In front of people I tend to mess up...??

Question

Ok... well when I tack up a horse, hose one down, or do somethign with a horse related to tackign up IN FRONT of someone... i don't know why but i tend to mess up. I get nervous. Once time, this ten year old girl (i was 13 or 12 at the time... now i'm 14) kept watching me... just staring. Adn i got nervous (as usual in front of ppl) and I put the girth on backwards... and i NEVER do that.. she was acting all high and mighty, and said, "Um.. you do know that that's on backwards right?" Then she gave me this look like i was the most stupid person in the world. And i did feel like the stupidest person in the world. When I tack up my horse ALONE i go at my pace and i'm not nervous at all! I do things right...

so how can i get over that feeling of getting nervous in front of ppl?? (including my trainer.. and even my mom who doesn't ride!)
thank you! (oh... and to the ppl who read my previous questions... i have decided to go back riding! thats' why i'm askign about this feeling)

Not when I ride, just tacking up.

Answer 1

I'm afraid that all you can do is try to tell yourself that you know what you are doing. Unfortunately, the people you were in contact with were not good "instructors/mentors". They may have been extremely knowledgeable horseman but not good teachers and have left you with some scars but... you need to be confident with your self... I don't know how to make that happen in "answers".

Do you have any "horse" friends that could watch you, ones that if you did make a mistake could correct you in a polite and friendly manner? Find someone and explain your fears to them, as you did here. Surround yourselft with positive people who praise what you do right and politely correct errors. Just remember, no body is perfect! Shoot, over the years I have tacked and untacked so many horses if I was not paying attention, like talking to somebody, look at the boot, head to where it belongs and do the exact opposite of where I was heading. LOL.. it just happens. The thing is, if you correct it, then what is the big deal?

Kind of like when you make a trip to a room in your house to get something and when you get there, you have no idea why you are there.. LOL.

We are all just people, we all make stupid mistakes and it just doesn't matter what the reason behind it is. If simply nerves... learn to laugh at yourself and FORGET those people that are "Pros" at everything they do. More than likely they will make more mistakes than you will:)

All your insecurities will go away in time, try to get yourself to stop focussing on the negative and focus on the positive!

And... find good mentors. (this is for all aspects of life as well) If you are paying someone to "train" you, find one that makes you feel good about yourself and the things you are doing right! If your first instinct makes you feel "under them", find someone else! We are all horse lovers and have to learn and KEEP learning, in that, we might as well have fun doing it!!!!

Glad to hear you are going to go back to riding again!!!!

Good luck with all your future endeavors!!!

Answer 2

Just relax. I mean, who cares if people are watching you? You sound like you can tackup fine, so why be nervous when someone is watching you? Everyone messes up sometimes, and if a little 10 year old thinks that you are stupid because of it, so be it. But if you still have troubles, try this... first invite one person to watch you. Then two. eventually, you may be able to tack up infront of anyone, no problem. Or, you can stret teaching little ones how to tack up. It will make sure that you do it right (becaue you are saying what you aree doing), and the kides will feel that you are the smartest, coolest person in the world. But last, relize why you dont care if poeple watch you wehen you uide and base what you do off of that.,

Answer 3

Try and have confidence in your self, you know you can do it! She was probably watching you because she was interested in what you were doing, and because she was naive she took advantage of your small mistake, without sparing any thought for your feelings. Next time you tack up in front of someone remember to breathe, theres nothing worse than holding your breathe. Try talking to them, or involve them with what your doing, ask them to pass you something or ask their advice on what sort of shampoo is best (this is just an example) If they are talking easily you may feel more relaxed around them. If you do something wrong and they point it out, laugh and say 'just testing you, well done for noticing that'. If you feel yourself getting nervous, stop and take a few breaths. Also practise as much as possible in front of a variety of different people. Or try putting a radio on, music does wonders to relax me if I'm feeling a bit worried. Good luck

Answer 4

It sounds like you are worried about what everyone is thinking about you, and it is taking your attention off your horse. Keep your eyes on your horse - physically and mentally. As you work with your horse, keep your mind on her. Also, be methodical about what you are doing - always do things in the same order, every time. This way you will train yourself, and you will barely have to think about the little things as they become second nature to you.

Sometimes you might think people are watching you when they are just looking in your general direction - lots of the time they will be looking at your horse, and not what you are doing! It is easy to feel self-conscious, especially when you are 14, but if you train yourself to go slow, and remember what is important - your horse - you will be able to relax.

This is even more important when you are in your lesson. Focus on your horse, and what you are doing. Practice this attitude and it will pay off for you in the long run.

Answer 5

What is your favorite song?? Sing it to yourself when your doing this. Or your favorite memories, visualize that in your head, don't worry about time you have plenty of time. As you would know from riding You have to be in control of your horse right??? Take that same control and put it into that song or memory. Most important when your doing this hold your self with pride Not like your queen of the world but just hold your body with pride like you feel good about what your doin, you'll notice others seem to disappear you don't see them as in there watching your every move. Try this for a few weeks it will get easier. Girl don't try to impress anyone but you. You've already impressed me for your age knowing how to do the things you do... most adults don't know how to do that. It's not stupid and neither are you. Memory and Pride concentrate on that for a while....
good luck... ;)

Answer 6

I have the same problem! I would say just ignore the other people around you and focus on your horse and what you are doing. And if you are still nervous, just act like you are confident and know what you are doing, and the people around you will not notice a thing. I just focus on the horse or think about something else, and then I am not nervous about someone watching me.

Answer 7

I had that problem when I first started riding also. I started when I was 4, I'm now 53- and let me tell you...horse people were just as unforgiving back then as they are now.

One time I forgot to pull my stirrup irons down and was standing by my 17.2 hh partner, Majesty. I was at a competition and everyone was staring at me as I began hopping hopelessly by my horse trying to get on him. It wouldn't have been so bad, but no one was willing to help me or point out that I needed to lower my irons.....and the worse thing- my horse looked at me like I was an idiot too.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, it's a phase and once you become confident and learn to laugh off your mistakes, you'll find yourself getting along much easier.

Answer 8

When you are tacking up just ignore the people watching-- its obvious that the girl didn't know how to do it herself and was looking for some guidance from you. When you are tacking up just go slow and get ready for your lesson: simple as that. It's not a race, it's not a contest and if you make a mistake so what-- tell the girl to get off your back and stop watching you! If you mess up again while shes watching you, go kick butt in a lesson and show her how good of a rider you are!

Answer 9

Obviously you don't have enough supportive/caring friends to back you up when you fail. The successful ones all has supportive friends who doesn't care when they fail or even make a huge joke about it and move on. But sadly that is not your situations. Friendship is what you need to improve on, and focus on that. Remember, life isn't all about displaying yourself in front of the eyes of public and being perfect, it isn't all that cracked up to be. I see a billion, no 5 billion people walking by, and all of them has different stories to tell. Champs, miss prom queen, mathlete, football hero, chess genius or that girl who knows all about world war II. But who gives a damn? Get on with your life.

Answer 10

You need to relax. You are doing that probably because you are at a new barn and you think everyone else is better than you so you are trying to be perfect. Whenever someone watches you, just relax and take deep breaths. I know how it feels when someone watches you you want to go faster and you dont do well. Just relax and seek comfort in your horse.