2007-06-02 10:29:21 · 13 answers · asked by islandofmudo 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
You've obviously heard about the new Keebler Diet, where you eliminate carbs and eat only elves.
Note that doctors advise against this diet. The founder of the diet system, Doc Keebler, apparently died of a heart attack from extraordinarily high lucky charm levels when he realized he was an elf and tried to eat himself.
However, if you seriously intend to try it, the best way to capture an elf is to leave several pairs of unfinished shoes around your workshop. The elves will then come to finish them. After several weeks of this, leave some clothes out for them, and capture them while they are trying on the clothes. The type of clothes do not matter, but it is VITAL you catch them then, as they will not pay you a return visit after you have given them these articles of clothing. Do not, and I repeat for emphasis DO NOT, eat anything which does housework. This would be a Brownie, and while they will try on clothes and depart like elves, they are highly poisonous, and could get you in trouble with your local child welfare services authority.
As for the best way to eat them, I suggest their livers, broiled, with a nice Chianti.
2007-06-02 23:35:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never catch an elf, much less eat them. They are magic . You can pretend by catching a grasshopper. When you catch the grasshopper, pull the back legs and make them spit tobacco juice. Then pop the little green guy into your mouth and chew it . It is crunchy and not to bad as it tastes like Dandilion Greens. Pretend your doing it to an elf. Have fun.
2007-06-02 17:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lay down a rope trap ,in the middle of it put a picture of a naked elf girl on it with a piece of cheese, the elf comes along starts to eat the cheese while gazing into the eyes of the naked elf girl picture ...
bingo you've got it!
2007-06-02 17:43:12 · answer #3 · answered by Dee U 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok first pick up the phone and call the nearest psychiatric facility they will help you catch and eat your pesky elves look you need help and hopefully your elves will get you some best regards mrs santa claus
ps your about 6 beers short of a twelve pack and also put out keebler cookies thatll suffice them
2007-06-02 17:55:06 · answer #4 · answered by melissa j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep your mouth open until an elf will crawl into it.
you must eat no other thing until the elf will come and crawl in your mouth.
elf will no crawl in your dirty mouth.
2007-06-02 17:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by synopsis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Step One: LSD
Step Two: Open mouth very wide
Step Three: Wait
2007-06-02 20:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best to use 'elf bait'.
2007-06-02 17:37:33 · answer #7 · answered by Doctor J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
use a live trap with some marshmallow bait inside. sure to catch him then!
2007-06-02 17:39:42 · answer #8 · answered by LOST_fanatic:)! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try eating giants theyr a bigga meal
2007-06-03 15:04:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have to sprinkle salt on their tails...oh wait, that's pigeons...either way, get some salt and get ready to get your eat on.
2007-06-03 00:01:56 · answer #10 · answered by Chels 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋