We have no kids together but he has 3 that we have 24/7. i just feel like he limited me for the future
2007-06-01 09:15:09 · 31 answers · asked by lilbitevans 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey, this is your life too you know, not just a stepmother like hand-me-down clothing.
Do you want kids of your own someday? Answer that question selfishly. You DO need to be selfish in this area.
2007-06-01 09:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He chose not to have any more children. I am so sorry if you wanted to have children with him. I can't blame him for his choice, though. Three kids is a lot and he probably made the best decision for him.
I do disagree with the way he went about it. In Michigan, a wife has to have signed permission for a tubal, but married men do NOT need permission to have a vasectomy. Also, a woman has to be over 24 with kids and a man can have it done at 18 with no kids. Gotta love a double standard. I think that permanent birth control is something that a couple should decide together.
So, the vasectomy has been done. Now you need to decide if you want to have kids of your own and find a new partner or if you want to continue to raise his kids as his wife and not have kids of your own.
Either way, I would be angry and feel betrayed that he made such a huge decision without you.
2007-06-01 16:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him enough to raise his children and not have any of your own. You knew that he had a vasectomy before you moved in with him, then you didn't go into this relationship blind. If you love him enough sometimes they can reverse the operation but he doesn't want anymore children but you do, then get up and leave find someone that can give you children , but you better be sure that you aren't still in love with him or you regret this ending. It's up to you to stay or go, maybe you could adopt , but it looks like he had this surgery because he no longer wanted anymore children, Best Of luck To You.
2007-06-01 16:26:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nicki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is did you want to have a child with him? Your husband sounds selfish if he was aware you did. He has 3 kids and he is done. Did he make the decision for you or did you go into this marriage knowing he did not want any more kids and you thought you would change his mind? If you were aware he did not want to have any more children he did nothing wrong. However, if he knew you wanted children and then did this then that is a different story.
2007-06-01 16:23:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you want biological children of your own no I would not marry him. He's got 3 other kids and obviously doesnt want more getting a vasectomy was his choice not yours, would be like him trying to force you to have your tubes tied
2007-06-01 16:19:45 · answer #5 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is really for you. Is having children of your own essential for you to be happy in this lifetime? If the answer is yes then you have found one of your relationship requirements.
You will not be compatible in the long run if he can't give you kids. Also, you need to think about the fact that he did this knowing your feelings about it. Does he actually respect you and your opinion? Food for thought.
2007-06-01 16:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by Terri Klapperich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not if you want children of your own!!!! He's made his own decision not to have anymore and didn't consider anyone else that might become involved in his life. Best to meet someone you can have a family with. I don't think this relationship will bring you happiness only heartache after heartache. He needs to find someone who already has children and dosen't want anymore kids. Meet new people!!
2007-06-01 16:44:16 · answer #7 · answered by 24Special 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are usually a deal breaker in any relationship. If you want kids, and he knew that, and he went and had a vasectomy knowing that, seems a little spiteful.
I wouldn't marry him for many reasons. He doesn't want kids, and he seems to think you aren't trustworthy enough to make sure it doesn't happen.
2007-06-01 16:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
hell no. i think he made his needs loud and clear. limited you? yep. in the most personal way possible. the discussion of whether to have kids or not is non-negotiable...in other words...either you do or you don't. you can't talk someone into it. it's his life to do with what he wants and his personal decision spoke volumes about what his expectations are. you should consider if this man and you have a future.
2007-06-01 16:38:56 · answer #9 · answered by leftbrainedgirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have children of your own in the future, then no, you shouldn't marry him. He apparently has all the children he wants and you can't expect him to have more against his wishes.
2007-06-01 16:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋