I always feel like I have to prove myself, like I am not good enough.?

Question

Also, I easily feel guilty for many things. It's like if I get an A I would feel guilty about it, and if I didn't I feel bad all the same. Going and doing some shopping makes me feel crappy as well, because then I feel like by doing so I am only thinking about myself, etc. This may seem silly to you, but everything is so difficult. It mean it seems like no matter what I do I don't feel like I'm good enough. Help?

Deep down I know I am the man, but yet I still feel this way.

Answer 1

Sounds like a streak of perfectionism with a strong side of altruism.

You're racing against a ghost in your head, an imagined ideal. When that ghost clears a hurdle you feel you must also, and as effortlessly.

As hard as it is, love yourself, flaws and all. If you try, try your best with your whole heart, love and own the result. Your best is all you can give...let the ghost wander on into oblivion. Live and love in the real world, with it's limits, surprises, and letdowns. Have a passion, a goal, a dream, that you haul a stone to form a hill that you can walk to and achieve your dream. I have walked where you're walking, and there will always be one more challenge, one more risk to your self-esteem.

Be proud of what you have achieved already, and let it give you confidence that you can do great things. But no one is perfect, and no one should have to be. Your best effort is all you can give, in any situation. Accomplishments are great things -- but don't rest on past performances. If it is important to you, always give your best effort.

Reward yourself when you do well. If material things are a problem, walk in the park, do something nice for yourself.

And when you fail -- and you will stumble -- learn from it, constructively and objectively. It's not how far you fall, but how high you bounce. The next challenge doesn't care about the last one.

Not least, but last...forgive yourself. A famous writer said 'Humanity is the only animal that puts itself in too small a cage.' The past is the past, unchangable, but it does not predict the future. Not all the blame and hard feelings of a lifetime will change one fact. So don't wait for a sign from the heavens that it's okay to treat yourself with respect and compassion and understanding.

Forgive, accept, and through that acceptance, let go of the past and be wholly in the present where you need to be, to affect your future.

Best effort, accept, forgiveness...under a big umbrella term called "self-respect".

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

We all go through times in our lives when we feel a little disoriented. It could be simply due to exhaustion, the result of taking on too many jobs and obligations. It could be after a major crisis. Or it could be doing the things you feel you should be doing, instead of the things that really matter to you. All this can take a toll on our energy level, our motivation to get through each day.

Whatever the reason, if you're feeling a little out-of-whack, and you haven't a clue why, it may be time to start re-focusing your life.

This means taking a step back, taking a deep breath, evaluating your life, and listening to your inner voice. Now for some people, this means taking a holiday, which is fine if it works for you. For others, a vacation may mean additional stress - the stress of preparing your work to go on when you're gone, planning where to go, where to stay, and the withdrawal symptoms when you get back.

A holiday is great if it gives you the time and space to relax and re-prioritise your life. If not, you can refocus your life right now.

The best thing you can do for your body is to give it enough rest. This has to be done before any refocusing can begin. In such competitive, fast-paced times, most of us are not getting the amount of rest we need. Many of us might think that we can get away with five or six hours of sleep a day, just because we don't feel tired for the rest of the day. But this is simply our bodies getting used to less sleep, not necessarily an indication of what our bodies actually need to perform at their peak.

Get enough sleep, at least the eight hours recommended amount a day, and you'll find that you can think more clearly, work more efficiently, and have more energy and motivation.

Next, examine your life schedule and re-evaluate your priorities. What's taking up your time and your energy? Are they productive? Are they improving you in any way? Are they things you enjoy or at least things that make you money or develop relationships? Are there any time and spirit wasters that you feel are your obligations? Be stringent with your evaluations and throw out the tasks that are not benefitting you.

And figure out how you're using your time. True, a day's hours are finite, but if you examine your daily actions, you'll find some things that take up more than their fair share of your time. For example, do you find yourself checking your email several times a day and typing out detailed, carefully-worded essays? Are you sending, re-sending, and forwarding your time away?

Identify other aspects of your life which may be wasting your time and energy. These are the little leeches sucking the life from you. Get rid of them, and refocus your priorities on things that truly fulfill you.

Answer 3

This does not sound silly to me at all! On my honeymoon I would not buy anything for myself because I felt like I was being selfish. I know exactly how your feeling, and though I may not have gotten over it myself, I try and remind myself that I am a person too, and I deserve to be happy just like everyone else. I think it show that you are a very sensitive, caring person, but remember you need to be happy as well. It's not bad for you to do something for yourself, or to get A's, and you don't need to prove yourself, be who you are! I know it's easier said than done, just try and remind yourself every once and awhile that it's okay to be happy, and it's not selfish to do things for just you!! I hope you are able to realize that!

Answer 4

You feel bad because your emotions are down.
Our emotions are controlled by chemicals in our brains.
The amount of chemicals we make for our brains is based on how high our metabolism us.
The higher the metabolism, the better we feel.
You push your metabolism up with aerobic exercising.
The Step is an easy aerobic exercise. Walmart and Target sell it.
Just do The Step when you wake up and before you go to bed. 5-15 minutes each time.
You will feel a LOT better!!

Answer 5

Maybe if you donated money or food to underprivliged kids in Africa(or other) you might feel like your helping others, which may make you feel good about yourself
This way when you shop you can spend money but know that you're still giving money to a good cause
I hope this helps

Answer 6

You seem to be falling prey to a tendency towards introspection. This is one of the characteristics of an introvert with a very sensitive nature.

The key is to define your life with a sense of balance:
for yourself and for others.
You must learn to celebrate and enjoy life, not worry your way through it. Don't compare yourself to others; be the best you can be. Take a calm and realistic approach toward achieving your goals. Plan your life, and be willing to work it out, evaluating it as necessary when you see the need for change. Try to be at peace with yourself and others as much as possible, and be at peace with God.

I believe that it is best to submit your life to God, and to do His will, and that this is the key to balance and integration.

Answer 7

The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative. Here's some theory:


The Erikson life-stage virtues, in the order of the stages in which they may be acquired, are:

hope
will
purpose
competence
fidelity
love (in intimate relationships, work and family)
caring
wisdom

Each of Erikson's stages of psychosocial development are marked by a conflict, for which successful resolution will result in a favourable outcome, for example, trust vs. mistrust, and by an important event that this conflict resolves itself around, for example, weaning.

Stage One Oral-Sensory: from birth to one, trust vs. mistrust, feeding;
Stage Two Muscular-Anal: 1-3 years, autonomy vs. doubt, toilet training;
Stage Three Locomotor: 3-6 years, initiative vs. inadequacy, independence;
Stage Four Latency: 6-12 years, industry vs. inferiority, school;
Stage Five Adolescence: 12-18 years, identity vs. confusion, peer relationships;
Stage Six Young Adulthood: 18-40 years, intimacy vs. isolation, love relationships;
Stage Seven Middle Adulthood: 40-65 years, generativity vs. stagnation, parenting;
Stage Eight Maturity: 65 years until death, integrity vs. despair, acceptance of one's life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_prayer
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
(Fritz Perls, 1969)

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_prayer"

Answer 8

is there any righteous among you, no not one, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God..(the book of Romans i think) maybe u feel inadequate before the eyes of God,and your practicing an eastern form of ritual called self denial.some philosophy's take it to starvation fasting,or inflicting pain to ones self,to feel justified before God.this is a man kinds way of feeling righteous,therefore forgiven.the only one to go to is Jesus and ask him to forgive u of all your sins and he most certainly will.and all the guilt will fall off your shoulders .it can be difficult to reason with being good to ones self when there are starving children in the world, worse off than you, but that is not your fault.getting right with God and praying for the worlds starving etc. its more effective than denying ones self of nice things ,rather... have God use u to help others.worked for me.

Answer 9

You suffer from depression and low self esteem. You also suffer guilt from your homosexual tendencies. I suggest you seek professional therapy or at least counseling.

Answer 10

You don't need to prove yourself to me.

I accept you as you are today. Tomorrow you may be different. Tomorrow, I'll accept you for who you are then.