I'm a black woman 29 he is 35 white. He is the first white guy i have given a chance to but i still can't bring myself to be intimate with him. He is such a wonderful guy.probably the best man i have met in person. I really enjoy spending time with him but whenever it comes to us getting close i suddenly freeze & i suddenly notice his race. i don't understand why he is so patient with me. He could easily walk away from me and & himself an other girl(because he is drop dead generous, he has his own money making business and every thing women want in an ideal man). I have been seeing him for 6 months & i have met his whole family and he introduced me to them as his girlfriend. Our friends know we are a couple but they don't know we have never MADE LOVE. He has tried but i have given every excuse in the whole. I often spend weekends at his house. we do share a bed, we have kissed and yes we ve both seen each other naked (so it has nothing to do with my body).Read on at the bottom
2007-06-02 12:19:18 · 23 answers · asked by good_but_naughty_gal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just have too many people from my side discouraging me. I have heard alot of negative things about WHITE MAN especially about them in BED. I need help to loosen up. I think he has waited long enough but I do not know how to let go of my fear. I know some of you may say I’m too old to be playing games but this is how i honestly feel. I really want this to work. I do not want to lose this great man.
How can i stop noticing his race and start see the man I’m falling for. Of course me friends are not helping the situation because they dislike white people especially white man. they think a white man "will always be a racist when it comes to a black woman". I think it's these words from history that are stuck with me...if you know American history you will know that that back then some slave owners raced black women..
PLEASE help..Serious advice only
2007-06-02 12:20:47 · update #1
get over it..white men are great in bed, I'm sure every race has some guys who are not good in bed..some men just have to be taught as what feels good. If he is not a virgin, I'm sure he can't be horrible. Sleep with him with the lights off the first few times and just enjoy the feelings and stop thinking about the color of his skin. Once you sleep with him, you might wonder why in the world you waited so long and what the big deal was in the first place. If you can't get past it, it may be time to call it quits and find yourself a black man
2007-06-02 12:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by countrygrl278 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the racism is coming from the ones who are focusing on his race. What the hell does slavery have to do with your relationship which is over 140 years after the fact? That's the same as saying that Black men that are with white women is "slave's revenge" .You were never a slave and I'll betcha a buck and a coke that he's never owned any slaves. On the other hand, just because your having trouble being intimate with a white guy doesn't mean you're a racist. White guys may not be your thing. Nothing wrong with that. I'm white and know plenty of white guys who aren't attracted to black women. Me? I say there are Porches and Pintos in every color. There's a black woman that lives above me that is an absolute Goddess and there's a white woman across the street that's just as hot.
Race obviously isn't an issue with him or he wouldn't be with you in the first place. Sounds to me like he's completely in love with you.
Follow your heart and forget what everyone else thinks. It's your life, not theirs. Sounds to me like you could make an awsome couple. Either way, good luck to you!
2007-06-02 19:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by clayp72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are the raciest. If he does not see your color then why do you. I dated a black girl for a while she was really hot but lived for today and did not care where the rent would come from. She could not hold a job or keep an apartment and that was not my Idea to split up She could not add any color and I am Blond hair blue eyed.I was called n lover and I always said I was proud of it but I was the N not her. If you have troubles with him being white now call it off as it well not get better for you. There is people that well say words that well bother you. I was called where I lived the white N so the words never bothered me. My daughter is dating a 1/2 black man and she is 1/2 white 1/2 Latino he has class is smart and she sees no color just his inter person. Either be able to be called N lover and have it not bother you or get out of it now. I date Filipino now. Was married to Latino women./ Words from no one changes my feelings for a good person no matter what color or race they are you should be the same or get out and never date a white. We do not live in slavery any more. My ancestors was slaves to pay for their trip here as I am told. Not just Blacks was sold in to slaves but whites could work off the money that they owed.
2007-06-02 19:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by kiss4u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a white woman with a black man. Before I met my sweety I often wondered what a mixed couple saw in each other and many other things simply because I did not know. Now when I am with him I don't look at the race. I can't. I love him so much that it is almost impossible for me to see. I look at the person inside. I see someone so wonderful that I can't see the color. When I do it's the most wonderful thing ever. Is it possible that you maybe wonder what others think? Well don't!! In this day in age if they only thing you worry about is their outside then consider yourselft blessed!!
2007-06-02 19:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God help me I hope I dont sound racist when I say this. I am a white woman I dont believe in mixing as for my self but it is your life and you live it as you see fit. I do know history and yes there are alot of rasict people out there but it is all rases not just white or black. I work with a few black people and i treate them as my friend that is what they are and I dont care what happened way back when. They are as human as I am. If you truely loved this guy the color of his skin would not matter. He obviously loves you so what in the world do you care what your friends think. I love my husband and if my family and friends had a problem with it as good of as a man he is theyd just get over it or not Id do what makes me happy. Does he make you happy? Have you ever Doughted his love? If you answer no to these questions then what on earth are you waiting for. This is not way back when this is here and now and he is waiting for you.
2007-06-02 19:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is 2007, and we have all changed. I am a white woman with a black husband, and people told me not to be with a black man because all they do is beat on their women. My husband is wonderful and has NEVER laid a hand one me. So you need to decide what YOU want, and get over the whole race issue. I have had some wonderful white men that were awesome in bed. Get it together or you are going to loose a wonderful man.
2007-06-02 19:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by Susan R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...
I'm in an interracial marriage, and I have a hard time dealing with the fact that this kind of thinking still exists.
Isn't love hard enough to find without bringing all these other people's ideas of what you should and shouldn't be doing into it?
My suggestion, get some nice wine, have a great meal, and tell him what everyone has said, but that you want him to make love to you.
Prove all the doubters wrong, and just go for it honey. He may end up being the exact kind of lover you've been looking for all your life. It sounds like he's got it everywhere else.
2007-06-02 19:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by KGene1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want you to know first hand, I am a North American Indian. I have deat with a lot of racism living in Canada, Essex Ontario is the worst place you want to live if you are anything but white. If he has waited this long, I'm quite sure he'll wait to be accepted. My personnal interracial marrige didn't work, but there are many that do. Or whatever the mutual decision was made. ever. C'mon, a guy who has slept with you , and you haven't made love? You answered your own question. THIS guy, respects you...and he's proud of you. To be honest, I wish I was in your position. I would bet my bottom dollar, that this guy believes all other guys were him. Take the risk, our world was built on them. Get back to me, I'm a sucker for 'fairy tale' ending.
2007-06-02 19:57:08 · answer #8 · answered by rollin_rollin_rollin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about what other people i.e., your friends are saying about this guy. I just can't relate to you "suddenly notic[ing] his race". Okay, he is white and you are black--his race will not change overnight. YOU are the one that will have to work this out for yourself...Such a shame that your friends are racist...People are people and love has no colour or boudaries. Good luck to you.
2007-06-02 19:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question. YOU are being the racist one, because you are listening to your friends, and letting them convince you of such nonsense. Obviously, this guy is in love with you, or he would have been gone long ago. Your attitude will never change about being intimate with him unless you choose to follow your heart instead of listening to your friends.
2007-06-02 19:29:48 · answer #10 · answered by pressman22001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋