I have to little ones from a marriage we are now divorced and I have gone back to my maiden name. My Fathers was asking me about changing their last names. Their dad is a good for nothing deadbeat. I have full custody he only has supervised visitation. My childern are 4 & 2. Just wondering if its something I would have to get him to sign off on or if I should just leave it alone? Thanks.
2007-06-03 03:10:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One last thing he hasn't even seen them since April!
2007-06-03 03:14:14 · update #1
Legally you can't do it without his consent. Right now your kids are young enough not to be concerned about their last name. The real concern is that he's not taking advantage of visitation...his loss...and if he's giving you child support. Maybe in time he will straighten out and figure out what his priorities are, but that's not likely. If down the road you're in a position to support the kids on your own and he's still been an absent dad, then maybe you could propose an agreement (it would have to be legal, of course) that he be released of all financial responsibility and that you could change their last name. I've been where you are with two little ones about the same age and know that it's tough. Sounds like you have a supportive family so lean on them and your friends. Be strong and God Bless...it will work out.
2007-06-03 04:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by night-owl gracie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know for sure if he would have to sign away on it or not, but since your children are so young, I don't think it would be that big of a deal. Unless your four-year-old knows their last name now, it could be hard to teach them a new name.
Do what you feel is in the best interest of your children? It does not affect child support in any way. Trust me, my boyfriend's ex tried to get him for child support on a child that: 1. wasn't his, 2. had a different last name than either of them, 3. had a different man's name on the birth certificate.The state still tried to go after my boyfriend, until the DNA results showed she wasn't his.
2007-06-03 03:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was a child, my mother and father made the decision that the best thing for my brother and me was for my father to stay out of the picture. My father was in and out of prison, a drug addict, an alcoholic, and extremely abusive. In later years, my mother met another man whom she married. He wanted us to have his name. My father had to sign over his parental rights for us to be able to do so, and in turn he was no longer obligated to pay child support (which he didn't do anyway.) This was very traumatizing for me, as I felt that my father had walked away from me for good. I didn't understand how he didn't want to be my dad anymore and could walk away from me like that forever. I was grateful for the man that did step up to the plate and took care of us, however.
In short, taking your children's birth name away affects more than the piece of paper it is written on. If their dad is making any attempt whatsoever, do not take that away from your children. It will affect them for the rest of their lives if he agrees to the process, which, unless the court finds reason to revoke his parental rights, he will have to agree to.
2007-06-03 03:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by Becky J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
though your relationship is over, he still fathered the children... they should bear his name, now in the future if you meet someone else and he wishes to adopt the children, that may become a possibility if mr dead beat allows... but for now, think of it this way, two wrongs don't make a right, and you be the strong, moral one.... peace for your journey!
2007-06-03 03:15:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to okay the change before it can be made. My mom had wanted to change my last name but if she did, he said he would refuse to sign the paperwork to change my last name. Also, if he's paying child support it affects weither or not he has to pay it or not, regardless of it he is the father or not.
2007-06-03 03:19:25 · answer #5 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i have my dads name but it didnt change when my mam and dad split up. its no harm leaving it alone but its nice to have your kids having the same name
2007-06-03 03:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the baby's dad has to sign papers okaying it
2007-06-03 03:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
change their last name
2007-06-03 03:13:34 · answer #8 · answered by sango 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
irregardless of your personal feelings for your ex he is still there father and he does have rights
2007-06-03 03:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by too shy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would just leave it alone...it might tramatize them more to change it.
2007-06-03 03:14:40 · answer #10 · answered by idol lover 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋