Why do I hate emotional attachements?

Question

I avoid having lots of friends. I avoid getting in love.
I even avoid raising a pet, for fear I might lose it later.
Last time my bird died, I grieved for weeks.
I even don't think of having children later, because I wouldn't want to see them get hurt or die.
Should I get diagnosed, or am I just hypersensitive?

Answer 1

I'm the same way, but in addition to abandonement issues, I also feel the weight of responsibility once an attachement is made.
Because then you have to think about them, and call them, and go out with them, and try to help them figure out their lives.
I know that's selfish, but I personally try to make friends for life, not just to know a bunch of random people.
Bottom line, when I call a friend a friend, I'm calling them family, and I'm not going to just give that away to anybody.
Lastly I have hundreds of aquaintances whom I can rely on, but only a few friends I can depend on.

Answer 2

I think you are unhappy.
One reason why you would be so pesemestic is that you still did not find put who you really are which mainly means that you have not found a friend or a person that really has time to listen to you or understands you. I had almostthe same probem as you but i was not that drawned in the darkness.
What you should do is to force yourself to smile more often, meet new people, make new friends, even though you really REALLY do not want to make the effort or have a phobie of it, just force yourself to do it and i promise you, you will feel so much better in yourself and one thing will lead to another.
Good luck.
React before it is too late.

Answer 3

You've come to recognize the fact that attachment causes pain. You are also attached to the concept of control, e.g. not wanting to lose things. This is a common human condition. You need to accept the impermanence of all things, to let things go. It may help to realize that even your fears and inhibitions themselves are only temporary . . . would you really like to live the rest of your life in fear of what you want most? Try to alleviate some of these desires, and the fear dissipates. I'd say look up some information on Buddhism, particularly if you know nothing about it. It's a means of cognitive training to deal with exactly these types of problems.

Answer 4

Pilgrim I think wecan all relate in one way or another in many of the things you say you avoid in life because of loss. I know in my own life I have lost people..or had people absent when they should have been there..the point some of the best things in life are having friends, having a pet..........
I was not aloud to have a doggie when I was grwoing up because my step dad had a lung disease...in the end when I was on my own I got my first doggie and I have her 10 years now and I cry just thinking about her death....and that I will never get another doggie again but then I remember the happy 10 years she has given me and its worth it in the end..........We are all afraid of loss but remember its whats in the meantime before out deaths that count the most the here and now do not worry about the future about the loss it is partof life just enjoy what you have at the moment.......because you have to live a life of passion as someone once told me or its not living..........Good luck I wish you the best fight your fears that is life ans we are all in it together.

Answer 5

Fear and hypersensitivity, if it interferes with the growth and potential for happiness in your life, is a problem that needs to be worked on for your well being. In your efforts to avoid pain you are preventing happiness. And besides, how do you know you are avoiding pain. Look at others who have made those choices and are older than you....are they happy in thier solitary existance....or could you see yourself spending your life this way? Since death is a part of life....is it not something that you need to work on to get in perspective? How much joy do you have in your life? Want it....Get it.....its a choice.

Answer 6

There is no question that you are sensitive to loss. That makes you hesitant to form emotional attachements. If you search your history you will see many situations that left you feeling alone and/or hurt. If this continues and interferes with establishing friends then it would be helpful to talk to a counselor.

Answer 7

All of these sound like pretexts for the fact that you are a very self-sufficient person. You don't need attachments. It is true that most people do, but equally true that not all do. Some people are natural solitaries. You may be one of them.

Answer 8

get diagnosed! for all sakes!