My situation: my boyfriend hasn't made the best choices thru out his life (if it's important at all, he's been to jail and has a couple of felonies).He said he's tried to be a "square" and get a job and stuff, but I think there's more he can do.He thinks he can't live a better life, that hes been condemned to live out the life the world has given him and the only thing he can do is be a drug-dealer. He thinks I deserve better and gave me the choice to stay or leave him and be "successful".Now, I'm wonderin if he even has a chance at changin his life, I know it's a risk I'm takin being with him, I know it will be a long hard and bumpy road, but that doesn't bother me (I have a family full of criminals and drug-addicts). I love him with all my heart and am willin to walk this path with him. Now, if I can help him believe in himself, can he change his life? What can he do? Can he get a job? Should he volunteer somwhere?Are there any examples of people who have turned their life around?
2007-06-02 17:58:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sure, there are tons of people that have successfully turned their lives around. Look at Judge Mathis!
But..... you can't help someone that doesn't want help in the first place. The first thing he is going to have to do is acknowledge this and agree that it's wrong. Then he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself, stand up - be a MAN, and do what's right. Sounds like he's a weak person if he just wants to give up so easily. As harsh as it sounds, he needs to be told this. Men don't like being told they're weak, even when it's true.
I would suggest trade school, counseling, and the best thing for both of you (in my opinion) is to become part of a church w/ the religion of your choice.
Good luck!
2007-06-02 18:06:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lyndsey G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a felon myself and It is hard because a lot of time they say we can turn over a new leaf but, the system is set up for us to fail. He knows it is going to be hard but, If he looks hard enough for every 5 jobs that tell him no, there will be that 1 that says yes. It is not easy but, it is possible. I myself have my own home and am struggling but hold down a steady job and have had it for 2 years now. His best bet is to make up a resume and explain himself well to employers. There are many people with big hearts who will see that is attempting to recreate his life. I believe in him and I believe in you. You are his best support and the best thing he has to stick with him and cheer him on!!!! Good Luck...To the both of you.
2007-06-09 15:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by Lucia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can be done,changing his life and being successful.My husband was the biggest cocaine dealer in our area,so we were used to having all the money we wanted,doing whatever we wanted,had V.I.P status in every club we went to,then he went to jail for 8 months.I had to get a job and take care of our family that was very hard.When he got out it was hard for him to get used to not having all that money,he had to get a legit job,but we also opened a christian based drug counseling center that helps us while at the same time helping other people that were in our situation,we struggle with our bills now,but we are alot happier.So to answer your question yes he can change,but he has to want to.God bless you both and together with the lords help you can do it.I will be praying for you.
2007-06-02 18:33:57 · answer #3 · answered by tori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your boyfriend is a great guy....with two felony's on his record, I'm sure a good paying job will open up. He could always wear a long sleeve shirt to hide the prison tattoos.....If your smart you'll leave him and his drug dealing behind. Your going to get caught up the next time he gets stopped by the police, he will ask you to hold his dope because he has 2 strikes and don't want the 3rd. Then you'll get arrested for possession. Do you think he will tell the police it's his dope? I think not....MOVE ON
2007-06-07 09:12:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can change his life, but only if he wants to. If he wants to be a drug dealer, so be it. You have two choices. Either love it or leave it. There's no reason he can't go to school and get some sort of degree in drug counseling.
2007-06-08 17:08:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change him. You are a co dependent. You should learn all you can about co dependancy. There are meetings you can attend to learn more about the whole thing. Call Narcotics Anonymous they can direct you to meetings for the families of drug addicts. Knowledge is the best thing you can arm yourself with, for you and for him.
2007-06-02 18:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the real problem is does he want to change? if he doens't then he won't ever change no matter what you say and do. why go through that. there are so many out there get out of it perm. and find someone worthy of you. its good to be in good place and bleieve me that is not a life. its very sad and heart breaking. give yourself a chance to and go.
2007-06-08 15:40:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgot past, live present. Past is past. Present is your future.
2007-06-09 02:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by DATTA T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋