My husband is a jealous man. When i am happy, he is ''scared'' i guess and tries to get me down. When i am down then he is happy. I am tired of this game. He is a jealous man and accuses me of adultry and calls me a flirt because i am a friendly and happy go lucky kind of woman. He feels threatened and is insecure and immature emotionally. I have been faithful and have loved him but i don't love him as a woman to man anymore..and i long to be loved by proper love. I will always love him as a person..in a familiar way..forever, but i can't be his wife any more. Am i correct to divorce him?
2007-06-02 11:37:44 · 15 answers · asked by vilot2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trust your instincts, they seem to be guiding you well.
2007-06-02 11:41:57 · answer #1 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you just realizing that he is like this after 30 years?
Seriously...did the behavior just come about, out of nowhere?
Either he has been insecure all along, and you have finally had your fill,
OR
He is feeling guilty about something he has done.
Either way, you deserve to be happy. Sit down and talk about it before you make any permanent decisions.
If this does not help, then maybe the best advice is to just end the marriage. After this long though, it would be worth it to possibly seek counseling. After all, 30 years is a long time to spend with some one....
2007-06-02 20:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Peanut hit the nail on the head, think about it "30 years" long time isn't it. The grass is not aways greener on the other side, and being by yourself after such a long period of being with someone is not all that it's cracked up to be. You can get a divorce if that is what you really want, but if you are not sure seek some professional counseling.
2007-06-02 19:20:42 · answer #3 · answered by jdyer12002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Vilot,
Everyone is quick to tell you to get out of your marriage. However, before you do that, you need to look around and see if climbing out after thirty years will be an improvement. Do you want to pick up your toys and go home, or solve the problem? Does your husband recognize his faults? Is he willing to work on them? Are you willing to work on yours?
From having watched so many friends race to end their marriages, then wind up in totally awful one night stands and horrible relationships because they thought they could take the easy route to romance and love...I would offer the opinion that you need to proceed cautiously. Prepare yourself carefully to leave, if that's what you ultimately wind up deciding to do. See a marriage counselor and find out if there are things you and your husband can do to revive your marriage. Then, if all else fails, you have truly given your all and you can feel justified in leaving.
I would hate to give you advice that leaves you lying in bed at night between two and three A.M. wondering what went wrong, and how much you wish you were back with your husband trying harder to have a good marriage.
Exhaust all possible avenues before you choose divorce. Your vows demand this. Your integrity must have this to remain in tact. You must be able to look into the mirror after you act.
God bless you, do your best. You will live with your choices. Be careful to make the best ones you can. :)
2007-06-02 19:01:20 · answer #4 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you should have left the SOB 29 years ago. Go out and find somebody who loves you for being the happy-go-lucky person that you are. There really are secure, happy men who appreciate your qualities in a woman and who aren't jealous and who won't drain the energy or lifeblood out of you just to make themselves feel better. You deserve the best. Go find it!
2007-06-02 20:06:23 · answer #5 · answered by Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not tried counseling and talking I would maybe go that route, but if he refuses or wont hear of it, a person can only take head games for so long and then its time to move on life is too short to be unhappy...
2007-06-02 19:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion yes If you aren't happy- you aren't happy no sense in living life like that- Everyone deserves to be happy is my philosophy- Get out and do what makes you happy before you can't anymore
2007-06-02 18:49:53 · answer #7 · answered by cabbagepatchgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy and know that the wife to husband love is dead with no chances of sparking again then yes. You deserve to be happy.
2007-06-02 18:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have obviously given this a great deal of thought. just be honest about your motivations etc. you have pinned down the reasons for his behavior: insecure, immature. is this likely to change? you obviously got something out of the relationship or else why stay for 30 years? what is the catalyst for change now? as described, no one should live this way.
2007-06-02 18:50:50 · answer #9 · answered by quiet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While there isn't a simple answser to this...I think you already know what you need to do. Only you can decide what is best for you and what you can live with. If you have done all you can to improve your situation...do what you need to do. Just know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be treated as you should be..deserve to be...want to be. Good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-06-02 19:54:36 · answer #10 · answered by sassyredhead1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in full agreement with Star on this matter, you deserve to be happy. So if that means you have to divorce your husband, then so be it. Good Luck.
2007-06-02 18:46:30 · answer #11 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋