I think that I may be pregnant my BF and I have been together for 5 years. I know he loves me. I love him too but I feel that if I am pregnant we should consider marriage at the same time I don't want to make him feel pressured. What do you thik. I have secretly been waiting for him to surprise me with a ring but it just hasn't happened yet, why if he loves me?
2007-06-01 11:44:27 · 11 answers · asked by Dotty D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all be truly sure that you're pregnant before you say anything about the pregnancy. Also, have you ever spoken to your BF about marriage ? I would think that during these past 5 years, this topic should have come up a few times.
If you've never discussed "the future", do so now. Find out what his intentions are before you waste another 5 years of your life giving him your love and getting nothing in return.
Realize that he has no incentive to want to marry you. He's already getting what he wants from you (sex) without having to commit or take on additional responsibility.
Don't leave your the course of your future up to him. State what you want, and if his life plans aren't the same as yours, move on.
2007-06-01 16:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
truth is you can't make a man do anything before he's ready. and if he's a lazy man, as many are, and takes you for granted, the longer you stay w/him the less lilely he is to ask. after 5 yrs, you should let him know that you're ready but if he's not you're moving on. that's all you can do. but youcan't pressure him. and having a baby in this case may be the worse thing to do. it will make you want to be married even more and it could pushhim further away. be strong. u don't need a man to complete u. he may love u but if he truly realized how special u were, after 5yrs, he should be considering marriage. but whatever u do, don't use this possible pregnancy as leverage to get the ring. it's not worth it. even if he married u b/c ur pregnant he'll always feel trapped & that u railroaded him into it.
however u didn't say how old u are. if ur under 21, you're way too young anyways. if u are pregnant, decide what to do, but don't have it in the hopes that he'll marry u. whatever u decide to do, realize that it's u and the baby in this world. without a marriage there's nothing holding your bf to u and even w/a marriage there's no guarantee. good luck.
2007-06-01 18:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by RedDevyl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he he that's funny! he's not gonna marry you because of a baby/ Aame exact thing happend to me read through my past questions. We went through a period of breaking up for 2 months after he told me he rather be without me becuase we couldn't get along and becuase he can't afford to support a family, then he decided he wanted to see me again and now everything is great and we will be moving in within a couple of months before i have the baby and get married around October. It has really sucked because our relationship had it's bumps in the road and me being pregnant was like hte last thing he wanted at the moment but now he's happy. I don't know how good ur relationship is with you rbf but- if it's good & you love each other he'll do the right thing. He might not wanna marry right away but if he asks to move in take it as it is it's worse if he tells you that he wants to be on his own. Good luck and forget about getting a ring-- that's not important now- what's important is figuring out what the 2 of you will do as far as the baby goes- if he's gonna help you to raise the baby and the expenses. If he wants to marry you that's a plus at least i think it's the least he can do marry you but- don't pressure him or you'll push him away.
2007-06-01 19:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, don't "think you are pregnant"! Buy the kit, take the test and KNOW! If you are not, then take precautions to assure that you don't become that way without you're having planned it, If you are then......
There is a great deal of difference in the levels of commitment required between a BF and a Husband/Father. It is time to put his feet to the fire so to say. Ask him where he sees your relationship being 12 months from now. If the words wife and/or marriage aren't dominant in his response then you need to re-assess your relationship. Whether he likes it or not he is about to become a father.....he may never be a Daddy nor a Husband.
2007-06-01 18:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by old dude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't pressure him into marriage. That may scare him away. Just because you are pregnant does not mean that you have to get married, that is not the way it is anymore.
I have a 3 yr old son with my bf and we still are not married. There is no urgency for marriage.
You both can be great parents without being married.
Congratulations and good luck!!
2007-06-01 18:48:20 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are not ready and hes not ready have the baby and lay off marriage for a few months and say we need to get married, and if he says no leave it alone and let him come to you. Who knows he might be saving up for a pretty ring. You got find a place where you are incharge can you do that?
2007-06-01 18:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by LNDN 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to let him know how you are feeling about marriage. Keeping it to yourself isn't going to do you any good. Just ask him how he feels about it and give him time to give you an insightful answer. That way, you will know if you want to pressure him or not.
2007-06-01 18:48:19 · answer #7 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're pregnant, don't sweat the pressure. If you're PG, tell him. If he's enthusiastic, marry him; if not, sue him for support, and find the guy you should have been screwing all those five years.
2007-06-01 18:48:27 · answer #8 · answered by Yesugi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
enjoy being pregnant and let him decide on the marriage....you have more to worry about than the walk down the aisle.......good luck!
2007-06-01 18:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by teddybears 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you are trapping him to marry you.
I would just focus on the pregnancy and if he asks you to marry him great if not such is life.
2007-06-01 19:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋