minute of it.
to me a single Parent is a single Parent. Father's do NOT get to have custody much in this time. even when abuse is present.

I am in a group that shows how Single father's have to fight for their right to have their Children. if you really want to see what the difference is then please check out the group. you will find hard working Father's Fighting the courts for their Children's safety please check it out.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/shatteredmen

EDIT: HAPPY BULLET. Thank YOU so much for calling me SCUM. I AM TRYING to HELP Single Father's and here you go and Open YOUR BIG MOUTH. and call ALL Single Mother's SCUM. since when do YOU know ALL Single Mothers? YOU don't know ME. Please DO NOT Judge me. YOU don't know me. NOT ALL Women want to hurt Men Damn. i make my own way I don't take money from ANYONE. I have proof for my statements. so Please next time DON'T CALL ALL Single Mother's SCUM.

To ALL the Single father's out there I salute YOU ALL. Great Job. from a Single Mother

Answer 4

I don't think there is a difference. The only problem is that most people think that men are very bad at dealing with a situation like that. But I think that it depends. There are good and bad fathers and good and bad mothers.

Answer 5

Watch Boys in the Hood. Angela Basett said it best in the movie when her baby's daddy thought he was special in raising their son. See the movie.

Answer 6

I was raised by a single dad ... and woman kinda treated him like he was the plague ... could be that he was a engineer geek.

Answer 7

I think both have a sad life. Imagine being an example to kids without one parent. Its terrible and sad. I would never do that to my other half ever!

Answer 8

no