Jeez...this may sound so dumb, but an elderly couple lives next door to us and their daughter (who is our age) brings her son over to be babysat a few times a week. She is an attractive woman...and I asked my husband one day, "Is she a woman you would date should we not be together,"...OKAY I set myself up with that one....and his reply was, WITHOUT hesitation, "Yeah, I'd date her if we weren't together,".....typical implusive response from a male regarding the opposite sex in my opinion. Now, I felt kind of awkward....does he look at her? What does he think? etc. etc.
So, lately, we've been having her son and our son play together when we're all outside at the same time. Now, I just feel wierd...and when they (my husband and this woman) talk, I almost feel defensive or a need to walk away because I get a little uncomfortable.
I do trust my husband, without question,...but still feel awkward...what do you think?
2007-06-01 09:18:06 · 43 answers · asked by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NOTE--this woman is not married...I thought maybe this would be a question...
2007-06-01 09:20:12 · update #1
Women love married men especially attractive men......watch her....especially if she starts flirting with him. Make sure you keep your man "happy"....in bed....do what ever it takes to make sure he keeps his eyes only on you. It normal for men to fantasize about other women but don't let a fantasy turn into reality. Just watch your back and be cautious....Most affairs start out as "just friends". Don't leave them alone, make her feel uncomfortable, she's the 3rd wheel, not you.
2007-06-01 09:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you have no need to worry.You asked him a question and he gave you an answer whether you liked it or not.What if he did'nt answer ,then you would think he was holding back something.If your husband loves you then there should'nt be a problem whether or not she's around.Nine times out of ten when a women thinks that her man finds another woman attractive,that womn finds something in that other women also.Same thing goes for a women.I think everyone feels like that from time to time.No need to feel awkward just always know that she is his type so theres know telling what he might do or say when you're not around.If I was in this situation I would step my game up some more when she is around.Just remember you're not around your husband 24/7.
2007-06-01 09:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by Shan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You obviously don't trust your husband, otherwise you wouldn't have asked such a ridiculous question in the first place. Why question what isn't reality? Reality is he's married to YOU, not her. Hypotheticals are a waste of time...
I have no problem looking at other men, but it's just looking. You can't expect a person to never look at another human being with attraction simply because you put a ring on his/her finger. We're all human - and the good thing about being human is we have a CHOICE in how we behave. Thinking & acting are two different things, and if you really expect your husband to go the rest of his life without finding another woman attractive, well, it's time to grow up.
Work on your insecurity, stop asking silly questions, and enjoy your husband.
2007-06-01 09:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His answer was if you weren't together. You are getting yourself all bent out of shape over nothing. 1st who is to say this woman would even want him? No offense but you are making yourself out to be a crazy person when I do not think you are. Your hubby is looking for you to get a little jealous because he like attention. This is why he said this. You are the prize and he is lucky you married him. Remember that!!
Men love the chase no matter how long your married. They love confident woman. Stop with the drama after all he comes home to you right..
2007-06-01 09:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I hate to say it but I think you brought on this awkwardness yourself. There are just some questions that should stay UNASKED. If you don't want to know,don't ask...as they say! :) I doubt you have anything to worry about. The fact is, just because a guy gets married doesn't mean he doesn't still LOOK occasionally. But you know he loves YOU and that should be what is important. Now, I will say, I would keep an eye on them a little...but that's just my nature. I would just make sure she's not being flirtatious with him. Don't worry!
2007-06-01 09:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think after being in your marriage for a longer time, you will both know better. You should not ask questions like that and he either should not answer or he should invoke a white lie.
In the meantime, chill out. He's not going anywhere. It does take a measure of trust in you for him to have given you that answer.
I say the following with the kindest intention:
Don't act like a silly woman!
2007-06-01 09:25:46 · answer #6 · answered by I know for sure 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Babe, I can tell you that your husband is thinking how she looks naked everythime he looks at her. he is thinking in banging her for sure and when the opportunity presents itself he will do it.
The best thing is tell you husband how you feel and maybe he can be a little bit more respectful when you are present. Otherwise, just deal with it and see what happens next!
Or maybe you can find a hot guy to come over and talk to you while your husband is talking to her!
or invite her for a good Three way fun!
2007-06-01 09:44:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel it was insensitive of your husband to be so blunt. Most men will at least sugar coat it a bit so as to not make there wives feelings get hurt. Just know this, there are alot of attractive women out there in this world, if he really wanted to cheat he would have already. Although if I were you, I still would not leave them alone for any extended amount of time. He set himself up for this one.
2007-06-01 09:54:32 · answer #8 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really have worked up a whole scene for yourself but you need to talk to your husband otherwise you could have this blown all out of proportion. And if you are truly uncomfortable after that then don't have the play dates any longer.
2007-06-01 09:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your husband hasn't given you any reason to doubt him. You have 2 choices here: the first one is to be jealous every time you see her and possible alienate your husband or to let this go. The choice is yours.
I do think it would be wise to have a talk with him about your feelings. Let him know that you trust him but make sure he is aware of his boundaries. Good luck.
2007-06-01 09:37:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋