I'm constantly having trouble with my parents...?

Question

...and I'm not yet financially independent so that I could move out or visit a psychiatrist. My parents are convinced that whatever I'm doing (social service) is wrong, that 10 years later I'll be saying "Oh my parents were so right, why didn't I listen to them", that I have no heart, personality or my own wishes, and am being brainwashed by my boyfriend. And the worst thing is that, externally they are influential, which means that there is no one else I can speak to about my daily mental tortures. What should I do?

It's no use trying to tell them to stop it. They are quite resolutely firm in belief, and of course I've tried asking them to stop this for once and all, but then they go again - "Oh, so your boyfriend has said this? Because you can't think for yourself, of course." Another important point fueling their belief is that they feed and shelter me, so I should be down on my knees in gratitude, as "others do" (although there are very few people I've heard of doing so). I know it's hopeless, but I thank them who answered.

Answer 1

Sit down and write out exactly what it is that's bothering you and why. Propose the solution you think your parents should make that would help you both to overcome the problem. Then photocopy it, one copy to each parent.

Ask them to sit with you and discuss these, especially when they are in a good mood, I will leave it to you to figure out a good way to get them in that frame of mind,

Ask them to review but not discuss just yet, point by point, what your concerns are, what they think of your solutions, and to write their answers back, independently of one another.

Do you think you can keep your cool?

Answer 2

My suggestion would be to get financially independent as soon as possible if you are of age. Always live your own life or you will regret having done something against your own better judgement and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.
I am speaking from experience about 2 personal incidents that are too serious to discuss here. One was a decision made for me and the other was a decision that I was coerced to make that I really didn't totally support. One of the decisions I laid to rest, the other will torture me for many more years apparently.
Remember just because they are influential does not mean that they are right. Try to find someone with social services, a teacher or a counselor that you can trust. Look around there is someone that you can talk to.

Answer 3

Your parents are naturally concerned about your ability to have a nice life with a career that doesn't pay well. Only time will change their minds, if anything. Just keep telling them that you're doing what you love, and you hope they understand. Don't get sucked into arguments. And get out on your own as soon as possible. It will be hard to convince them you can take care of yourself if you can't afford to live away from home!

Answer 4

If you are over 18, you have 2 choices,put up or shut up. You can move out and figure out a way to get your independence. If you choose to stay at home, you are under their roof and it will continue, now if you are under 18, you need to talk to the school counselor about general issues with your folks and maybe the counselor or your pastor or such can send you in the right direction. Yes you can afford to live on your own at 18, your parents managed to feed and raise you didn't they ?

Answer 5

i might begin with the college counselor. they may be able to relate for your emotions as i'm definite you're no longer by myself. she too can contain the instructor who then has the capability to manage the category on your desire. you don't ought to inform your mother you even went to the counselor as this may also be stored private. as for the social anxiousness, see the way you think after a positive presentation at school. it simply maybe the spice up you want. do not forget to train within the reflect to start with then take a look at a temporary presentation in entrance of your loved ones. get them to be sincere as to in which you'll make upgrades and train everyday. you are going to nonetheless be worried, however you are going to have performed it so normally that you are going to think extra comfortable. well success and desire this is helping a few.

Answer 6

first of all, get a job, if you don't have one, get out on your own, and know that they are only wanting the best for you. BUT, that you are a grown-up, you have a right to your own mistakes and that you have to make mistakes to learn. For them to butt out, find someone else to talk to about your problems, someone you can trust. You are involving your parents too much this way and so they know everything about you and your life.

Answer 7

Write your feelings down. When you wanna talk to someone or let out aggression. When you write to let agression out, throw the leter away to rid your anger. Sooner or later when you feel as if you can talk to your parents, do so. But bottling feelings is setting yourself up for disaster! Use writing as a tool until your ready to talk to your parents

Answer 8

Almost every county in every state offers free or low cost mental health services. Look in the phone book under mental health.

Answer 9

I know it will be hard, but you should confront them. Don't keep everything bottled up inside of you. Next time they make a comment like that, just tell them you're tired of it. They shouldn't hang the fact that they're supporting you over your head that severely, but I suppose it's the hand you're dealt.

Answer 10

Tell them you think they are being too abusive.... My parents were like that and i told them this, They apolagized and I got some gifts out of the whole thing too ;) they treat me with amazing respect now :)