Been there and done that!!!! You have family cause you have your beautiful children.. You have to love them more then yourself at this point. I had the same issue but I have since remarried a wonderful man 8 yrs ago. But not without going thru a battered womans shelter for help in not getting the same type of man again. The shelter gave us money to live cause he was our provider at the time. They also have a program where I am from that has cars for people getting out of this kind of life. There are lots of things to look into in your community. Don't let anyone tell you DO IT FOR THE KIDS OR YOUR BAD CAUSE YOU KEEP THE KIDS IN IT. You will hear lots of crap from people that have only time to judge not help. They are the people that here it from the neighbors and choose to ignore it till someone does get hurt. For those people I dedicate the song ALYSSA LIES by Michael Jason Carroll. Plan what your going to do call a help line and they will help you plan your leaving so it will go smoother. Yes some do carry out their threats but alot don't only he knows that part. You will just have to take your chances. If you need me please email me at greenfrog775@hotmail.com.. I will be here for you to lean on.. Take care
2007-06-02 17:37:26
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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I disagree that you should call the police unless the man has committed a crime. You will only make things worse if he hasn't. Verbal abuse, unfortunately, is not a crime that the police will arrest him for, only physical abuse. If he is ever physically abusive, contact a woman's shelter and discuss with them how long they can help you should you decide to try to live there.
You need to start doing any little thing that will help you independently of your husband. Begin saving money, yes, as much as you can hide without getting caught, and hide it well.
If you can, get a job. I mean get a job, unless you absolutely cannot. Anything you can do to work your way toward independence will boost your self-esteem, and you need money badly.
Start making friends. Is that entirely your husband's fault? How did you get to this point where you have no friends? You do have to examine your own behavior too.
Are you sure there isn't a single family member in the world that you can count on?
2007-06-03 00:40:02
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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If you feel threatened you can look for a local organization. Many cities have shelters that can take you and your kids and help you get on your feet without the person abusing you. Ask a church for help it you cannot find a Woman's Safe House, Talk to some one in your area that has overcome this problem. There should be agencies available to you to help. I wish I could help more... Good Luck Friend...
2007-06-03 00:34:32
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answer #3
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answered by Proud Father of Three 1
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Try contacting the Salvation Army Family Services department in your city. Or, call the local police and explain your situation. They will not come out to your house unless you or your children are in imminent danger of losing life or limb but they can tell you about local services and shelters available in your area for women in your situation.
My best friend's husband was like that. She had already started getting legal aid to file for a divorce when he came home and tried to beat her in front of her 3 year old. He tried to smother their son and kicked him in the stomach, which is why my friend was filing for divorce.
You might want to contact Legal Aid and get that ball rolling...you don't have to have money up front...and see if you should leave the house first or serve him with divorce papers and have him move out. Just remember that your "stuff" isn't remotely as important as your health and wellbeing as well as that of your children.
2007-06-03 00:36:08
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answer #4
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answered by K. F 5
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What kind of threat does he do?
My suggestion and keep mum and don't push him to his limits. Be calm during confrontations and never cry in front of him- control your emotions. But while doing this, start to build friendship with othe people especially in your neighborhood. Seek the help of other friends you know here.
I may not know how fearful and terrified you are in your situation right now but I you need to be strong for your children. You need to stand up for them if not for yourself because they're all you have here. Are you working? Start saving money on the side. And always be ready for the worst. Should you decide to leave, never look back. There will always be people to help you.
Sometimes we tend to forget the best source of help.
2007-06-03 00:40:23
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answer #5
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answered by LIA 2
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You have to fiond online work or some work he doesn't know about, start saving and move out - and when you divorce you file for support, plain and simple since he put you in this position to begin with.
There are also homes for abused women that you can look into.
'Best of luck getting out, it's the right thing to do.
2007-06-03 00:52:19
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answer #6
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answered by Unicornrider 7
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I have been in the same situation few times. I always walked away. My last relatioship, my 'other' had given me 700$ to pay bills and took it and left while he was at work. He didn't know where I went. Secretly save money and then grab the kids, a few changes of clothes and leave.
If you don't want to do that, go to a battered womens shelter.
2007-06-03 00:33:31
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answer #7
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answered by maggie_englehart 3
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I felt bad for you until I read the word kids. Then, I felt incredibly bad for you, and I demand you not to stand up to him. He will seriously kill the heck out of you. Go to the police or someone who can help you get back on your feet. You are going to divorce this man with someone behind you backing you up. you deserve a good life-not a life of abuse.
2007-06-03 00:31:42
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answer #8
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answered by Liz 3
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Oh yes, Love. I Have truly been there! But I got out and I'm so very happy now! I even love myself now, a very recent thing, trust me. Well, I still have my times that I'm working through. It's a very long story. Let me know if you want to talk. It's not something I can relate here.
Good Luck, Love, and God Bless!
2007-06-03 00:33:00
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answer #9
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answered by Eudora 4
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First of all, talk to him about the problem.. if he will react negatively, then better to get a divorce..
if you are worried because you dont have money or what, of course, your house and lot and any other possessions are under a conjugal property.. right? so it will be divided on both of you.. your kids? it depends on whom they want to go to..
of course, its a valid reason why you will divorce him.. right?
check on the laws.. ok? ^_^ take care always..
hope you can get out of the problem with less pains.. ^_^
wishing you the best...
2007-06-03 00:34:30
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answer #10
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answered by Pi 3
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