Is this a disorder?

Question

Is it a disorder when someone puts theirself in bad situations in order for others to feel sorry for her? Or even lie about things sometimes to get people to feel sorry for her? She also then makes me feel guilty because she is in a bad situation that she brought on herself. And I am so sick of hearing everyone say 'poor ---.' Also, very sick of her whining about doing something that she did not have to do in the first place-she just did it to make others think she is such a good person.

This is a close relative and it is really irritating. It seems like I am the only one that can see through it.

She also has a ton of health problems but won't go to a doctor and wont quit smoking, then whines constantly about how bad she feels.

Is this some kind of disorder? I can't stand it when people won't help themselves and just sit around and whine. Or am I just being mean?

Answer 1

Munchhausen syndrome is close

Answer 2

you're not being mean, but i can see why you would think that. sometimes people crave atention and they dont know how to get it. they cant distingwish between good atention and bad.

in order to have healthy good estem, its to do estemable acts. perhaps she never learned the difference. also, if she does have a lot of health problems, she could be in a lot of pain all the time. that could be the reason for the complaining.
or maybe you should talk to her about what she's doing and why it bothers you. talking always helps.

Answer 3

If being pathetic is a disorder she has it. I would put distance between myself and that person. No your not being mean. I would also find her annoying to be around. Some people are like that. They want attention be it good or bad. Doesn't mean the rest of us have to jump to their call.

Answer 4

She probably has a personality disorder. Not being a psychiatrist I have no idea which one but she should see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. However, it is a disorder which is hard to change. I've read up about it because my sister has one; they're hard to be around for any length of time.

Answer 5

Its hard to say whether this is a mental disorder or not. Certainly, the signs you have described can be classified as criteria for several different disorders.

Suggest to your family member to seek counseling. If she does not, then my advice is to do whatever you need to do in order to preserve your own mental well-being.

You can try lines like this: Gee ____, I've heard you say that several times lately. Tell me, what have you done to make it better?

Good luck.

Answer 6

Its called I need attention. Same type of disorder that women who harm their children for attention. Next time she whines about it tell her a story about a small child with cancer and she should be glad she is better off.

Answer 7

Factitious Disorder. Essentially, "playing the sick role". It is closely related to Hypochondria.

Answer 8

Your relative sounds like they may have factitious disorder in which the truth may be stretched in a dramatic way. You can find this in any mental health manual. Since it bugs you so much, you can ignore your relatives desire for attention or confront her.

Answer 9

Somewhere along the line she has learned that being a "victim" is: attention gettting, cool, natural, dramatic, powerful, fun, easy. Maybe she learned it from her parents, tv, her culture. Or maybe she has beeen a victim or something and doesnt know any other way to behave.

Answer 10

It's a life script this person plays out over and over again- transactional analysis calls it the martyr syndrom. Annoying but highly effective for the on who plays it.

Answer 11

Well your not being mean its just her life and if she is getting herself in trouble its her problem and she should realize that shes doing something wrong and she needs to help herself but you could assist just don't try to be in control.