I'm a fourty year old man and feel life is passing by...?

Question

I'm fourty years old and feel that life is set and I have nothing to do but ride the plane down... I am married to a good woman but we just seem to lack compatibility. I don't see ever being happy...

Answer 1

Take her to some romantic place

Answer 2

Do yourself a favor and read The Law of Attraction by Jerry and Esther Hicks or watch The Secret Behind The Secret.
Might even be good to go through the video of the extended
" What The Bleep Do We Know?" if it suits your tastes. There is a ton of info there that can re-establish balance by providing a very different perspective than what we have been programmed to follow in the past.
Personally I went through the meat grinder and did not find an alternative till I turned 43. I now see that year as one of the very best in my entire life. It is still getting better and better all the time. For example I decided to father a child at age 58 and you cannot imagine how much fun this has been. The better it gets, the better it gets. Joy to All.

Answer 3

You are reaching a point of uncertainty, where biological changes would make us behave differently. This is adjustment as we grow from puberty to elderly stage. There is no running away because it just comes naturally, especially moments of sadness, happiness, uncertainties, complacency etc. This gaping period has recourse in creating a nuisance out of us. People around will suddenly experience a mood swing in us, which we are no more the caring and loving person as before. Can be any behaviors that defy the usual-self becoming an acceptance as before. Between partners if the mood swings by chance are almost at once, then the relationship will route to jeopardy. You are apparently in this league, however dialogue is essential in locating the cause of things. Both are no stranger, and rightly so for you to trash out those uncertainties with her. For all you know she could be experiencing the same dilemma.

Lastly, a breakaway from social, family, and work entanglement will foster a new lease of relationship. Both of you will be invigorated before the time is through.

Answer 4

40 is still young.. maybe not to a 20 yr old, but to a 60 yr old--you are very young. It is all perspective. If you are not happy with your wife, why not divorce her? Or try and go to couple's therapy.

Let me ask you this.. Are you EVER happy? because all of tend to think that happiness is an continuous state that other people have--but we don't.. That is not true, happiness has ebbs and flows. It is normal to get depressed and unhappy sometimes-- and if you are ALWAYS unhappy, you need to make a change...

I'd suggest going to a psychologist and try to work out your feelings, and what is causing you discontent.. and if it is your marriage, then dissolve it..b/c if you are not happy, that means she might be unhappy, too. good luck.

And to the 48 yr old pervert up there that found a 19 yr-old asian chick on match.com--you are a sicko. You need to get some help, too.

Answer 5

I feel you lack a goal in life!! ..40s are suppose to be very tricky ..you have peaked in your career...your mortgage is partially paid (hopefully) and you start looking to save for kid's trust fund ... you don't have any excitment in life except bunch of bills...

I would really try to get a goal such as learning a new language ..working to help a cause and being passionate about learning something interesting and deep such as Quantum physics ..which should keep you busy till the end of your life...

younger life is interesting because we have so much to explore ...but once we give up exploring we get bored ..that is why we have soaps like Desperate House wives ..because they lack the "time" to explore ..they do their own explorations ..last line is just a joke...

Answer 6

damn i do not know what to say other than if you have kids and seem happy around the children. everyone has hard times. I am only 20 but i come from a divorced family. being forty beleive it or not you are in an age of "mid life crisis" and mistakes are usually made. if you feel that leaving this "good" woman and you do have kids be sure to be completely in your childs life....my dad did and i still had a great time but without the fighting.

Answer 7

Once you find your identity and I am sure you have. Gain inner-peace. Know that you are loved. Enjoy your life. Try doing new things. Or do old things in a different way. There is much to learn in your life. You will be surprised when you stumble onto something new that you haven't discovered yet. And once you realize you have done everything, teach others what you have learned. You can make a big difference in your own way.

Answer 8

I am sorry that you are feeling this way, it is sad to me, I don't know, I worry about going to fast with the things that I do and causing other people in life some real problems in their life like perhaps financially and I sure don't want to do that, so that is contrary to my goals. I want to always do right, but if they don't understand what I am doing and I am going to fast then maybe I should slow down. Maybe you should slow down some too? I don't really know if this is the answer for either one of us though? I don't know?

Answer 9

Happiness has to be worked at. What have you done to improve or increase your happiness that would benefit both you and your wife? Try something new and you may even find a hobby you enjoy together. Donating your time to help others is very rewarding too.

Answer 10

That is so sad. Why don't you try courting her again (like you did before you were married)? It's sounds corny but sounds like to need to get some romance back in your life. What made you fall in love with her in the first place? Explore with your spouse. Good luck!

Answer 11

This is a sign of midlife crises. You have some serious decisions to make bud. Take time out and think things over without feeling pressurized.