Am I wrong for X-ing my mom from my life?

Question

Ok here is the story.
I went to Iraq when the President declared war back in '03. When I was gone my mom kept asking my father and my sister if I've died yet. My sister said, "no, why do you keep asking" my mom then said, "because I'm his beneficiary I get all his money when he dies.
Well I make it back alive and drive down to TX from IN to pick up my car. My mom said, "man, if you wait 3 more days I'll have your car sold". I said, "it's my car what was I going to get?" she said, "half the money".
NOTE: She only wrote me 2 times while I was overseas.

People do say... Forgive and Forget plus people say you have to forgive people so you can go to heaven.

AWW don't really want to get into grim details but... yes she has turned her back on me before. When I was in 7th grade my dad remarried and he wanted me out because he new wifes kids where hearing me so I tried to move in with my mom and she said, "no, you chose your dad so stay with him I have no room for you".

Answer 1

I know you question was missing many details. I'm a Mother and I just can't even imagine making money off of ny of my children. I don't know what kind of relationship you had before you enlisted, but I sincerely think you need to redo your will. What about your sisters education, could you help her there? Is there someone in your family that could benefit with ome money to help them suceed? Rethink your will and let your Mom know what you have decided and then you will see how your Mom really feels. I will pray that you will come home from Iraq, healthy and ready to go on with your life. I do admire you for being in the service♥♥♥

Answer 2

What a B---h!!! You are validated, my friend. I also "x"ed my mother out of my life. She knew that my stepfather had sexually abused me all of my childhood and kept asking me to forgive him and move on. It would stop for a while but he would always do it again. Finally, I got away from that situation and then married. It happened yet again when I was married (he was caught masturbating to me while I was asleep on the couch). I had had enough. She would say that she was staying because of the other kids, my sister and brother. but it was really she was a coward whore. He made the money in the family and she could control him with the shame that she made him feel. Long story short, I started seeing it with my children and when I confronted her she didn't think it was going on.
So, I "x"ed her. I've died many funerals with this issue, but it was the best decision I ever made. There might have been some delivery of conversations I would have changed, but I'm glad that B---H is dead to me. She made it a mission in life to make snide and cutting remarks. She wasn't happy and she would be damned if others were happy.
You can't choose who your parents are, but you can choose to be around toxic people. Sometimes, your parent or parents are simply on the jerk list. Honey, I hope you have a peaceful life, however you can get it.

Answer 3

you should forgive, but don't forget (just like you said). She sounds mean and insensitive, but she will always be your mom. Go on with your life, get over it, but limit your contact with your mom. Visit, but don't stay the night there (if your in town, get a hotel). Don't forget means not leaving yourself open to being hurt again, but since it is your mom, you probably do want some contact (probably why your questioning it here) but you don't want to be hurt again. So the only option is to limit contact to minimize damage. Sure, she still may say some mean things, but they will hurt less if your not around to hear it.
Change your benificiary to your dad until you are married or have kids. And sue her if she sells your car, she doesn't have the legal ability to do this, and she can actually be arrested for fencing stolen property and grand theft if she does sell it, but just suing her for the money is a kinder option.

Sorry about your mom, and good luck!

Answer 4

It's one thing to forgive and forget it's another to be forgotten! If she didn't write to you, wanted to sell your car without your permission, wanted you to not return alive just so she could get $$$ then I would say FORGET HER! Take her off as your beneficiary right away! You won't NOT go to heaven by doing this. No one deserves to be hurt the way she is hurting you! Good luck and my heart goes out to you!

Answer 5

That must have hurt like Hell for her to ACTUALLY have wanted you to die JUST so she could get the insurance money!!!! I dont blame you for not forgiving her. Its hard to forgive and forget when someone was wishing you to die for their own hatred/greed/selfishness. Im so so sorry to hear that. WELL if your a Chrisitan you know Jesus would want you to find it in you heart to forgive even though its going to be very difficult to. What you shoul do is change the benefifciary to someone else and not tell her.

Answer 6

Nope! She sounds like a piece of work. You were off defending our country (thank you), and she was waiting for you to die?! That's ******!

Move on, and be around people who make you happy. You don't nee that kind of stress. Lastly, being that you are a veteran, try to take advantage of the mental health services offered to you through the VA, OR anywhere else you can talk to someone.

Much love and respect!

Answer 7

wow, this is the reason i have said for years some people should have to have a license to be a parent.

no you are not wrong. forgive, but never forget. just out of curiosity, was your relationship ok before you went? if so, maybe she has an emotional issue. that just seems so harsh for a parent to be so callous.

im glad you were able to come home safely, thanks for your service in our military.

Answer 8

Perhaps, forgive and move on is best.
Was she really serious or joking, trying to make light of a scary situation?
People deal with fear in different ways, and if she is afraid you will die, this could be her way of managing.

Answer 9

You can forgive, but choose not to let your self get burnt again...maybe in this case, it's the mom you need to forget!

Answer 10

THAT sounds like crap my mother has pulled. JUSt over look it. IF your dad is alive and you get along with him. JUSt be his friend then. I would let your mother apologise. IN the mean time take her off your beneficary asap. WEll they may have not sent your letters to you. TRY not to judge her so hard. JUSt dont go around her if she acting like this. STAR