I live at my grandfather's house during the summer (I'm in college). I normally don't see my mom (I was taken by CYS because she was deemed mentally unfit due to bipolar disorder), but I saw her outside. I asked her to come inside, but she got angry. She said I am taking advantage of my pap (I cook, clean, and care for him, especially since he has to have cataract surgery soon), and she feels it's immoral/unfair that my fiance from New Jersey stays sometimes (he sleeps in the guest room). She says my grandfather never allow this for anyone else. My pap has never seemed to have a problem with me. Anyway, my mom got really angry, and she told me that when I was younger she took my to a psychologist, and the psychologist said I had a personality disorder where I use people and that is what I am doing with my pap. Does a disorder like this exist or is my mother just angry and venting? I don't think I'm using my pap, and I don't think there's anything wrong with me. What's up???
2007-06-03 02:53:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
My fiance only visits on weekends, and when he does he sleeps downstairs in the guest room which is on the opposite hallway of my grandfather's room.
Is there even a personality disorder like that? It's not my major, but I took a psychology class, and we didn't learn anything about a using people personality disorder.
2007-06-03 03:04:51 · update #1
The courts have already made it clear as to your mothers
condition. Seams she just keeps proving them wright. Be
kind to her. Try to be understanding. When she acts like that,
walk away. You and your Pap have a good thing going. Don't
let anyone spoil it for him, nor for you. Don't wait too long
before the cataract surgery. The sooner the better. Assure
him there is nothing to it. Some one will need to drive hem
home and thats about it. Oh! and I don't think you are a user.
Good luck.
2007-06-03 03:19:17 · answer #1 · answered by wayne g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, growing up with a bipolar parent is extremely difficult, and for you to be functioning and dealing with changes like living with your pap is a great achievement!
You have to separate your mom from the bipolar disorder. She may say lot of awful things to you or use physical violance, but that is not your "mom" speaking, but the disorder. I am sure she loves you but at times not able to show it.
I would like to know how young you were when she claims she got the diagnosement of a personality disorder. It is rare to diagnose such disorders at young age. If you are worried, it would be wise to seek some outside professional help and also for working out your problems you have gained by the upbringing of an unstable caregiver.
The disorder she describes fits mostly the Borderline Personality Disorder which is in a nutshell what most adolescents experience during their teens (and therefore not easy to diagnose at young age).
If you feel like you are doing your pap good, and he feels the same, don't worry too much about what she said and focus on your life.
2007-06-03 03:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by Soybella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously question anything your mom tells you. It sounds like she is very distraught about something and she's lashing out at you. People diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder can be VERY difficult to understand. I would do some research on your mother's condition to try to understand a little more about how it affects who she is and what she says.
As for your relationship with your grandfather, it sounds like you are very lucky to have him in your life. If there is a problem there, you should know it. Ask your grandfather if he has a problem with your fiance staying over. There are some people who get very upset by unmarried people staying together, and your grandfather may be one of them. I would respect his wishes if he asks you not to let him stay, or maybe come up with a compromise, like letting him stay but in a separate room.
There is such a thing as personality disorders. But, I wouldn't let your mom make you think that you have one. If you are truly concerned about your psychological health, go see a counselor and bring up your concerns. You might benefit from a counselor anyway, just to help you sort out your feelings about your mom. Good luck.
2007-06-03 03:02:34 · answer #3 · answered by georgiabirdgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A personality disorder i know of where people use other people is antisocial personality disorder. People here have no use for other people except for personal gain. They can be quite charming when it comes to getting something from people. So an antisocial person is likely to ignore you for days then will show up to ask you for money and will tell any lie he can think of to get the cash from you. Almost like a drug addict would. They also tend to be aggressive when they don't get what they want. I don't think you have that since you care for you grand dad and don't seem to mind. I think you mom was in one of her mood swings when you spoke to her and that's why she said what she did. Do not take her seriously. She was just venting on you and i think you should ignore her words. You are not using your grand dad when you let your boyfriend stay in the guest room.
There's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes kids with parents with mental disorders worry so much about it that they begin to exhibit symptoms themselves. Please do not let her words torment you to teh point that you do anything weird.
All teh best
2007-06-03 03:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by daixyflexi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'd have to know you better to make a judgement, but if you're truely helping your pap then it's a win-win relationship and that's wonderful. since your mom has bipolar disorder, you probably have dealt with her attitudes all your life and you probably know in your heart and gut that the things she says are not true, but it still hurts to have someone you love say such mean things. have a talk with your pap ( is this your mom's dad?) about what he expects of you when you are there and if he would prefer your fiance to stay elsewhere. just make the suggestion as a gesture that you are NOT taking advantage of him. if he loves having you there then it is very believable to me that he is making the exceptions that your mom says he wouldn't do for anyone, and that he loves you very much!!
2007-06-03 03:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by casw1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is in your question. Your mom has bipolar disorder so anything she says is part of her illness that she is trying to place on you. If it is really bothering you, you may want to consider a restraining order. It sounds like she needs help, but you are not the one to help her. I think you have enough to worry about. Keep taking care of your grandpa sounds like you are on the right track
2007-06-03 02:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom is the one with the problem. I'm sorry she feels the need to vent to cover up her own short comings but what people usually complain about in others is something they don't like in themselves. Let it go, do what you know is right, study hard and go in the direction of your dreams. Many blessings
2007-06-03 03:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by flower wanda 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom is trying to make you feel guilty so she can manipulate you. She in fact is the one who is using others for her own personal gain.
Remember, when someone points their finger at you, three of their own are pointing back at them.
2007-06-03 03:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u r normal,she is just angry.
2007-06-03 03:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋