Feeling Depressed in the Pursuit of Happiness....?

Question

I recently turned 30. Ever since I moved out of my boyfriend's house 2 months ago (we are still together in the relationship, I just wanted to try living on my own and be independent for once in my life), I have become increasingly depressed. My job is great/no complaints, I have friends/family who care for me, but I still feel as if my Life right now has no purpose or direction. I know where I WANT for it to go (More than anything I want to be a mom and raise a family/my boyfriend has no interest in this right now), so I don't know what to do with myself in this "waiting period.". Watching tv, going to the movies, hanging out at the pool seem like I'm just wasting the days away. I am bored to death. I have hobbies like creative writing and arts/crafts, but they have become boring as well, as they are a means to what end? I find them a purposeless waste of time. I don't know what to do. I want to feel like I am living again..does anyone else feel this way and how to deal with it???

Answer 1

There is no "waiting period".

If you want a family, you want a family and boyfriend better be willing to provide that or you'll move on.

You will.

Men can produce sperm till they die (barring disease that pre-empts that). Women are born with a set number of eggs and after a certain age, even those eggs become useless.

You know that at a cellular level.

The realisation of this is all that you are undergoing. You want a baby, at a visceral, cellular, even social level.

How to deal with it?

Easy and hard as ever.

Say aloud, "I want a baby".

I warn you, the consequences can be rippingly painful.

I wish you happiness.

Answer 2

You know what you want, thats always the first step. Think the best advice I've recieved is to work backwards. What do you need to have a family...yes, a husband. How do you get a husband? you have to get out of the house. what do you enjoy? yoga (join a class), surfing (go to the beach w/ friend), pottery (take a class), reading (bookstore). Find a church, volunteer somewhere. Do any of your friends have friends they can hook you up with? treat it like finding a job. go to match.com and just start contacting anyone who closely matches what you are looking for, maybe you meet someone thru them???? network. gotta throw the line in the water if you want to catch a fish.

and I hate to say it but sometimes when you close one door, another opens. It might be time to cut the ties with your boyfriend. Could you be holding on to something that may never happen? Hope something here helps, but the right guy will come along..usually seems to happen when we stop looking.

Answer 3

That is a very tough question to answer. It sounds like to me you know exactly why you are feeling depressed, the big problem is changing it might not easy.

We all want to work to some goals. If we have no goals or if we can't see any progress towards those goals we can certainly get depressed and think that we are just wasting our time.

The hard part is you need your boy friend for this. I think that given you goals, that you need to ask yourself and him, is his not wanting to have a family temporary or it is more like never going to happen. If it is temporary, then when? Unfortunately if your desires do not line up with his, then you only have a few choices (which might play out in a reasonable amount of time). One is you give up the idea of a family and find something else for you in life. Two he decides that he is ready for a family. Three you find a new boy friend that is more in line with what you want.

Like I said, it isn't easy.

Answer 4

I can relate. I'm in a similar situation, except that it doesn't involve children. My significant other just as much told me he has no plans to marry anytime soon, and I feel like I'm ready for the next level, etc.
It's time to reconsider if you really want this person in your life, and to discover something that makes you feel passionate about life again. Ask yourself, what made me happy before I was in this relationship? You'll find the answer isn't that difficult to find. Like attracts like; you'll find someone who shares the same goals in life as you do.
You've acknowledged what you want, now go and get it.

Answer 5

Jesus is your answer. I'm serious. Read the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. The author says exactly what you are saying: everything in life is purposeless. It leaves you wanting more. You're never satisfied.

After you read Ecclesiastes, read the Gospel of John in the bible.

God has a plan for you and a purpose for your life. You'll never find it apart from Him.
God Bless You.

Answer 6

Happiness begin within. No person can make you happy, unless you love yourself. The more you like yourself, the more you are liked.
My experience is that the more happy people I have around me, the happier I am. Avoid unhappy people and make happy the people you cant avoid.
To have a purpose is the one thing that makes us happy.
The best purpose I ever found, was to live for God.Then you really come alive.
People dont make people happy, God makes people happy.

Answer 7

Yeah, I definitely feel the same way. It hurts a lot to wait for good things to come, but, you know what they say: "Good things come to those who wait." and "No pain, no gain."

I find it's best to keep occupied at all times. Take your mind off of the emptiness. In fact, do things with your boyfriend and talk to him about it. That's what lovers are for, right? Love?