Why is marriage so disposable?

Question

I don't understand how/why marriage is something that isn't taken serious. I am on this website often and I read time and time again...just get a divorce. I think in some cases it is valid...but just because they are in a fight or the sex isn't like it was in the beginning they should walk out and never look back... Anyone else out there that won't give up that easy?

I don't come here for "real" advice, I just saw a question about people on here that think all marriages are fixable and I wanted to counter

Answer 1

I think people have too high expectations of marriage, and they don't realize the work that goes into making it successful. Divorce is too easy. If you're not planning on taking your vows seriously, then you shouldn't marry in the first place.

Answer 2

I have been married for 17 years and I am planning on staying married. I think to many people give up way to easily. I agree with you sometimes divorce is the only answer, but other times it seems that people divorce prematurely. Marriage is full of peaks and valleys (just like anything else in life) and getting divorced isn't always the answer.

Answer 3

I do believe a majority of marriages are savable, if both party's want to and are willing to communicate and work together. I don't agree with divorce in most cases unless it is a safety issue,
Many of us believe in our partners and are willing to work at it,
marriage is not supposed to be "disposable"
I am a professional counsel with a PhD. I have been a party to many many repaired marriages. A good marriage is a valuable thing, sometimes we are just here to help it get going in the right direction.

Answer 4

all marriage are not fixable
tell that to the abused and dead women each year in "fixable" marriages
there is i time to leave
and women have changed their attitudes about marriage
to that end it better never to even get married in the 1st place
or if you do plan to fail and 50% of all marriage fail
50%
that's huge
it's so bad that less and less people are getting married and rather shacking up
and i do not blame them
it will take generations to get marriage back to the place it used to be in our society
until then
marriage is disposable and divorce is a common if not must have escape

Answer 5

I agree with you. When I got married, it was for life. Unfortunately, I was widowed at 30. I have remarried & when things got rough, he suggested we go to counceling & we did. We don't have a perfect marriage or all the answers, but we work at it every day. We will not throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. As long as there is not a third person involved & there is still mutual caring & respect there is no need for the D word.

Answer 6

well this the new century , the society of comsumption, people try , they do not like it they throw it it is true for everything and everybody.
people have forgotten that originally marriage is a commitment for life before God but as people do not know that anymore and plenty do not believe this is why it is easier to dispose than try to fix. it is the same for everything it is cheaper to buy a new appliance that repair it so it is for relationship . people do not try to see what is wrong with them and only blame the partner. but then they realise in most of the case that the history keeps reapeating until they realise that they are not perfect themselves and can actually be the ones who make the realtionship fail. some will never realise it. but anyway it is their choice and they are happy with it good for them.
but if your partner is not addicted to something, like alcohol...if he or she is not physically violent, if he or she is not a chronic unfaithfaithful , is not abusing you sexually or is any danger whatsoever to your children then it means it is always possible to fix with a little bit of good will

Answer 7

Sure....my wife and I have had more ups and downs than I care to share. But the bottom line is that we're in this together.

We have discovered that honesty isn't always pretty, but it sure has opened both our eyes to what we really have and has strengthened our relationship incredibly.

We've been married for a long time, and I agree that there's a lot of advice being given in favor of divorce, but I think that we discovered that in the long run that ours was always worth fixing.

Good luck to you and your convictions as well.

Answer 8

Well, i agree. But, I also think that Life is not a Dress Rehearsal. You get one chance to go through it. If you are not happy and you have tried, I think "out" is an option. No one should feel stuck.

But, with saying that, I agree... you should work hard at it.
I've been married 11 years, and there are certainly ups and downs.

I do miss the passion we once had. But, I guess that happens. it's really too bad.

Answer 9

You have to remember, most of the people on here are on here looking for help themselves, so they have a very negative view in a lot of cases, and are quick to say "get out"...

there are a lot of people out there that don't give up that easy...they are just too busy fighting for their relationships to get on an advice site...

Answer 10

Marriage is a lot of work. It's probably the 2nd hardest job (parenting is the first). I was married 20 years and really tried to make it work. I couldn't take it anymore.
I'm happily married 14 years now and it takes a lot of work but it's worth it. So many people think marriage is disposable and children are just toys. It makes me nuts.