Too young for marriage divorce?

Question

I am going to be 22 and my hubby is 33 yrs old been married a year.We met at one of my dads company partys for charity.I was 18 yrs old when we met started dating when i turned 19.We had a drama filled on and off relationship but he swept me off my feet anyway romantic dinners gifts ect.I had a lot of doubts on the wedding day and prior but the wedding was paid for with 155 people attending.My parents would not even give me their opinion on the matter.I feel so lonley in my marriage hubby will buy me whatever i want but treats me like a child or a piece of property.I no longer feel like myself anymore?I went to college but have never worked .Recently i ran into an ex.bf and some old friends we all hung out.I felt like me again should i divorce?I think i have feelings for another guy?

Answer 1

If your husband knew these feelings would he change? What's going to happen is this, the new guy will bring his own version of dramatics, you will regret like never before. Listen, you've already touched upon a solution. A JOB! It doesn't need to be financially fulfilling, just emotionally. You are an adult so you don't need your husbands blessing. At your job you can re-discover yourself. Personally I think that your completely backward. I'm me at home with my wife, and at my job I am a machine, a robot. You need to understand you are of worth and not take condescending tones, not take pity-ing looks, not take disrespect. I mean what bad could happen? He will divorce you? Hell, you are contemplating cheating which will lose you all your respect, any possible hope of financial gain. He will basically and lawfully set you adrift in your stupidity. I know that is a rough word, and "you are not stupid" it's just cheating is as stupid a move as one could make!

Answer 2

It is NOT about having old feelings for a past BF. It's all about having your own interests, authentic life, hobbies, career, and if hubby is threatened by it, and says no way, when he's working, relocated and tell him you are never returning.

What I would do now is to do The Forum. It's offered by The Landmark Education Corporation in many big cities and suburbs as well. It's a three day one evening intensive all about Being Human.... hubby? maybe he'll "let' you experience yourself again. If he refuses to allow you to do it, Call them up and let them know your situation. They sometimes off ere scholarships. If you are serious, go to a free intro at Landmark Education Corp. to The Forum. It is no cult. Read all about out on line. You WILL rescue yourself, and expand on the real you from your depths.

If you do The Forum, maybe, hubby will become a Man and realize all the gifts in the world don't make a complete actualized person. He's playing daddy and must stop. That also means he might try to first get you pregnant. You are NOT destined for a baby for many years, believe me, and if he doesn't like it, let him go elsewhere. You are suffocating in this, but the answer is not to go back to an old BF until your authentic life in is in gear. YOu must discover it first.

As far as your parents not allowing you to back down at the wedding, no one forced you to go through with it. Your folks might have just thought you were nervous, that's all. However, they too might be ultra controlling, like hubby, a likely scenario. Lose them ALL until you can get a grip on yourself, for real, and until you are ready to confront mom and dad about how ultra controlling they have always been to you and those days are over, period, end of discussion. Is this you? take a good look! I could be wrong! .

BTW: Expect husband to cry like a baby and beg you to return. Unless he gets into therapy and takes a psych evaluation about his controlling ways and other things, and until he too does the Forum and more than that, extra courses, he will NEVER change. I wrote a book about divorce, and it sure sounds like you have all too many people not to allow you to grow and mature, that they want to keep you under a glass dome. One divorce doesn't make a disasterous life. Do it to save your soul. Your marriage is in deep trouble, if not actually dead, because you really wanted to say no at the ceremony, and he wants a trophy wife. Even quality sex can't save this, and actually, it is a small part of a marriage, the largest being respect, personal growth and friendship./You have none of these with him

Get to work NOW! LOL

Answer 3

I have no real answer to that because i can't imagine how that feels.
But i would ask myself two things: can you get him to not treat you as a child and let you do what yuo want, AND is there something about this guy that is worth staying together for.
The feelings for another guy will always happen. You married too young, so you could not be with enough guys to burn that phase.
One thing is sure, you cannot stay together just because he buys you stuff.
My parents divorced after 25 years of bad marriage and i bet they wish to get that time back.
I'm not gonna be responsible of breaking up a marriage, it has to be your decision. But beeing married should at least make you feel better than not beeing married.
My humble opinion. I am 24 years old and know little of life. I feel compassion for you, you must feel very confusef. Best of lucks, sincerely

Answer 4

I know how you are feeling, at least similar! And all I can suggest is sitting down and telling him how you feel! If he truely loves you he would want you to be happy, which means changing some things about your relationship!
Here's a thought, maybe you could get a job and then begin to do things for yourself! Regain some of your independence!
After a while, if you still feel the same, then maybe you should think about divorce, becaue you deserve to be happy and to be treated well!
It's an impossible decision to make, at least it is for me! I keep staying, because when I say I've had enough and have made up my mind to leave , that's when he pours on the charm, that made me marry him to begin with! But it doeesn't last long and then the cycle begins again!
But always remember, you deserve better, you deserve to be happy! Start doing for yourself, and maybe you will begin to feel like yourself again!
Good luck!

Answer 5

I'm sorry to say it but it sounds to me like you are a possession. People often take two specific views of marriage, either as a beginning or an end. Those who see it as a beginning recognize that after the wedding the work is only starting, that there is a lifelong job of caring to keep the relationship alive and vibrant. Those who see marriage as an end have the attitude ... well that's done now, so I can get on with my next goal. Those stop dating their spouses and they stop caring. It sounds to me like you have one of those, someone who sees the marriage as an end in itself.

I don't know what to say beyond that. You could try to share your feelings and try to get him to understand your needs and expectations. If he cares and listens a little patience might just change this into a happy ending. On the other hand if he doesn't listen and try to adjust to some of your needs, now is probably the best time to get out. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Just a little advise, you can never go back. I know you felt like your old self again, wasn't that great!! Now forget it.You are 22 years old and have never had a job, you didn't even finish your education. The best advise I could give you is to either finish your education while you have a free ride. Or get a job, for several reasons. #1 To better prepare yourself, so that you can support yourself. #2 To keep your mind occupied and to meet new people

Answer 7

you need to find a way to get your sense of independence back and your sense of indentity back. don't ever let anyone treat you like a child. if you don't work then it's time for you to work. work, make new friends, get some hobbies and a life. just because you are someone's wife doesn't mean that your life should end there. get out there so you can feel like yourself again.