He stop paying attention to me about one year already no intamacy between us until i discover he was into heavy porno when i asked him he just picked up and left i have not heard from him since it going to be 3 months. I still love him but i feel abondend and rejected. I wonder and hope if he will ever come back and ask for forgiveness and then i ask my self if i should forgive
2007-06-01 20:07:55 · 16 answers · asked by karen c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not forgive him even if he doesnt come back. All humans are fallible. Tell yourself you hate what he did but not the person. Remember he doesnt have to like you if he doesnt want to. That doesnt make him a bad person. You would like him to like you but if he doesnt that doesnt mean you cant have a happy life.
2007-06-01 20:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by dpepperdrinker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many thousands of porno types and styles of people out there in this world of ours! And what to you is heavy porno my not be to others? However due to the fact that you knew your husband stop paying attention to you for about a year, why o why did you not talk together concerning the change in your relationship? Really, only you and he knows what was actually said at the time of asking the question and its natural you and your children feel abounded as you are trying to coup with your new situation. As for love and forgiveness, you must always do what you believe is right for all that are concerned in this emotional situation.
2007-06-02 03:43:53 · answer #2 · answered by 121aloraphotos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should forgive him, because God says you should forgive everyone who trespasses against you. But don't lay down and be his door mat anymore.
You feel abandoned and rejected because you are. Why would you want him back? Sounds to me that he is a player, a cheater, an adulterer. He is definitely not committed to you or your children. He has abandoned you. Porno opens the door to the sin of lust. That destroys marriages as you have found out first hand.
If he did return, how could you ever trust him? If you want him to keep hurting you, let him come back. You should work on your self esteem problem. You are far too valuable to let some one walk all over you like that, especially your husband who should be faithful and true and kind and loving to you. Stand up for yourself. Don't take it anymore.
2007-06-02 03:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has a lot he is dealing with, BUT leaving is never the answer. Most likely he is either having or looking to have an affair. It is time for you to pick up the pieces and move on. I know this can be hard but just because your life seems to be going ninety miles an hour in the wrong direction doesn't mean this isn't for the best. If he is willing to just pick up and leave you and your kids, then he isn't worth the tears you are crying, and he doesn't deserve those kids. Show him what him how strong you are and just what exactly he walked away from and if he comes back let him know he shut that door and you locked it.
2007-06-02 03:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Put your kids priority. Go out with your friends from time to time. Do something for yourself. join a club, get a new hair style , buy something a little sexy (when you go out with your friends), study,entertain,BBQ, go out for coffee with your friends through the day.It wasn't your fault, i think it was a little more behind why he left. I wouldn't try to figure it out you'll send yourself crazy by thinking, if i did this or i didn't do this he would of stayed no he wouldn't of. It is natural to feel abandoned and rejected. He has done you a favour in time you will believe this. When a guy comes along and is willing to take you and the kids on, you'll wonder what you seen in your husband. Just remember it wasn't your fault. I'd be scared to take him back because he may do the same thing. If he comes back make sure that there is counseling before you let him back in the house.
2007-06-02 03:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kaye B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We, as mortals, do not have either the power or the ability of accepting or of forgiving; especially those who we feel and know as having hurted us.
If we find anybody doing it or asking us to do that, it is merely out of morality, and out of a sense and feel of wanting to be kind and good to others and to the self.
You have used the words; attention,intimacy, discover, love, abondend, rejected, hope, forgiveness; to express the condition of your relationship with your husband.
Why dont you try using the words to instead seek and develop your relationship with the god you believe in and have trusted in so long.
Do it through the mediums of prayer in silence and during meditation, without speaking any word, for a little time daily between 3.00 and 6.00 am in the mornings, and some time in the evenings.
I am sure that if you give it a try, and try to explore the
meaning and the power of the words as mentioned by you; by using them once again to re establish your own relation ship with god; then things would change for better for both of you.
We all seem to believe in god and trust him; but seldom do we take pains to either approach him or seek help from him.
It is high time that we work hard to remove our trust and faith from the powers and abilities of mankind including those of ourselves and place them in him; in such situations of self.
2007-06-02 03:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by ts@greenpastures 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that happenend to you that really sucks. They say that it takes half as long as the realtionship to get "over a person" but I don't think that you will ever get over it because of the way it went down. I think it would have been easier if he was stealing the kids money for the casino or something like that. But you have to accept what has happenend for your babies and because I know that you don't want them to end up like him or be with someone like him. You have to forgive him because God will take care of him. It will be very hard and the nights are long and lonely but..."I can't make you love me if you don't, you can't make your heart feel something it won't here in the dark in these final hours will would lay down my heart...." good song listen to it you will probably cry but thats okay. Also pray to God he will help you.
2007-06-02 03:14:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I am in that same place. After 11 tears he left. and has seen someone else. I want to forgive him, I have faults to. But he broke me(his faults out way mine 100 t 1)! I still love him with all he has done with all the hurt I feel right now I still Love who he was, who we were together. But time will only tell if he is worth forgiving. Tim will tell you if he deserves your forgiveness.
2007-06-02 03:37:38 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he made his choice.. I f he really was a man he wouldn't have walked out of you and his kids.
You need to live life for your kids and if he wants to live in porno then thats his choice too, you can't stop liveing just because he chose the fantasy life. I know it might be hard for you and you feel alone, but your not you have prob the best thing from him and thats your kids.
2007-06-02 03:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by angel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forgiveness is something only you will know if you can give and do its hard my husband of 13 years left my and are three young children the first time i forgave we worked it out the last time after hes 4th affair i counldnt any longer stay but i every day wonder if i made the right desision I will love him till i die and i remarried but for all its worth if you can fix the marriage thats whats best for you and your children the pain my children go threw is unbelievable they need dad and mom together and god can fix anything. ill be praying for you
2007-06-02 03:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by pamlar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋