just started medicine and became stable. i have a 3yr old and an 8 mo old, always wanted four but will be happy with three. w both i went through post pardum and they say it gets worse each time. but why should my life choices be forced in not having more when there is help through medicine and support? want to have another before 35 bc more problems can arise then. not looking for short and sweet answers but something deep i can discuss w my husband!
2007-06-02 09:57:56 · 12 answers · asked by gods child 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All of our life choices are affected by our circumstances. Sometimes it's money, health, age, other responsibilities, etc. Having a certain number of children is not a right. The children you already have deserve a mother who is healthy, and mentally stable. Your husband deserves this as well. If medication is keeping you that way, you should stick with it. If you have to stop taking it when you are pregnant, it is unfair to your family. Post partum depression does get worse each time, and you would be putting your family at great risk if you have more children. You have been blessed with two healthy children, and have gotten your disease under control. Be happy with what you have!
2007-06-02 12:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do feel you should be able to have more children and follow your dreams just like everyone else, however there are a few considerations you have to go over more carefully. You keep your disorder under control with medication, which requires that you are steadfast in taking it everyday and regular times. Sometimes these medications become less effective over time and my cause you to relapse. You educate yourself about the signs and symptoms of your meds becoming ineffective. Keep all your doctor appointments do not miss one. Checking your blood for the levels of the meds in your blood will help your doctor know if you treatment is effective. Also, you are having your children too close together, your body needs time to recover from giving birth, which can take up to 2 to 3 years. You can have perfectly healthy children after 35 even though some risks increase. You should plan your next pregnancy with your husband and your doctor because certain meds are not compatible with pregnancy. Your husband should also be educated about your condition also. Being better prepared for treatment of your condition during and after pregnancy is the key. You should have everything you dream of, but you have to make informed decisions.
2007-06-02 17:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by Tina #1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, I see a couple issues. You want to have another child before you turn 35. You have approx. 2 years left.
You are bi-polar but have been made stable with medication.
You suffered post-partum with your other pregnancies and it can get worse each time.
OK, Can you continue to take your medication while pregnant to remain stable while pregnant? I would check with your doctor for advice and to find out about any risks or side effects. If the doctor oks it and the medication is safe and you can remain stable, then that is one hurdle cleared.
You suffered post-partum. If you decide to have another child, make sure your doctor knows this and can watch for it. Maybe even be prepared for preventatitve medication.
Your age, not a hurdle, woman are having babies later. I am 39 and we are trying for our last one. Again, communication with your doctor is most important here. Older woman are higher risks.
Most importantly, do you and your husband really want another one. Are you both prepared for having 3 young children to care for? Can you provide for them? Do you have a strong support network of family and friends that is willing and able to help?
I hope this was helpful. Good Luck and God bless whatever you decide.
2007-06-02 17:13:15 · answer #3 · answered by KIMBERLY D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I may be hard on this. You have already two kids. Don't they make you satisfied and fulfilled? What's the real need for having another one? Do you ever think about how populated is the world and what a problem the overpopulation is? Or you think that it's not true and that you are not contributing to the overpopulation?
You have a very serious disorder that most likely your kids will inherit, probably not all but the chances are high so they will suffer in their lives and life is already hard enough without psychiatric disorders.
Also to be stable you need to take your meds, if you want your child to be as healthy as possible you will need to quit them during pregnancy. Yes it is NEVER good for the foetus to grow with all kind of chemicals. There are always side effects.
I think it's very selfish of you to want to bring another child to this world to suffer what you suffer, disregarding the hardship of your disorder. You should really try to make it wonderful with the 2 kids that you have now and spend your healthy time with them.
2007-06-02 17:45:47 · answer #4 · answered by marazul 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sweety if you're stable on your meds then don't do it to have another child. It can also be rough once you've been stablized on meds and then get off to have another baby because of the chemical reaction. Also you do know there is a chance that your kids may inherit this too right? I'm bipolar and so is my husband and i wouldn't want to put my kids through me not being stablized on meds ever again. And my 15 is showing some serious signs of being bipolar but unfortunately every time i've asked for him to be tested the doctors never do it and trust me, it is much harder to go through being with someone who is bipolar than just having it.
2007-06-02 17:07:23 · answer #5 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
we could be twins(33yrs), only you are lucky to have been diagnosed before you have another child. i've realized through therapy that we tend to make hasty decision including having children. i was lucky enogh to have a moment of clarity and had my tubes tied. i'm very glad because with this illness especially (mothers) women can easily drift back and forth emotionally because we handle so much as moms, even with those we treasure the most. the after effect of having a child does get worse each time and with myself i had them back to back (now 5,4,3 and it was sometimes very scary). whatever you and your hubby decide, you should always keep in mind how you will manage bipolar II with a new baby as well as the other children. I wish you the best of luck and my heart is with you.
2007-06-02 19:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by cool_spicy_springroll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the best of who you are to the children you have...I have it too, and more than one would have done me in totally. Save your strength for when you need it...This is just the beginning...You have a long road ahead. Concentrate on what you have, and feel blessed. Medicine hides the pain, helps you deal, it does not take it away.
2007-06-02 19:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am bipolar and had a hard time with 2. I wish I had had one more. Do you feel you can handle another one? Do you have good psychiatric support to get you thru the post partum?
2007-06-02 17:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sharyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would look at the quality of your childrens lives. Are you able to care for them? Would you be able to care for them if you became depressed again? What are the long term effects of your illness on the kids and your husband? Is he willing to see this through?
I can understand your desire for more children but at the same time think it might be selfish of you to purposely put your other children, your husband and yourself at risk just to hold another baby.
2007-06-02 17:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by hthr_1974 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Nothing deep but I just seen a movie about a similar situation where the Woman had to stop taking her meds while pregnant, it didn't work out too well for her.I would check the precautions on your meds and good luck.
2007-06-02 17:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by Timothy S 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋