I had an ex I made friends with again after 20 years. Our kids played together, we did activities together once in awhile, then one evening he runs into my family at a restaraunt, including my husband, ( knew I was married but never liked my husband) he acted wierd and basicaly rude to my husband, didn't introduce us to friends he was with, acting cold to my children who ran up and hugged him. I wrote him a letter; explained to him he was one of most important friends in my life, but I expected him to appreciate me and not be rude when around my husband. His next letter was about what a horrible person I was, the friends he was with knew what a horrible person I was and he ripped me up to the point I was a little scared of him, (if he saw me as such a horror, told his friends, then why was he ever being my friend again?) He ended horrible letter by saying we were still friends, well; I have not contacted him since, but now he is contacting me again and acting like nothing happened.
2007-06-02 10:25:15 · 8 answers · asked by chieko 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
That is a bizarre story. I have an ex too who is still a friend and that's what we are, real friends. If she were to do that to me there is no way I'd ever be willing to have anything to do with her again.
It seems to me that if your ex has nothing positive to say about you then you may as well stay away. After all, who is going to be friends with someone who has no positive qualities. In addition, if he refuses to introduce you to his friends I again have to question his sincerity.
Personally, I'd stay away from him and refuse to have anything more to do with him. I'd also tell him exactly why. Perhaps he has an explanation for his behaviour but at the same time I have a hunch the explanation isn't going to cut it. There's no rational justification for that kind of behaviour and you should not be subjected to it.
2007-06-02 10:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by Shutterbug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like he still has feelings for you. This would explain why he got along with you and your kids so well until the day he met your husband. Guys also tend to be meaner around their friends. He probably wrote that letter out of jealousy and now that he's cooled off he wants to become friends again by acting as if nothing ever happened. That's just what I think..
2007-06-02 10:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by phatphony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems this person is not really your friend. A true friend is loyal, faithful, trustworthy, confidential, and mainly friendly. This person used all the things that you shared with him to betray you, gossip about you, and used you and the experiences that you shared with him just as a topic of conversation with those other people, maybe to establish or strenghten relationships with those other people. If after that he now is coming again as if he did nothing to you, he is showing no respect. He is testing your boundaries to see how much abuse will you tolerate. It is time to stop this, close this situation once and for all, get over it and learn from it. Do not give him the opportunity to abuse you again. Thankfully you have a safe place in your husband and your family.
2007-06-02 11:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Thats all there is to it. Let him know why you want to continue wtih this friendship or why you want to go your seperate ways. Some friends aren't there forever and plus...blood is thicker then water. If he is going to disrespect your husband & kids, move on. That isn't right at all. He should respect your choices and be happy for you. Not judge you. = )
2007-06-02 10:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weird guy, but he knows he's too late to have you back cuz he probably had a crush on you and stuff and is jealous of your husband or something...Maybe he tried to send signs way back that were missed, but he probably still likes you and wishes he had another chance...but I'm no expert...
2007-06-02 10:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure your husband knows he is contacting you. You might have to file a complaint if you are afraid of him. He sounds like a possible stalker. Watch out!
2007-06-02 10:32:11 · answer #6 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy could either want to reconcile or settle his jealousy by doing some evl things to you and your family. Stay away from him, even if he was your friend, friends don't act like that to other friends, so he isn't worthy of your company.
2007-06-02 10:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by shanna709 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him face to face. If you have a strong enough friendship you should be able to work out any problems.
2007-06-02 10:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by Optimistically... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋