I really hate my life. I feel suicidal...?

Question

Well, at school I see a lot of people staring at me and giving me looks. Especially these ugly stupid preps who think they're so cool. I am pretty good looking, so I don't know why people give looks at me. These guys don't bother me, just want to know why they are talking behind my back when they cant say it to my face. I also dont have a girlfriend yet, and see all these ugly white nerds with hot girlfriends. This just doesn't make sense. I would really like a girl and i guess I am desperate, but whatever. I'm good looking too just cant seem to get one. It seems like God hates me and is turning me into an outcast. Btw, I'm 15 and a sophomore in high school. I wish I fit into society like everyone else and not get judged by assholes.

Answer 1

Well, lil'dre, I don't want to blow off your sincere feelings just because you are 15, but it is, like, the hardest age to go through.

I really wouldn't worry about the dating part. All they are doing is making distraction and drama. "Oh, does he Really like me?" "I want to break up now because so and so is asking me out now...." blah, blah, blah....if you can avoid this kind of crap in your life, all the better for you.

I will say this to you: When I went to my 10 year reunion, I learned something. One, one of The hottest guys in the class who was hunted down by the girls, and just an absolute fox was now fat and balding.

One of the heaviest, most unattractive girls in the class "bloomed" and OMG, she had to tell people who she was because she was now freaking georgeous, and no one knew who she was.

This was not true of the entire class, but I did find that things that had made "popular" people in school, did not carry into the after HS life. We grew, we matured, and we Changed.

People who were not in the elite popular group had grown, some went to college, married and were quite content at this point. The elite popular group seemed more to struggle 10 years later. They expected the HS kudos to follow them into later life, and sorry, HS was over and now they had to measure up in real life. No one cared if they had been the swim team marvel. Their performance was evaluated on just that....their performance.

God does not hate you. God just hasn't lumped you in with everyone else. Give Him time. The late blooming flower smells the sweetest. Do your schoolwork, find a job, do the things that will make you a responsible adult, and one day, that lovely girl you desire will simply come to you.

Answer 2

It's interesting you bring God into the picture. In His eyes, your worth is not based on whether or not you have a girlfriend or whether or not you fit into YOUR perception of what's acceptable and what's not.

Since you brought Him up in the first place, that will be my first suggestion... that you seek Him out... tell Him how you feel (He has said for you to cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you)... and ask Him to please show you how He feels about You...

Second, I do understand being 15. For some reason, that was my most depressing year of high school. I had not yet found out how much God truly loved me when I was 15... I was without a boyfriend... I was skinny as I could be, but felt fat and ugly... I was shy... I was made fun of, regularly... and I, too, was suicidal..

I wrote out my thoughts and feelings (and dreams... and how I wished things could be, etc.) in my journals, and writing helped me immensely.

Also, I contacted a local crisis intervention hotline and talked with them about my feelings. Sometimes, getting another perspective is helpful. You are right there in the middle of the picture... a counselor can help you back up and see the whole, bigger picture...

Here are some links and hotlines you might call, yourself:
http://suicidehotlines.com/
phone # - 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Here's something I would have liked when I was 15... but in 1976, the Internet was still too far away: http://www.teenline.org/
phone number: 1-[phone] ~ between 5 pm & 9 pm
also:1- [phone]

The year I turned 18, I found Jesus, and in doing so, found out how much the God of the universe loved me... And that has been making a difference in my life for 28 years now.

Answer 3

"not get judged by assholes"
Question for ya, if they are "assholes" why are you worried about what they think. After all being what they are sounds to me that they are just full of "****" anyways. things will get better. Besides most people that really want to commit suicide don't tell other about it first.
They talk behind your back because they don't have the b@lls to do it to your face. and is probably lies.
so what if you don't have a girlfriend yet, no law says you have to have one when your 15 or else.
Forget those idiots you'll be a lot happier when you do.

Answer 4

My friend , you are at a pivotal age in your life. chances are that people are not really spending any time talking about you. its human nature to obsess about yourself; those other people have the exact same fears! here's what is true. Most people only spend time thinking about one thing; themselves, themselves etc. they really do not care what you look like, what you are wearing etc. its some thing you find out as you get older. The only time you think less about yourself and more about others is when you, 1. fall in love 2. have children 3. find out the lord loves you and really; if God hated you do you really think he is so inept as not to cause you pain, hurt and more!! God is not a bug squashier!! That just is not truth. he's not trying to see if you can " take the pain". Fact is, growing is challenging and painful; for EVERYONE! hang in there, time has a way of changing everything. Learn to like who you are, the way you are and the world WILL turn too !

Answer 5

stick it out, you are valuable for who you are, not for who you have hanging off your arm. and trust me, the people who are being @ssholes to you now will get nowhere fast in the real world.

God doesn't hate you, please don't feel that way - high school sucks for many people - i'm 21 and never had a significant 'other' in my life to this day. my high school years were crap but take it from me, life is SO MUCH BETTER once you finish school and go to uni and get away from your old classmates... you become your own person, AND you don't feel judged.

you're not a misfit; (btw society isn't worth fitting into) and when you get to uni you'll find tons of individuals, all who have their place. and if you haven't by then, you'll prolly find a nice girlfriend there too. don't stress about it coz highschool relationships are fleeting and overrated anyway. in the meantime hang in there and get involved in something you're passionate about (hobbies, sports etc) that will take your mind off relationships and give you something positive to channel your energy into. good luck :)

Answer 6

God loves everybody and you should not be put down. There are much, much better things to think about in life than why you can't get a girlfriend and why everybody stares. When that happens I just stare right back. And I find that society is overrated, and if you don't fit you get stacked on the top. There you get a much better view.

Answer 7

please talk to someone fast. you see, life is not easy, but if you have a support sytem, then you'll see life in a different view and realize that thinngs are not that bad after all or that they can change for the better. Be patient it is not the end of the world, years from no you'll look back at this and say" OMG, i can't beleive i went through all this , yet I survived and i'm still here. Just hang in there. you'll be ok.

Answer 8

You might be the hottest guy around but your personality really counts. Maybe you should try smiling at people when they stare. And talk to people every now and then. Don't be suicidal. Life is worth a lot more than that. I'm almost 15 and i duno some how i feel like i can relate to you.

MSN ? [e-mail]

So i know who you are say "hottie."

Good luck.

Answer 9

Hey there hating life names tam .I used to feel the same way except i am white and terribly good looking also.Girls hated me I had big boobs and tiny waist and a killer smile they all thought I was going to take their stupid uneducated looser user boyfriends and boys well they only saw girls like me in a mag.Plus my real last name was Ready for this Wragg pronounced Rag got beans busted so bad .I just went outside my school started attending dances at private and surrounding schools there noone knew me so I could relax abit more I found that most are envious or afraid you may be coming off as untouchable relax I am now 40 and check me out all those jerks look 50 now checkout myspace pics .Relax your all good you are smart and king and good looking to boot don't waste your time on those who would waste yours MySpace.com/allgoodtam

Answer 10

im sorry this is whats happening to you but really its not Gods fault. high school is really just that stupid that people will talk behind your back i think its just they are jealous people like that know that you are better then them so they make up crap about you, or just hate you i had the same thing happen to me this year and these people wouldnt even say it so i couldnt hear they would talk behind my back when im like less then 5ft away so i was hearing everything but yeah now about the girl thing girls tend to all be rude and jerks you have to find the nice girls who arent a**holes im a girl and i know girls are mean i try not to be that type tho