She says she wants to feel those feelings, but she can't. We have been married for 14 years. What do I do?? She doesn't want to separate or get divorce because first she doesn't believe in it and second we have to beautiful little girls and she doesn't want to just up them out of there comfort zone, if you get what i mean. I don't know what to do, as far as getting or helping her get those feelings back. I don't want to just stay for the kids.. i know it's selfish in my part.. but i am not getting any younger... i don't want to get to a point when my girls are out of the house and we decided to end it... i will be to old to find another person. Please help with what i should do...
2007-06-02 08:40:56 · 4 answers · asked by turbospd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You will never be to to old to find another person. Go to marriage counseling with her and find out what you need to do to get some zip back in your marriage.
2007-06-02 08:44:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are never TOO old to find another person. Just look at all the 80 year old people getting married. If you are only 50...why not?
Well to the more serious talk. I have had some trouble with feelings and my husband (I have lost some of the feelings for him). Mostly it is because I get tired of something he has been doing. Sit down (without your two girls) and have a good, heart-felt talk without arguing. Stay calm and simply listen to what she says. If there is something that bothers her, and she holds it in...its not going to help either of you. Maybe she doesn't feel appreciated enough or she feels belittled (I don't know her or your relationship those are ony ideas). But once she gets it out, then you BOTH can work on it. If there isn't anything, give it some time (understandably not too much) but give her a chance to sort through it. (There could also be hormonal troubles or psychological...again only ideas you may not have thought of).
But don't give up on her. The good thing is she says she doesn't want to seperate or anything...so take that into account and be happy she wants to stay in the relationship. Good luck!
2007-06-02 08:49:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is sad but, I've been there. I got the news one day after she came home from work, with her five friends, they stopped, as always and had their usual drinks. We, the children and I waited for her. I was on mids and tired, I cleaned the house, made supper and got the kids ready for bed, she should have been home by four, it was eight. This happen every night.
I asked her what the deal was, we weren't fighting. She had turned cold, sex was like doing it with a fence post.
She looked at me, after twelve years, she said "I Don't love you anymore" I care a lot for you and the kids but, I want to have some fun, I missed my younger years. I couldn't believe it.
She didn't want a divorce, she wanted to try it and see how she liked it. She was infatuated with her boss.
After six months of this, she had sex with her boss, felt the guilt and decided she wanted to be with me. I got a separation for a year. I went back to school.
A Long story but the same situation. Run, run fast and don't turn around. Ask her if she's seeing someone else. I wish I would have never went back, the pain and the shame is to much, I wish I'd stayed single.
2007-06-02 08:58:14 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CAN'T OR WON'T!? DO YOU LOVE HER AND WANT TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!? IF SO....
Do whatever it takes to spice up your love life again....romantic dinners, making love in different ways, small inexpensive gifts, etc. Bring back the feelings you once had by remembering why you fell in love and married in the first place.
2007-06-06 04:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋