My fiance is 2 months pregnant, and hasn't been in the mood for about a month and a half. She use to love it when I would "touch her," so in these VERY rare instances that we'll actually have sex, she doesn't want me to "touch her" down there, which was a SURE FIRE way she'd end in a climax. It makes me feel unattractive, and undesirable. I've tried talking to her about it, but her response is "I just don't want you to." It's actually giving me a somewhat of a depressed feeling. I really don't like this. What should I do, or what CAN I do?
2007-06-02 12:11:36 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My last tri-mester I always wanted it!!
2007-06-02 12:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you and my husband are in the same boat. I havent wanted it at all throughout my entire pregnancy. Women can go either way when pregnant. Either they can be exceptionally "in the mood" or dont want you to touch us with a ten foot pole. It has nothing to do with whether we are attracted to you. We love you fellas. Its just we dont feel desireable and in the first trimester we feel a bit nauseaous. So any movement can make us ready to throw up. We also tend to be really tired and moody too. Its the hormones honestly. I know its hard to believe but thats whats causing this. We went from regular hormone levels to extreme levels.
What you can do is let her be in charge of the sex for awhile. It may be few and far between especially right now, but that will make her feel a little more in control of the situation. Remind her of why you are with her, not just by saying :oh your so pretty hunny" but show her. Run her a bubblebath, or if she can stomach it, cook her favorite food. Take her on a romantic date, without the expectation of sex. RECONNECT! There is going to be a point where her body wont be hers anymore, it will be hers and baby's. Make her feel sexy. Some days it wont work but what have you got to lose? Hope this works for you.
2007-06-02 12:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being pregnant makes everything feel different. Even "down there" Sometimes women want it more, sometimes not at all. Sometimes they don't like the "regular" things because it's uncomfortable or even painful. Pain is usually not a turn on.
Cut her some slack and try to be flexible. This is just the beginning. There are going to be plenty of mood swings, so you'll have to adapt a little.
2007-06-02 12:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by Kat H 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the first 3 month of pregnancy are a nightmare for many women. Our hormone levels are rapidly changing, we're tired, we hurt, and everything makes us sick (sometimes not all). Second, during pregnancy some women don't have much of a sex drive and others have a high sex drive. It just depends on her and whats going on with her body. Maybe you two can sit down and figure something out that will work for both of you so neither one of you feels bad.
2007-06-02 12:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by angelmomma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it another month. The first three months of pregnancy most women are completely uninterested in sex. Its a hormonal thing and has nothing to do with you. When I was about 3 or 4 months pregnant I got really interested in sex. But it hurt to touch my clit through my whole pregnancy - its probably physically uncomfortable or even painful for her, maybe she just doens't want to tell you. Why don't you just ask her what she wants you to do. Tell her you want her to enjoy it but you don't know what she wants.
2007-06-02 12:47:35 · answer #5 · answered by Brandi C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand. I'm 11 weeks pregnant, and I haven't been in the mood. I'm so nauseated that the idea of sex just reminds me of being seasick. Also, I'm so exhausted by the time my daughter goes to bed, I just can't think about anything except sleep.
Don't worry, though - it won't last. Most women regain interest in sex during the second trimester. In about a month, she should be fine.
2007-06-02 12:18:31 · answer #6 · answered by stormsinger1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
her hormones should even out a little in the second trimester, but some women just don't want to "do it" while pregnant and others can go the other way, I do know that the women parts become more sensitive while pregnant due to increase blood flow. If she doesn't even out all you can do is talk to her about how it makes you feel, and maybe there are other things she can do to make you still feel attractive, even if it is not in bed.
2007-06-02 12:17:23 · answer #7 · answered by unhappyinin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. I think all pregnant people go through this in stages but...most importantly explain to her how you feel. You don't need her pushing you away. The pregnancy effects you just as much as it does her (just not physically for you) Try to play the more romantic aspect of it and try getting her from that aspect. Make sure she knows how much you love her. Just be sure to tell her how neglected you feel. Good Luck! :-) and congrats on the baby. (she does know that having sex won't harm the baby right?)
2007-06-02 12:17:32 · answer #8 · answered by amandaholes19 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At first girls are weirded out by it. I know I was. But it soon changed for me. I want sex now all the time and im 8 months pregnant. I was like your wife the first 3 months.
2007-06-02 16:41:57 · answer #9 · answered by Nia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women in their first trimester are very sick! All the time, their tired and not in the mood, reassure her everyday, tell her how beautiful she is and that your glad to be with her, once she's in her 2nd trimester she'll have a boost in energy and probably will want sex a whole lot more often
2007-06-02 12:19:37 · answer #10 · answered by renata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal!! with my first i was craving it all the time i would wake him up in the middle of the night and everything!! but my second pregnancy, i didnt want him to touch me period. unless it was a massage. give her some time, she may come around, often a bit later in pregnancy the desire comes back; most women dont want to do anything in the first 3 months. dont feel bad about yourself, its common. i know how you feel though, and im impressed your still so into her!! my husband was always afraid hed hurt the baby, etc etc and really made me feel bad about myself and unattractive. i felt fat and awful about myself b/c i felt like he didnt want me anymore! she may feel self conscious, or concerned about the baby as well. just make her feel good, tell her how nice she looks, shes got "that glow of pregnancy", tell her often how much you love her, etc. just make her feel good! offer a massage every now and then, and im sure shell warm upto the idea again. good luck, and congrats daddy!!
2007-06-02 12:26:35 · answer #11 · answered by Sarah M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋