I am married to a man who when we make love wants to make me orgasm 2 or 3 times. I know his heart is in the right place but it's like that is all he is focused on is making that happen...and the truth is - it never actually happens (unless I am helping out). I don't want to hurt his feelings and I don't want him to doubt himself but I just don't think I am ever turned on enough - but how do you tell someone that?? The problem is, I have been doing this for 3 years so how can I suddenly say oh by the way - I've been faking it the whole time? I love making love to him and orgasms really don't matter a great deal to me as I just love the act itself with him, but it's so important seemingly to him. Can someone relate or help me? Or have any of you guys been told the same thing? How could you hear it that wouldn't affect your sex life - only make it better???
THANK YOU EVERYONE :D
2007-06-01 10:31:12 · 20 answers · asked by emmablue32 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I only ever do it to make my husband feel good, I know it turns him on and I know it makes him happy.
2007-06-01 10:38:59 · update #1
Please do not tell your man that you are faking it. Please dont. This will only demotivate him and he might never trust that he is doing it right and might lose interest. Most women dont orgasm vaginaly anyway. Just emphasize the things that you do enjoy and ask him to focus on that like intimace, touching, sensual massaging, kissing , what ever.
One way many women have been able to overcome this problem is through the "blended Orgasm" its where your Vag (with his you-know-what ) & Clit (preferably with a "toy" ) are stimulated simultaneously. The difference is amazing!! Also once you have orgasmed this way, your Vag is extra sensitive which makes having another very easy. Have you tried it cos you mentioned that you do orgasm with help?
But overall rather discuss what you do enjoy but dont tell him. No one would liek to hear that. Good luck and always have fun!
2007-06-01 10:47:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should tell him at all. What you should do is say this to him. "Hey babe, the other day I was masturbating (which will turn him on and perk him up instantly) and I discovered if i do XYZ I can have an omg orgasm!" He will be thrilled to know what it was, then you show him, and teach him. I orgasm 2 or 3 times per session and I've only ever faked one if I was just too tired. Faking as much as you have will crush his fragile male ego. Start gently showing him what makes you orgasm, don't flood him with all this information at once. Do it a little at a time. Gentle nudges and suggestions will keep him learning and your sex life will flourish. Also, don't always think that the man is responsible for your orgasm. It is okay to "help out" at anytime. You say your orgasm doesn't matter but it should! Research (with him) how to have a G-spot orgasm, work on it, it IS possible. You guys will never get outta bed lol... hope this helps, good luck :)
2007-06-01 10:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's necessary to tell him you"ve been faking it for 3 years. He may start to wonder what else you've been faking (love, golf, holding hands, etc.) Just tell him you think your body/outlook/etc. is changing and could he:
1. Try something new/fun/different
2. Let you just please him sometimes
3. You don't know why but your body just isn't responding like it used to and maybe just needs a break - maybe that would let him off the hook
4. Maybe he would enjoy watching you enjoy yourself
Either way, don't tell you've been faking it. My girlfriend told me how much she enjoyed golfing with me for about 3 years and when we broke up she admitted she never really liked golf. I would have enjoyed golfing with my friends but always invited her (a beginner) because I thought I was being a better partner for giving up playing with the "guys". So we would golf alone. I would have been just as happy not golfing with her especially if I knew she really wasn't into it. Maybe he's "going the extra mile" because he feels like he has to to be a good husband. Letting him know just making love to him makes you happy might be just what the doctor ordered. Good luck!
2007-06-01 10:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by willplayrequests 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might simply be a query of determining how major intercourse is to you on this courting...you advised him you false orgasms and he does not look to care. Nor is he inclined to prolong his remedy degree somewhat to check out to aid you. In different phrases, it isn't major to him. You could ought to work out whether or not it is some thing you'll are living with. He would be a pleasant man in all different respects, however in my view, if my husband and I did not have suitable intercourse drives, it would not paintings. Not every body's marriage is the equal means, regardless that. Good success. Oh, and my husband says that a guy that would possibly not cross down on his spouse is a significant fanny and must flip in his "guy card" on the first gender reassignment medical institution he can discover.
2016-09-05 19:10:40 · answer #4 · answered by barile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No , no absolutely do not tell him now or ever . What's the point ? It accomplishes nothing but bad feelings . Some things are better left unsaid and this is one of them . Let him live with his illusion . When you're old and Grey and sit on a park bench to reminisce , you will someday laugh your head off . Trust me , I laugh a lot about what I had to do . it is all part of life and you can live it any way you choose to make it better for yourself and the people you love .
The one thing that bothers me though about him is that he expects you to be so 'able' all the time to oblige . Nobody can be that predictable . I am glad he isn't my hubbie , his ego would be crushed. LOL
2007-06-01 10:55:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you tell him you are only going to hurt him. Since it doesn't bother you that you don't orgasm then I don't see any reason to tell him at all that you are faking it. He's trying and is thinking of you so you have a winner in that respect. Maybe over time you will be able to more but I wouldn't go telling him you are faking it. Will only hurt him.
2007-06-01 10:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well if you dont want to expose your fraud of 3 yrs, then tell him is just in recent months. You wont hurt his feelings, but encourage him to do something different.
Get him the book called "Sex: A Man's Guide", is obvious he has lots to learn. Cause hes just there for himself .
2007-06-01 10:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by lopez76g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like we have the same problem...it's good to know I'm not alone. I just fake it and I will never tell him. It would hurt his feelings. Some things are better left unsaid.
Good luck!
2007-06-01 10:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by fire wife 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him and show him how to make you orgasm, tell him what to do in a sexy kind of way,that way you will be teaching him how to be a great lover without him even knowing it. you know your body better than anyone else, you know how to make yourself orgasm better than anyone else. so talk to him during it and tell him what to do be sexy about it and trust me he will love it men love hearing women talking a little dirty.... even if its just a little bit... hey what have to got to gain from it AN ORGASM MAYBE....... good luck
2007-06-01 10:48:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not try other positions or bring some toys in to help you out... it would really hurt he's feelings if you told him, so try to fix it without faking.
2007-06-01 10:58:58 · answer #10 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋