I have been cheated on a couple of times have confronted him many times and really went thru an emotional turmoil each time then i decided to take to get a grip of my life and met wonderful sumone online whom i have been talkin wit for a year now. It gave me sum relief and sumone to turn to. I have children so thats why i stuck on the marriage even though i am miserable. Now suddenly he has turned into a new leaf and here I am in this secret online r'ship and Im the one cheating. How do u reconcille this? Pls advise
2007-06-02 17:22:16 · 14 answers · asked by misha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
End your on-line relationship. If you decide you don't want to be with your husband please end that marriage first. Then you are free to pursue whoever you want.
One other thing to consider... Internet relationships are very risky. People can pretend to be whoever they want to "create" and VERY often, they are not honest about who they are and what kind of person they are. Especially since you have children you need to be very careful since they could be endangered by this unknown person.
2007-06-02 17:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
IN the first place, before you decided to go online and check out for other people, you should have tried to meet halfway with your husband why the "cheating" happens.
See what you did trying to get back at your husband by cheating also is self- defeating. I have attempted the same thing several times but that didn't get me nowhere trying to communicate with my man.
I suggest that you have to stop your discrete affair online. after all, you are not even sure of this person that you met online. It's not a good place to find a "real" person. Don't blame yourself for cheating though. Just start focusing more on your children. And fight for your marriage. Be there for him and support him all the time. If cheating continues to happen, take your kids with you and move out. You live a miserable life because you let the concept of being married control you when you have other options.
It may be very difficult to start over without your cheating husband but if staying with him makes you unhappy and makes you do terrible things that could also compromise your kids, I guess you have to make a smart choice.
2007-06-03 00:32:50 · answer #2 · answered by LIA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, here is my thought on cheating. Everyone has needs and when you are in a relationship and those needs aren't being met, you seek out to find that empty space in your relationship, although it is wrong in a marriage to cheat. It is human nature. Don't hate yourself for it. If you told him, what could he really say? OMG you have cheated on me. He has cheated too. Have you actually been with this other man sexually? From what you say, it is just an online thing, so technically, you haven't cheated. But some people may find that talking to another person in a more than friendly kind of way is cheating. I would come clean in your situation because he really can't talk himself. If you have strong feelings for the other man, I would suggest dumping your hubby and moving on. You don't need someone who has cheated on you a couple of times. Trust in important in every relationship, whether it be among friends or husbands. Cheating is one of those things that can be worked out. trust can be gained back so if you want to and are willing to forgive and him to forgive you, then it can be done. If you don't want to come clean and you want to start being faithful to your husband, then you should just loose the other man and your husband doesn't really have to find out. I mean if you have not done anything physical with him. But be aware that they say secrets always be revealed. Do I think you should feel guilty for what you did? No, in your situation, a lot of people would have done the same thing, whether they admit to it or not. I don't think you are a bad person I just think you are a little sad in your marriage. You should never be stuck in a marriage if you are not truly happy. Even if it is for the kids sake, because one day, the kids will leave home and here you are, you have wasted your whole life on a man you are not happy with. You have to think about the future too in certain situations. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find true happiness!!!
2007-06-03 00:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by Brittany M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say whether or not you have met your on-line friend in person or just chat on the net. If you are simply chatting on the net, you are not cheating. Yet! Before you get too carried away, I would dissolve the relationship ( marriage) before moving on to another. You don't want to start a new relationship until all the hurt and turmoil from the existing relationship is over with. You deserve better than what your husband is doing to you, and the sooner you get out the better. No relationship can withstand the trials and tribulations of life without trust. You say you can't leave your husband because of the children. Believe me, you are not doing yourself or your children any favors by staying with someone you do not love or trust. They can pick up on this and you are teaching them that it is okay to let someone treat you like this. I think it is nice to have someone to talk to, but do not pursue any romantic ideas with this on-line friend until you are able to stand on your own and get your self-esteem back.
2007-06-03 00:32:52 · answer #4 · answered by pj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you really cheating in this online relationship or have you only created a pretend relationship with partly a real friendship attached, and that is based somewhat on his sympathy for your situation and that you can tell him how you feel about being cheated on and he is sympathetic?
Have you met this person in real life?
It sounds to me like you have created a safe relationship with a person in order to have a little secret yourself...which is not so much a form of revenge but is act of independence, and perhaps distancing, from your spouse.
And if you've been cheated on a couple times, looking elsewhere for emotional support really isn't out of line, is it.
2007-06-03 00:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You make a choice! Do you love him still at all? Either give up the affair and turn over a new leaf yourself or end it. It does no good living like that. Especially where there are childrn involved. Best wishes to you. Just be honest with yourself and you'll have your answer.
2007-06-03 01:38:21 · answer #6 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs might not might a right, but that that wrong is so right. Only these lying people on here will tell you thing like that. Girl you do what make you happy, because these people on here are probably cheating too. Or to blind to see that they are being cheated on by there spouses.
2007-06-03 19:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you're only flirting on-line, things haven't gone too far. Now that your hubby has turned a new leaf, just stop what you're doing on-line, don't mention it at all, and resolve to work on things with your hubby instead.
2007-06-03 00:39:37 · answer #8 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not, he has changed his ways has yet to be seen. Now, you are almost as guilty as he. You need step back from both your marriage and this relationship. You need to decide what you want, and you need to end one relationship before entering another. Your kids will do better once you have decide what you want.
2007-06-03 00:42:26 · answer #9 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if you are in a relationship then two wrong don't make any thing right, if you feel that the situation is not what
you want then you need to do the right thing. time to close
one book before starting a new one.
2007-06-03 00:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋