I have asked a question 3 times in the past couple days. I got some good answers and have chosen to trust and stay w/my bf of 5 yrs. In a nut shell, we have been faithful this whole time and he is a wonderful man. Over memorial day weekend we got super drunk, and fell asleep upstairs in my friends house. He slept walked all the way downstairs to my friend on the couch and touched her down there.she was wearing a t-shirt and boxers.she woke up to the grab and said when she saw him there she was shocked. he was out of it! she wasnt even sure if he was awake.she told him to go to bed and they told me after a couple of days.my bf cried his eyes out to me in shame and embarassment, he couldnt believe he did this, he cried in fear of losing me.b/c we have both worked so hard to get where we r now after these yrs. my question is how can i accept this and move on and not think about this every time i wake up or lay down or anything.,i love my friend & my bf & i dont want things to be awkward!
2007-06-02 01:59:08 · 25 answers · asked by Life....it blows! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well you and your bf have been together for 5 yrs so i think that you guys will be able to find a way to get over it because really its not worth breaking up with him because im sure you guys had something great. i think that he will be able to learn from his mistakes and he will never do that again. you just need to trust ur boy friend. good luck!!
2007-06-02 02:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you will be able to forgive and forget, you will just have to learn how to live with it. Trust in a relationship is so delicate. You have to speak with your significant other, that this is still haunting you. Many people do split up, because of issues like that. These issues are usually performed under some sort of influence, and are reckless and stupid, but yet so significant to the wellbeing of a partnership.
Take your time, try to heal, but know it is going to be a hard road. There is always going to be a question mark on your part, whenever alcohol is around, and your B/f near it.
I wish you luck.
2007-06-02 02:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to accept, forgive, and move-on, then do so.
After 5Yrs. of working so hard on being with your b/f, then you must have an ounce of "Trust," in him and with your girlfriend! Remember ya'll were really "drunk" that night, and your b/f could have "A Sleep Disorder"(Sleepwalking). Also, you must know what kind of "Triggers" Alcohol can do on a person under "The Influence?" Getting so drunk, then staying at your friends house, wasn't "Normal" for your b/f, so "It" probably did "Trigger" his "Sleep-Disorder" and caused him to wander throughout the house. For the touching of your g/f, that could be just as simple... In his "State"(Sleep) he was probably doing something as simple as making a snack, or changing a flat tire on his car.
Remember, HE WAS ASLEEP, and he wasn't conscious of his surooundings, or what He was doing! Do you remember what you did when you were asleep?
Your g/f seemed to accept that your b/f was TRUELY ASLEEP when she felt what he did; Try to TRUST and BELIEVE them both!
Think of this as well; NONE of US ARE PERFECT!! You are a little "Insecure," and that is OK and Normal, but it can also lead to Greater Problems for you later on in Life, if you don't try to be a little more Trusting! Like you said; Both of you HAVEN'T CHEATED on eachother, that's A GOOD THING! Insecurity could cause you to "Cheat" later-on in Life. Who would that Hurt? GUILT is A Horrible Thing to Live-With all of your Life. TRUST in your b/f, even if it means that ya'll have to quit drinking, so that both of you can stay Happy together, isn't that worth it?
If you really want anything in Life, you HAVE to work at it! Nothing Good is Ever Easy, or Free!! Ask him to Help you, by telling him that you don't feel comfortable drinking anymore, and you want both of you to Stop!
I hope this will Help you...
Good Luck!
2007-06-02 02:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by 1moe4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and not get this drunk in the future.
If you have chosen to make this relationship work then you both have to grow up and make responsible, mature, balanced decision.
When you get inebriated out of your wits, obviously you are not aware of what you are doing, but it does not mean you still can't hurt other people.
Take time to sit down and make future commitment and plans of do and don'ts that will move your relationship forward, and stick to it.
2007-06-02 05:41:21 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are going to be friends in your life that will always be there, and when you get married it states in the bible you leave everyone and become one with your husband. 5 yrs are there any thoughts of marriage? If so thats what you need to think of men are pigs being one myself you should never trust anyone with your spouse and if getting drunk results in this kind of problems, then u have two options either stop drinking or do it when u r by yourselves. i love my wife but I try never to put myself and my wife in a situation that something like that will happen to us.
2007-06-02 02:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by superjorgehcso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it wether meant or not it was a mistake he feels bad about. Shame on you. You should have more trust in him. Stop being jealous and move on if its a problem get counseling for yourself! Maybe you guys should have watched how drunk you got! Maybe next time you wont get drunk as men do get a little horny!
2007-06-02 02:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by mcalano77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you have a good friend. She told you what had happen,
instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to sleep with him.
Second, he was super drunk. So this should be a lesson for
him not to drink anymore. Because he doesn't know what
happens when he do.
You should forgive him this time. But, if this happens again.
DON"T!
2007-06-02 02:23:41 · answer #7 · answered by fee d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard to accept: he would have done her too if he thought he would not get caught. He isn't crying for you; he is crying for what he would loose - a gullable girl. Dump this guy and find one who can keep his hands to himself. I assure you this was not the only time he was unfaithful. Sleepwalking! Ha! Do you think that would hold up in court? You are foolish for even listening to him try to manipulate you emotionally.
2007-06-02 02:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ranger D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds of it, your boyfriend seems very regretful that it happened and probably he sincerely means it when he didn't know what he was doing. I wouldn't worry about it too much, unless of course it happens again.Let's hope he wasn't using being drunk for an excuse!! Then you will have something to worry about.
2007-06-02 02:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to each of them separately.If their stories match,you'll know it was a drunken mistake on his part.If their stories don't match,then you may have a problem.
Funny things here is,if he can remember what happen that night and he was supposedly sleep walking,then he shouldn't have remembered it at all. Sleep walkers don't remember what they did.Hum, I'd definitely want more answers from both parties here.
2007-06-02 02:40:17 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋