Is this normal behavior for a Little League Coach?

Question

My son is 9 years old, he's a really good little baseball player and has loved the game since he was able to hold a bat and catch a ball, he actually used to sleep with his bat in bed with him. I'm a single mother, and it's been up to me to train him. He's made the All Stars every year and will give 150% of himself in playing. This year his coaches are very competitive, and of course they are coaching their own kids, they play thier kids every inning and my son is made to sit the bench at least 2 innings per game, which is really making him feel as if they don't want or need him on this team. Their own kids aren't real good, and my son can pitch, catch and play just about every position on the field. Their kids have one position to play and that's their constant position. Now the coaches are very verbal in thier critism, and I of course as a mother pay very strict attention to what is being said to my son. One of the coaches I feel is so nasty he shouldn't be allowed to coach.

I've let alot of his comments go, but the last game they played, he benched my son and so my son decided to come to the candy stand, where I was working and hang out with me, he was getting a water for his other coach. When the fielding part was over he ran back to the dug-out and the nasty coach stopped him and said something to him. I waited till we were on our way home to find out what the coach had said to my son, and my son told me that he said, "You aren't a part of this team, why don't you just go sit down somewhere." I was fuming, and it's a good thing I waited to ask my son what the coach said, cause all He-- would have broken out if I had known while the game was still being played. I called the president of the league and complained of this, today we had another game, and I explained to my son that the nasty coach was Mentally Challenged, and my son was to treat him as he would treat anyone with a mental disorder. What eles could I tell my son to explain this behavior?

So, during the game today, the nasty coach takes my son out of the catching position in the middle of an inning and my son is pissed, I yelled out to him, to remember about the problem of a Mentally challenged person and calm down. The coach then asked me what did I say, I ignored him, they he got really loud and asked again what did I say, So, I told him I wasn't talking to him. He decided to start a fight, telling me he didn't want to talk to me either, and I said that was fine, let's not talk, and so he continued to insult me, and I had enough and told him he was showing everyone how ignorant he was by continuing to run his mouth, and he needed to just stop it now. The other parents stood with me on this, as thier own children had been abused by this man as well, anyway, the last thing he said in front of my son, was that I wasn't a good parent, because if I was, I would have taken my son to batting practice, because my son sucks at batting. Is this normal behavior?

Answer 1

We have seen this problem many times in our long history in youth baseball (parenting, coaching, and umpiring).

While I agree with br549 that we are only hearing your side, the situation does seem serious enough to bring to league board of directors. We have seen several coaches removed from the position if the board believes the coach to be detrimental to a child.

Another option for you may be to change to the local Cal Ripken league if there is one. Unlike Little League, Cal Ripken will require all coaches to complete a coaching course which has child happiness as a focus.

It's a tough situation for you, we wish you luck.

Answer 2

My cousin had a babe ruth coach like that. When the kid was 12, best player in the league. Next year, plays 3 innings a game, while the other kids play. Now, he got into a slump the first part of the year, but now he's hitting better, and the coach still never puts him in.

Coaches r gonna put their kids in. They think Ron Guidry is at the game 2 scout 4 the Yankees. Now he's only 9, wait it out until he's 12. If he still doesn't get any playing time u should get involved. Don't let it get 2 tha point where he'll rather pick up a lacrosse stick.

About the yelling thing, coaches think they're coaching the World Series. I'd give him a piece of my mind if that were my kid, if he keeps doing it.

Answer 3

There really isn't such a thing as a "normal" coach! I am an umpire, (work 9 years old up through the college level) and haven't seen a "normal" coach yet! And most do have behavioral issues!

All joking aside, no-one can comment on this one. Mom, you are offering your perspective only, I'm sure there are two sides to this story. I am also sure that you are exteemely biased in this instance (and yes, I would expect that).

Now having said that, I have witnessed many coaches who just shouldn't be out there, or anywhere where kids are involved. I have seen these at high levels also! I've had more than one college player whisper to me while on the field that their coach was a jerk, or worse.

You have several options.

The best option I believe is to teach your son that life isn't always fair. There will be all through his life obstacles such as this coach. If you teach him now how to start dealing with this he will have an easier time of it later. People who have charge of him (and you and me for that matter) will say and do things that are not proper. As you have to overlook some of your boss's oddities, your son has to work around his coaches. Teach your son that this is not a permanent situation, and he should try and do his best possible. That would include not leaving the dugout (even if the coach sent him to get water which I honestly doubt) but stay in there and pull for his team.

Another option is to question everything the coach does, and call him on it. Also complain to the league directors often. Coaches are hard to find, parents are a dime a dozen, complaining parents are also plentiful. You don't want to become "that kind of mother". It will also teach the little guy that when things don't go his way, mommy will step in and take care of it. At 9 you surley will most times, but not when he is 30!

Another option is to pull him off the team. I have seen this done quite often, but never at the request of the child!

I will also say that even though you think the little guy is the best on the field, as I said above, you are biased! Does your son practice away from the team? or does he just expect to get better by playing games? As he moves up in age, more and more practice will be required of him. The high school guys practice as a team, and alone seven days a week.

Believe me, I have been where you are! I actually had a daughter whose team was coached by a guy who was sentenced to community service! Had no clue and was not supportive at all. We were not aware of the arrangement, or would have stepped in. We also still don't know what the sentence was for. There were also coaches whose daughters were played ahead of mine, some deservedly, some not. My daughter was taught to roll with it and do all she could to improve. She would daily hang a target on a tree in the yard and throw at it to improve her aim. She also hit frozen peas with a broomstick to improve hitting. She rode the bench on a few teams, but softball put her through college, and is now (partially) paying her living as a high school teacher/coach. Guess what? she still has to deal with questionable or unfair treatment, but has learned how to handle it.

The liitle guy's future is in your hands mom, ball's in your court. Good Luck

Answer 4

There probably is a lesson here for your son. It's that not all of the coaches in his life are going to be fair and wise, and those people will be obstacles in his way -- just like a better player at this position, or a bad schedule, or whatever.

With that said, you might want to make some discreet queries to the people who run the league about this. You don't want to be one of those parents who say, "Why isn't my boy playing? He's much better than his boy." The remark about not being on the team is way out of line, and I wouldn't put up with it either.

Youth sports are always difficult, in part because of the parents. Some think they need to win at all costs, compensating for something that was missing in youth. Some have other issues. It's tough for you to show interest but not interfere too much -- but keep trying to find the right balance.

Answer 5

With this public display as you have stated the situation, this guy has no business coaching little leaguers. This level is for development of playing the game. Too many dads ruin it by playing to win and it burns their kids out on the game by age 14.

My advice -- get through the season as best you can then see if there is a parallel league your son could join or another team within the league.

Answer 6

No and I have had a coach like this who plays his kid at 1 position and he isnt good at it. And also he has also made comments about kids who "arent good" when they are better than his kid. If it is just one coach talk to his assistants but if it all of them then try and find your son another team or if you cant ruin the coaches season by having all of the parents pull their kids off the team as well and tell them to go and win with their kid pitching (or playing wherever they play) because they cant. And prove to them that their kids arent that good and show them that your son makes a bigger contrabution to the team than any of their ids combined.

Answer 7

Today I choose not for my 8 year old daughter to try out for the traveling team cause of the typically the coaches kids play. I don't feel its fair but your kid if he continues to play must sit with the team. As a bench coach I'm like for my players to be on the bench with their team, not at the snack bar.

Answer 8

That's not even normal behavior for a monkey for goodness sakes! This LL coach is obviously is a very mean person. It's Little League, and he needs to lighten up. Maybe he wants to rotate the kids, but he doesn't have to be a jackass about it. Also, your son is a player too. He's on the team too. Apparently the ignorant coach "forgot" that. Keep doing what your doing. Stand up for yourself and for your son. Get other parents to support you. This coach needs to quit being so harsh.

Hope I could help!

Yankees Love. <3

Answer 9

The league should know about this. There seems to be a lot of these pathetic "I wasn't very good at sports so I will drive my kid into the ground to make him what I was not" people who become the coachs in kid's sports. It is sad that even at little league the W is more important than having fun.

Answer 10

sad to say but it is normal. coaches always show favoritism towards their kids so there's not much that can be done about that. i'm sure your son is a talented player and his talents could be used elsewhere. perhaps consider finding another area team for him to play on since the coaches won't change there ways.