how old is too old to have a baby?

Question

a good friend of mine called me today to ask if i had delivered my baby yet. (she lives out of state and i havent seen her for about 5 months). at the end of our conversation she threw a complete curveball at me, however. she proudly announced that at the age of 51 she was officially 13 weeks pregnant with her first child and asked me if i would be the god parent of her baby. i told her that i would gladly be her child's god mother before asking her about her prergnancy. turns out she was on fertility drugs for 3 years after trying to conceive naturally for 6 years with her husband. i never even knew!!

she's fit for her age but had a knee injury last year which has been acting up as of late causing her to limp, and her doctors have said she may need to use a wheelchair later in pregnancy. i'm so happy for her but i can't help but think what she's doing is unfair for her child... i'll hopefully be visiting her in august with my baby and was wondering about ways i can help her out?

Answer 1

Oh wow that is really to old to have a child. I think its unfair to have a child when you know that at best you probably wont be able to live long enough to be a good parent. That so cheats the child out of so much. I know friends who have older parents and I see what they missed out on. I can understand her desire to have her own child but there needs to be a cut off date. I think any female past the age of 40 shouldn't have a child. I know people live longer now but still the body wears out. Will she and her hubby be able to run and play like other parents and will they live to see their child get married and have children?

Ok now off my soap box...I think since she will be having her first child give her all the advice you found to be helpful to you. Be there for her when she has questions if you have that kind of friendship. Even if you feel like I do don't be negative as its probably not your place and really its too late to do anything about it. Be as supportive as you can as I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking the way i do.

Answer 2

Hi.. Has your baby actually been diagnosed with measles? I would say that some children suffering from measles have relatively mild symptoms and suffer no complications..However you should get medical assistance if you suspect your child is seriously ill... CALL A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY IF: -breathing becomes slow and hard for baby to breathe - if baby cannot be woken or becomes confused -starts shaking r fitting -develops a severe headache or neck ache -or if seems extremely ill CALL A DOCTOR WITHIN 24HRS IF: if child has a severe earache -if fever persists for more tyhan 4 days after rash appeared -or if unable to keep fluids down because of vommiting or diarrehoea.. As for not having no fever usually child will develop a fever between (39.5 - 40C , 103 - 104c) but will reach its peak on day 4 or 5... The best you can do at home is keep child well hydrated with regular drinks ensure plenty of rest give infant paracetamol if feeling groggy and close curtains to make more comfortable... I would like to add I am not a doctor and if you are truely worried then go to doctors.. use your mothers instinct only you know your child best.. and its always better to be safe than sorry! I hope this has helpeLittlele! Hope lil one gets better soon

Answer 3

It is really a matter of the mother to be.. If they are fit and active and can carry through a pregnancy with no complications then what harm could be done.. To me however I feel that 40 would have to be the cute off limit on having a baby.. Any age after that you are taking a chance of not being there to watch them grow if god forbid anything happens.. I am aware that women are built and made to carry children, but taking a chance like that is somewhat foolish, and with her being at 51 already that would put her well into her 60-70s when this child graduates.. I am happy for your friend dont get me wrong this kind of miracle is one that I would not pass up if the shoe was on my foot.. Just there for her, and support her through it all. It may be hard in the end.. Best of Luck to your friend and Congratulations to the both of you.....

Answer 4

At her age there could be negative health effects on both the baby and her. There also is the whole issue of her being around 70 when her child graduates high school. As long as her and her husband are happy and excited for the child, I wish them both the best of luck. Be careful when you visit her in August. You don't want to put too much stress on you and baby so soon after giving birth.

Answer 5

I don't think it's anyone's business but theirs. If they have the means to take care of a baby, the capacity to love it, WHO CARES? So, she spends part of her pregnancy in a wheelchair. It happens.People in worse situations have babies all the time, probably not as healthy as your 51 yr old friend. How is it "unfair" to the child ? Parents can die at any age so don't try that cop out. Why did you agree to be the godmother if you so disagree with the fact that she's pregnant ? ANd remember, you asked this question before you get defensive. I am merely giving my opinion, which is , It's noone else's business.

Addendum***** If she is healthy, her odds of having a healthy baby are great. It's really miraculous that she tried for so long. I can't imagine how happy she must be. I'm sure she'll deal with whatever comes.

Answer 6

That's no longer too old. One issue is how healthy the mother is and could she bear up to the physical stressors of not only pregnancy but also the rigors of caring for a toddler. Another issue is about the condition of her eggs. Our eggs are formed while we are still fetuses and they age. The older our eggs are, the higher the risk of genetic problems with our babies. The third issue is related to is she young enough to be around to see the child through childhood. And, is one prepared to put an 18-28 year old through the loss of a mother? Genetic counseling during early pregnancy and healthier older moms help. Medical advances are going to allow for even older couples to have children.

Answer 7

I was thinking 45 or so....I guess whenever your body stops menstruating then you are definately too old. But in your friends case...she has been trying for 9 years to have her first baby so she started trying at 41-42 years old...and I know how determined you become after having trouble falling pregnant, so I understand her trying for that long until she was successful.

Good on her!! I hope she has a good safe pregnancy!!

Answer 8

My mom was 43 going on 44 when I was born in 1962 and 48 going on 49 when my sister was born in 1967. she passed away at the age of 78 in 1996. my sis and I didn't miss out on anything while we wee growing up. Oh BTW she had her 1st child in 1952 at the age of 34. My sibs and I all turned out fine.

Answer 9

OMG she is older than my mama I'm 24 wow that is way old. I think that past 45 is pushing it. I'm all for girl power and female empowerment but to me after 45 why bother. Like I said that's my thing I wouldn't necessarily say I'm against older women having babies some people feel really strongly about that I kinda don't care either way!

Answer 10

51 is tooooooo old. that can effect the babies health a lot. The older you get the older you eggs become, since you born with all the egg in your body since you born. theres a greater likely hood for the baby to come put with a birth deflect of sickness of some sort. The young you have you child the better for you and your baby.

Around your mid 30s should be the last few year to get pregnant.